#Female Reader X Leigh Shaw

[ginnsbaker]

fic: if i bleed (you'll be the last to know) (16/17)

Part Summary: You and Leigh cling to each other, counting down the days until she leaves next year for Matt's book tour.

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x Fem!Reader | Word count for this part: 5.300+ | Tags/Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Smut, Strap-on usage (r receiving), oral (r receiving), sex in public | Author's note: Just R and Leigh being all over each other before we wrap up this series :)

Masterlist | Part I Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII | Part XIV I Part XV

-

Your internal clock kicks in at five in the morning, even though it feels like you and Leigh only just fell asleep, exhausted after hours of chasing each other to the brink and back. You’ve long since stopped counting the times you’ve brought each other over the edge, a relentless pursuit of pleasure that left both of you gasping, spent, yet craving more. 

Was it possible to share an orgasm that stretched into what felt like hours? If so, how were you not just a tangle of bliss-wrecked limbs, dead to the world?

You vaguely remember a drowsy conversation as you were both drifting off, your sweaty bodies tangled in the sheets. You’d managed a murmured question about the future, about what happens when Leigh hits the road for the comic tour. But she’d just pressed a lazy, silencing kiss to the corner of your mouth. “What if tomorrow an asteroid hits Los Angeles?” she’d teased, nosing the length of your jaw, pressing a kiss here and there.

You tried to frown, your mind foggy with sleep. “Be serious,” you muttered.

“I am,” she whispered back, her lips brushing against your ear, sending shivers down your spine. “I’m dead serious about sucking every drop of now, not wasting a second on what-ifs.”

You’re not entirely sure what happened next, only that when Leigh said the word suck, you felt a tingling sensation that surged down to your core. Before you knew it, you were on your back again, with Leigh skillfully coaxing out the final, shattering orgasm of the night from you.

Stretching your back, you hear a few satisfying pop, reminding you how sex with Leigh was nothing short of a workout, your muscles pleasantly sore from it. The first pale light finds Leigh beside you, her back turned, skin bare, and just a whisper of the sheets covering her. You realize you’ve monopolized the covers throughout the night. 

You carefully pull the sheet over her, tucking it around her exposed shoulder. She’s still out, peaceful, her breathing even and deep. You can’t help but slide closer, wrapping an arm around her waist, her skin so soft and warm. You kiss the back of her neck lightly, her scent—a mix of sweet sweat and the faint floral of her shampoo—fills you up.

Soon enough, the gentle rhythm of Leigh's breathing lulls you back into sleep.

-

When you wake up again, hours later, the bed beside you is empty. The covers are tucked around you, forming a comforting cocoon, undoubtedly Leigh’s thoughtful doing. 

There’s no rush to throw on clothes; you relish the comfort of the sheets against your bare skin as you slide out of bed. It's not your first time being in Leigh’s room, but the last time you were here, you barely made it a foot inside before being overtaken by the fight you were having. Last night was different. In the darkness, nothing mattered except Leigh’s cries of pleasure, the slick heat between her thighs, and the taste of her lips, completely consumed by the wonders of her body. With the slow start to your morning, you realize you now have all the time in the world to explore Leigh’s room.

Though, quite literally, there’s not much to unpack here.

In one corner near the windows, stacks of cardboard boxes are still wrapped in tape. They are remnants, you guess, of her life with Matt. Drifting over to Leigh’s desk, you notice a notebook sitting there, its pages shut tight. The temptation to peek is there, but you respect her privacy, leaving it untouched. Above the desk, a small shelf is lined with books—classics you recognize and, surprisingly, a few romance novels by Emily Henry. You're not usually into romance, but you make a mental note to check out this author on your next visit to a bookstore.

Exploring Leigh’s room reveals a charming minefield. Clothes are draped over chairs, pooled on the floor, or spilling from drawers. The dresser is a jumble of lotion bottles, perfume, earrings, and hair ties. It's all quintessentially Leigh—somewhat untamed. Your self-guided tour brings you inevitably back to the doorway. Just as you’re turning to give one last look over the room, the door bursts open. It's Jules, and the moment she sees you, her eyes widen in horror.

“Jesus, Y/N!” Jules shrieks, throwing her hands up to shield her eyes. “What the hell?”

Scrambling, you grab a throw pillow off Leigh’s bed and hold it in front of you. “Jules! I, uh, didn't think anyone would be coming in,” you stammer, cheeks heating up.

“Why are you naked in my sister's room?” Jules demands, her voice muffled by her hands, still covering her face. The question sounds ridiculous even to her ears—everyone knew you and Leigh had a date last night.

Of course, you're naked in her sister's bedroom the next morning. Where else?

“I—We were just—” Every explanation sounds more absurd as you try to find the words.

“Just—don't. Please, just get dressed,” Jules interrupts, still not looking at you.

Nodding, you quickly grab the first clothes you can find, not bothering to check if they’re yours or if they’re clean. Within seconds, you're awkwardly pulling on a white shirt featuring a pickle wearing aviators, captioned Dill With It, and squeezing into lime shorts that are definitely a bit too snug and short for your taste.

“I'm decent,” you announce, hoping your voice doesn’t betray how flustered you feel.

Right then, Leigh emerges from downstairs, looking bewildered by the commotion. “What’s going on?” she asks, eyes darting between her flustered sister and you in your bizarre outfit.

Jules lowers her hands slowly, peeking out with one eye before fully facing you. Her irritation is palpable as she glares at Leigh. 

“You said I could borrow your charger from your bedroom!” Jules exclaims, her finger quivering slightly as she points it at her sister.

Leigh blinks, her lips twitching as she fights the urge to laugh. She sneaks a glance at you, your face now resembling a ripe tomato from embarrassment, and mutters almost absentmindedly, “I assumed she'd still be asleep.”

Jules huffs, “Whatever.” She strides over to Leigh's desk, grabbing the charger with a dramatic flourish. You stand frozen, barely breathing. As Jules heads for the door, she pauses, crinkling her nose as if a new thought has just occurred to her. She turns, eyes narrowed slightly in disgust. 

“And open a window, would you? It smells like a brothel in here. Gross.” With that parting shot, she's gone.

Leigh lets out a breath and shakes her head. She steps closer and wraps her arms around you, her laughter bubbling up. “Well, that was something,” she says, coming over to wrap you in a hug. She gives your shirt a playful tug. “You kind of rock the pickle look, though.”

“It's a new trend,” you joke, pulling her a little closer. As you do, you lean in to kiss her cheek softly, whispering, “Good morning.”

Leigh smiles and leans in to kiss you on the lips, but you instinctively bring up your fingers to your mouth, mumbling, “I haven’t brushed yet.”

Unfazed, Leigh simply pries your fingers away and presses her lips firmly against yours. It's a quick but solid peck, leaving you both smiling.

“Morning breath doesn't scare me,” she murmurs, tracing a finger down your throat to your clavicle. “Besides, after last night, I think a little morning breath is nothing we can't handle.”

Grinning, you dive back in for another kiss, deeper this time, as Leigh starts steering you backward towards the bed. Just as the back of your knees hit the mattress, a rumble from your stomach interrupts the moment—loud, untimely, and embarrassingly intolerant.

Leigh chuckles, her forehead resting against yours as she catches her breath. “Guess that's my cue to feed you something other than kisses,” she says with a smirk, pulling back and offering her hand to help you up. “Come on, Jules made breakfast.”

Gratefully, you take her hand, letting her lead you out of the bedroom.

-

“Forget that research gig, I'm heading straight to America's Got Talent,” Suzie jokes, staggering back to the table after a spirited, if slightly wobbly, rendition of Total Eclipse of the Heart. She's already half-drunk but radiates happiness, her performance having drawn cheers and hearty sing-alongs from the crowd at the karaoke bar.

She flops down in her chair, cheeks flushed and grinning, as your group erupts in cheers and claps. Tomorrow is Suzie's last day, and you had her pick the venue for her farewell party. Knowing how much she loves to sing during downtime at the clinic, a karaoke bar was an obvious choice.

“Here's to Suzie!” you shout, trying to be heard over the sound of a couple belting out a ballad on stage. “For the longest time, you've been the clinic's backbone and heartbeat. We never would've made it without you. You'll be terribly missed, but remember, our door is always open for you.”

The table erupts in cheers before everyone empties the glasses they're holding up. You drop back into your seat, feeling a little dizzy after that round. It's a small group—just you, Suzie, Foreman, Sara, and your maintenance guys, Joey and Mike.

Suzie suddenly leaps to her feet, glass raised high. “And a huge shout-out to the hottest boss I've ever had the pleasure of working ‘under’!” she yells, punctuating her words with a devious wink. Your team bursts into laughter, their uproar drawing whistles and applause from some folks at nearby tables. Sara chimes in with a spirited “Hear, hear!”, while Foreman simply rolls his eyes, a hint of envy in his expression—he's already made a pass at Sara and was swiftly rejected.

You wave your hands dismissively. “Alright, alright, let's not give everyone the wrong idea,” you say, your cheeks reddening a bit from both the attention and the alcohol. Just as you're about to retake your seat, feeling the room sway slightly with your tipsiness, your phone vibrates in your pocket. You fumble it out to see Leigh's name lighting up the screen. You’d texted her this morning inviting her to join the farewell, but her busy schedule had made her confirmation uncertain.

You excuse yourself and stumble slightly as you rise, steadying your hand on the back of your chair. Weaving through the tables, you find a quieter spot near the entrance of the bar to answer the call.

“Hey,” you say, pressing the phone to your ear, your voice dropping as you move away from all the ruckus. “Everything okay?”

“Hey,” Leigh's voice cuts in, a bit choppy and barely audible over the blaring speakers. “I'm outside of the... Brass Gibbon? Am I at the right place?”

You miss the last part of her sentence. “Sorry? Can you say that again?”

Strangely, you catch Leigh's deep sigh perfectly. “I said I'm outside,” she repeats.

“Oh! Hang on, I'm coming out.”

You dash out of the restaurant and spot Leigh leaning against the wall. You can’t help but rush over and wrap her in a tight bear hug. It’s only been two days since you woke up in her bed, but you’ve already missed seeing her, smelling her, feeling her in your arms.

She laughs and returns the hug. As she tries to pull away, you tighten your grip, holding her for a few more precious seconds. She relents with a soft chuckle, patting you lightly on the back. When you finally let go, her eyes roam fondly over your face, taking in your slightly flushed cheeks and dreamy stare. Seeing this, her smile only widens.

“Someone's had a few too many,” she teases.

You hiccup and try to defend yourself, “I’ve just had three—no, four!”

Leigh smirks and shakes her head. “Four, huh? Must've been some party,” she says, taking your hand. As Leigh leads you back toward the bar, you find yourself gazing down at your intertwined hands, a goofy grin spreading across your face. You giggle softly to yourself, slightly buzzed and thoroughly enchanted by the simple act of holding her hand.

Upon reaching your table, Suzie waves enthusiastically to get Leigh's attention. Leigh responds with a bright, “Hello, everyone!” as you both approach the group. There’s a moment where everyone looks expectantly at you, waiting for an introduction. Momentarily distracted by Leigh's presence, you get a nudge and a whisper from Suzie sitting next to you, “Introduce her, you goof!”

Quickly regaining your composure, you turn slightly, still holding Leigh’s hand. “Everyone, this is Leigh,” you announce, proud and slightly nervous. Everyone takes turns shaking her hand and introducing themselves. You watch anxiously as Sara stands up to greet Leigh, but Leigh's smile never fades, and a wave of calm washes over you as you observe your team warmly interacting with your—

“Is she your girlfriend?” Foreman asks overtly. The room goes quiet. Everyone's eyes swing between you and Leigh, waiting.

You're stuck, words lodged somewhere in your chest, not sure what to say or how to say it.

And then Leigh beats you to it.

“Yes.”

You blink, staring at Leigh, flooded with relief and suddenly feeling very, very horny.  When Leigh notices your dazed look, her face switches to concern. “You okay?” she asks. Before you can answer, she’s already grabbing your hand, turning to everyone, “Excuse us, Y/N's not feeling great.”

You're still reeling from her bold affirmation and too captivated by Leigh to piece together a coherent thought. The next thing you know, you're being guided—rather roughly—into one of the bathroom stalls, your back pressed against the door as Leigh locks it behind you.

Leigh leans in close, her breath hot against your ear. “You shouldn't be wearing your white doctor's coat out like this,” she murmurs.

You open your mouth to explain—it was chilly, and beneath the coat, all you had on was a skimpy black strappy dress. But as Leigh slides the coat from your shoulders, her lips find your earlobe, gently nibbling. The words die in your throat, replaced by a sharp intake of breath. Leigh pushes you harder against the door, her body pinning yours with surprising force. That's when you feel it—the unmistakable hardness of a strap beneath her pants. A deep, needy moan spills from you as she starts grinding against you.

How did you miss the pronounced bulge in the tight jeans she wore to meet everyone? Was this part of her plan? The nerve of it—meeting everyone, introducing herself so confidently and casually, all while planning to take you here, in a public bathroom. It's almost as if she was silently bragging to your team, “Yeah, I’m about to fuck your boss in a public bathroom. Nice to meet you.”

The thought alone makes you soak your panties. Despite the thrill, the risk of getting caught in public makes you hesitate. “Leigh, they’re waiting for us,” you protest weakly.

Leigh just grins against your skin. “But I'm not done making you feel better,” she whispers slowly, making you clench your thighs together from how hoarse her voice has gotten. Her hands are deft as she bunches your dress around your waist and begins to unzip her pants. All the while, she deposits open-mouthed kisses along your neck, leaving a trail of saliva in their wake. 

“Leigh…” you whine, unsure if you're trying to make her stop or urging her on out of impatience. She just smirks, that knowing look in her eyes telling you she’s got you right where she wants you. Before you can protest again, she pulls you into a deep, toe-curling kiss that melts your doubts away.

Then, you see it. Leigh pulls out a seven-inch strap-on, its girth substantial. Her hand barely fits around it as she spits into her palm and coats the silicone with deliberate strokes, preparing it. 

You're teetering on the edge, mind spinning, when Leigh switches things up on you. Suddenly, she’s on her knees, and before you know what’s happening, she’s tugged your panties down. You’re about to react when her tongue hits you, slick and warm, tracing up your pussy.

“Oh my god!” you cry out.

Leigh’s tongue works magic, and she hums against you. “You taste sweeter every time,” she murmurs, just before her tongue dives back in for more. You can only moan in response, words failing you completely as pleasure builds. Just when you’re about to peak, Leigh pulls away, leaving you hanging on the brink. She stands quickly, grabs the strap-on, and steps closer. Her grin is wicked as she rubs the toy against your slick folds, coating it with your arousal. When the thick head nudges your clit, you can’t help but curse out loud.

“Leigh! Fuck!”

Leigh clamps a hand over your mouth, her eyes widening slightly as she hears someone enter the bathroom. She gives you a quick, commanding look, silently instructing you to wrap your legs around her. As you comply, the toy squeezes tighter in your folds, making you shudder.

“Put your arms around my shoulders, hold tight,” she murmurs, breathless from the effort she’s exerting to hold you up. She guides the tip of the cock to your entrance. “Ready?” she asks softly. You nod, pressing your face into the crook of her neck to drown out any sounds. Without another word, Leigh thrusts into you in one swift motion. The size is a shock, and you bite down on her neck to stifle a cry, the slight pain mingling with deep pleasure. Sensing your need to adjust, Leigh holds back, her body taut yet patient, giving you a moment. Once you give a slight nod against her neck, Leigh starts moving again, slowly at first. 

She continues thrusting into you, speeding up just a little, her lips just inches from your ear. “I've been thinking about this, fucking you like this,” she whispers.

Dumb with pleasure, you gasp out, “H-Here?”

“Not here, silly,” she breathes out, her rhythm faltering slightly as a particular thrust grazes her clit just right. The strap-on drags tantalizingly against your walls as she pulls out, then sinks back in deep, hitting spots that light you up from the inside. Leigh’s fucking you like the strap is a true extension of hers. For a second there, you wish it were. 

“Ideally, I'd have you in your bed, where you can scream your l-lungs out,” Leigh whimpers as her movements grow more and more out of control. She drives into you relentlessly, each stroke making you slicker, drawing moans from deep within you. “S-Seeing you tonight... I couldn’t w-wait.”

You've never been so wet, so ready, and every time she pulls back, you feel the absence of her deeply, desperately not wanting this to end.

Leigh changes her approach, drawing back slowly until only the head of her cock remains inside you, before surging forward, slamming into you. Each powerful thrust pins you harder against the door, the sound of your bodies smacking together rocking you into a lust-filled haze. The sheer strength of her movements turns you on even more, making you more slippery, and soon you can practically hear the sound of her fucking you—wet, squelching noises that you're sure anyone nearby can hear.

True enough, you catch the sound of hurried footsteps and the door slamming shut as someone rushes out, likely realizing what's happening. 

With the coast clear, she carefully lowers your legs from her waist, sensing that you’re close but knowing you need more. Just when you think you might lose it, she suddenly pulls out. You barely have time to gasp, ready to curse her for stopping, when she swiftly turns you around and positions you over the toilet, making you brace yourself on the seat.

Without warning, she enters you from behind, the angle allowing her to go deeper. Leigh drags your dress further up your body, her hands roaming over your smooth back before digging into your hips. Your breathing becomes shallower as she continues her unforgiving pace, but you crave more.

Sensing your need, Leigh sneaks a hand in front of you, her fingers finding your swollen clit. She circles it tightly with three fingers, massaging the engorged nub. “Look how big it's grown,” she whispers huskily in your ear. “You're so ready. Practically dripping everywhere.”

You whimper helplessly, tears forming behind your eyelids from the amount of pleasure you’re receiving. 

“I wish I could come in you, fill you up.”

That does it. Your body tenses, and a powerful orgasm crashes over you, making you cry out. Leigh tries to hold you up, supporting your weight as you lose all sensation in your legs.

“Fuck, Leigh!" you moan, trembling. “That was... oh god…”

Leigh doesn't stop, her own need for release driving her forward. Despite your pleas about how sensitive you are, she continues relentlessly, her fingers expertly working your clit again. “Leigh, please,” you whimper, your body overstimulated and trembling. “I can’t—”

“Just one more, baby,” she groans. “I-I’m close.”

At Leigh’s plea, your body, still reeling from the first orgasm, starts building up again. “Oh god, Leigh,” you gasp, feeling the pressure mount once more, your body trembling uncontrollably. Within seconds, you're hurtling toward another peak, your legs shaking as she drives you over the edge. A second, even more intense orgasm rips through you, your cries echoing in the small stall. Leigh finally lets out a low, guttural moan, her own release hitting as she keeps you bent over, her fingers never stopping their assault on your clit until every last wave of pleasure has wracked your body. 

Shortly thereafter, Leigh finally slows, her thrusts easing until she stops completely, still buried deep inside you. She pinches your ass appreciatively, then tests how sensitive you are with a small thrust that has you hissing. She chuckles at your reaction, taking pity on you. Bending over, she kisses your cheek and whispers, “I'm gonna pull out now, okay?”

You nod weakly, still catching your breath. Leigh begins to withdraw slowly, her eyes fixed on the junction of your bodies. She watches, fascinated, as she draws back, the wet tendrils stretching and finally snapping from your pussy to her cock. 

“Look at you,” she murmurs in awe, half to herself, as she finally frees herself completely and tucks the strap back inside her pants.

“Are you okay?” she asks, noticing you’ve been in the same position longer than usual.

“Yeah, just give me a minute... or five,” you reply with a breathless laugh.

She laughs softly too, then helps you pull your panties up from your ankles. Once you're somewhat decent, she sits on the toilet lid and pulls you into her lap, resting her forehead on your chest, eyes closed, her breath steady on your sternum. You weave your fingers into her hair, massaging her scalp gently. Leigh sighs contentedly, but then her voice turns apologetic. 

“I'm sorry for… I literally lost control. It's just... I keep seeing you and thinking of February, when I have to go and I—”

“I know what you mean,” you interrupt softly, tilting her head towards you with fingers under her chin. “I don't want to waste a single moment.”

Leigh nods, then quickly buries her face in your chest to hide her watery eyes, her head nestled comfortably against your breast.

For a while, you just hold each other without saying anything, content even in the cramped space of the stall. After a while, you gently suggest, “We should get back. Don’t want to give the staff any ideas.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Leigh says, lifting her head to meet your eyes. 

She helps you to your feet, both of you adjusting your clothes, sharing a quiet, knowing smile. With one last kiss, you step out of the stall together.

When you and Leigh return to the group, it's clear they're more inebriated than when you left. Except Suzie. The smirk that spreads across her face as soon as she sees you gives away that she's pieced together what happened between you and Leigh. Your cheeks flush immediately, providing Suzie all the confirmation she needs. Without missing a beat, she guides you both back to the booth and strategically sits between you and Leigh, still smirking.

“Thanks for coming, Leigh,” Suzie says, offering Leigh a beer.

Leigh accepts the drink, taking a large gulp before saying, “Sorry for crashing your party.”

“No, you’re not,” Suzie says with an impish grin. “I told Y/N to invite you. I wanted to meet you properly before I go.”

“Oh?” Leigh looks up from her drink. “Why’s that?”

“Suzie—” you try to interject.

Suzie holds up a finger to shush you. Leigh's eyebrow arches at the gesture, clearly feeling provoked by your former receptionist's antics. You tense up for a moment, worried Suzie might say something offensive to Leigh.

Instead, she grins and says, “I wanted to meet the reason my boss stares into space half the time.”

You shoot Suzie a deathly glare, but she just laughs. 

“Really?” Leigh asks, amused. “That bad, huh?”

Suzie nods, enjoying every second. “Oh, yeah. It’s been fun watching her daydream.”

The rest of the group laughs and then Foreman accidentally spills his drink down his shirt, drawing everyone’s attention. Taking advantage of the distraction, Suzie leans in closer to Leigh, her expression becoming earnest.

“I might not be Y/N’s best friend,” she tells her, “but consider this a friendly warning from someone who cares about her just as much. Don’t break her heart, okay?”

Leigh meets her gaze head on and says, “I don’t plan on it.”

“Good,” Suzie says, rising from her seat. “Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to kick off the second set of my concert tonight.”

-

Leigh doesn’t mention Suzie’s little warning to you, choosing to keep it to herself. Yet, as she spends more time with you, those words linger in the back of her mind, subtly coloring her perceptions and the way she observes your interactions. It’s not something she dwells on openly, but it’s there, quietly guiding her along the way. 

You don’t tell Leigh how she’s been everything you could ever ask for these past few weeks, but you've noticed. You see her thoughtfulness in the small things—like how she always brings you your favorite coffee just the way you like it, or the way she listens, really listens, giving you her undivided attention when you talk about your day, no matter how trivial the details. And it's clear she's not holding back; she's refreshingly candid. Leigh shares everything that's on her mind, effortlessly expressing how your words or actions impact her, for better or worse—a true companionship.

The sex gradually tapered off, but your longing for Leigh has only grown—not just in a sexual sense. You miss her in the mornings when she's makeup-free, leaving a small mark of drool on your pillow. During the day, you wish you could grab lunch with her or talk about the new book you spotted in a shop window, especially after deep discussions about its author. You long to share every detail of your day with her, to hear her take on the little things, to see her in your dreams.

Simply put, you find yourself wanting her around all the time.

It's risky to find yourself wanting her even more than you already do, but you've long since surrendered control over your own heart. It feels like being a prisoner on death row, helplessly waiting for the inevitable moment she leaves LA for her tour.

-

One evening, Leigh surprises you with a picnic dinner at the park. She finds the perfect spot under a massive oak tree and lays down a cozy blanket. From her basket, she pulls out a homemade lasagna that’s still warm and a grazing box loaded with your favorite cheeses and cold cuts. 

As you settle down, Leigh pulls out a bottle of wine and two glasses. She winks, assuring you she definitely got permission to take it from her mom’s cellar.

You smile, watching her pour the wine. “So.. what’s the occasion?”

Leigh shrugs as she hands you a glass of wine, her smile easy. “I just wanted to do something nice for you,” she says simply.

You take a sip, enjoying the flavor, but there’s a nagging feeling you just can’t seem to shake off. 

“You've been going all out for me lately,” you quip, keeping your tone light. “What's this really about?”

Leigh’s smile fades just a touch, though her eyes remain hopeful. She takes a deep breath.

“I spoke with Matt's publisher,” she starts cautiously. “I’ve officially agreed to go on the tour. They've sorted out all the details—the itinerary, the places, everything.”

The news doesn't surprise you. You've been expecting this; neither you nor Leigh can keep avoiding the inevitable, hiding behind the rush of desire you have for each other, the comfortable days that are, you both know, numbered.

You fall silent for a while, simply lying down with your head in Leigh's lap. She seems taken aback at first, but quickly adjusts to make you more comfortable. You look up at her, smiling, finding her face and the night sky an unbelievably stunning match.

Leigh gives you a funny look, her brow furrowing slightly. “Did you hear what I said?” she asks.

“Yeah, I heard you,” you mumble, still distracted by her face. Then, as an afterthought, you whisper, “You were always going to go.”

She nods, looking upward, her eyes glistening as she tries to blink back tears.

“Are you going alone?” you ask.

Leigh takes a moment, then shakes her head slightly. “Danny might come too,” she admits. “But with his new job in Vegas, I doubt he’ll be able to.”

As you absorb her words, you realize why you asked. Maybe part of you had sensed it, maybe you needed the confirmation. Regardless, you know you have no say in the matter. If Danny is there, at least someone can look out for Leigh.

You hadn't noticed you'd voiced your thoughts about Danny possibly joining her until Leigh says, “I can handle myself just fine, you know.”

“Of course, you can,” you reply quickly, “but that won’t stop me from worrying.”

She gives you a soft smile and starts toying with your hair, gently pulling strands and braiding them. The slight tugs as she twists your hair into braids lull you into an almost sleepy state. You're drifting on the edge of dozing off when her voice, soft and tender, pulls you back. 

“I love you.”

Your eyes snap open. Leigh’s refrained from saying it during sex, and not that you’ve been counting, but it’s the third time. It takes you a few seconds to process, your heart catching up with your mind, and then you notice Leigh's amused smile. 

“I love you, too,” you whisper back. You can sense that your statement simultaneously makes her both happy and sad. You wish you could make it all joy, all the time.

But that’s not how life works.

Leigh bends down, her lips brushing softly against yours before she pulls away, her breath warm on your face. “Do you think this would be easier if we hadn't said those three words to each other?” she whispers, her eyes searching yours for an answer.

You sigh, mulling over her question. “I honestly don't know,” you say, voice soft but certain. “But I couldn’t have kept it to myself, not with how I feel about you. All I know is I love you, whether you’re leaving or staying.”

Leigh's eyes well up again, but this time she lets the tears fall. She leans in, her forehead resting against yours. “Thank you,” she murmurs. 

“For what?” you ask curiously, sitting up.

Leigh wipes her tear with a dainty finger, then traces the line of your jaw before pecking you on the lips.

“For being you,” she whispers. “And for showing me that life can go on in any number of ways.”

[gingiesworld]

At My Worst

Chapter One

18+ MINORS DNI

Warnings: Reader is intersex.

Taglist: @username23345

Leigh Shaw X Fem Reader

After Matt had died, I never truly thought that I would be happy again. Even when I had tried to move on with Danny. Yes, he is my dead husband's brother. Even with Danny I was never free from the grief. The hold Matt had over me even after learning what I did about him and a colleague. So it ruined everything between Danny and I so I cut ties with him. Hoping it would help me find my solace in a dark place. And I did, I found her unexpectedly.

Leigh was just trying to do her usual things after she had cut every tie that she had with her dead husband and his brother. Wanting to move on with her life, wanting to feel free. That was when she bumped into Y/N unexpectedly.

"Hi, are you ok?" She asked Leigh as she steadied her on her feet.

"I'm ok." Leigh nodded as she smiled stiffly.

"Are you sure?" She questioned as Leigh nodded unsurely. "Do you want a drink and maybe you can tell me a little about that sad life you have."

"How do you know it's sad?" Leigh challenged as Y/N smirked.

"Just by looking in your eyes. You smile tells people you're ok but your eyes tell another story." She told her. "I'm Y/N."

"Leigh." She took Y/N's hand and shook it.

"So, how about that drink?" Y/N questioned as Leigh nodded. The two making their way to the bar. "So what are you having?"

"A martini please." She requested as Y/N ordered a beer.

"So, why do you look like the saddest person here?" Y/N questioned as she took a sip of her beer.

"How can you tell I'm sad?" Leigh smirked as Y/N chuckled.

"Because you look sadder than I feel." Y/N smiled as Leigh sighed.

"I lost my husband a couple of years ago." Leigh spoke honestly. "I uh recently also cut ties with his brother who I had a sexual relationship with."

"Wow." Y/N whispered as Leigh chuckled.

"I know. It's messed up." She waved off as Y/N shook their head.

"No, it was just a lot to digest." Y/N told her. "We all have our different ways of grieving. You tried to move on and it just didn't work out."

"You sound like you know." Leigh chuckled as Y/N nodded.

"Well, I never lost a wife but I lost my family." She stated as Leigh gave her look of sadness. "It was about three years ago, I was on tour and we were helping the villagers with supplies and we were ambushed. None of us expected it but only a couple of us survived the ambush."

"I'm sorry." Leigh whispered as Y/N shook her head.

"It's ok." She smiled. "I was honorably discharged and now I am working as a prison guard."

"Seriously?" She questioned as Y/N nodded.

"Yeah, it's the kind of job I'm used to." Y/N shrugged as Leigh nodded. "But what I'm trying to say is that you won't be sad forever Leigh." Y/N stood up and paid for their drinks before they started to leave. Leigh jumping to her feet and following them.

"Y/N, can I see you again?" She asked with a nose scrunch.

"I would love that." Y/N smiled before writing down their number on a piece of paper from the pad in their pocket. "Text me when you get home safe." With that Y/N had left a smiling Leigh and for the first time she felt like she was genuinely happy. Like meeting Y/N was meant to be.

And so the two had conversed a lot through text a lot. Amy even had suspicions as she would see Leigh smile brightly as she typed away on her phone.

"Who have you been texting?" She questioned her daughter. "You have been smiling at your phone for over a week."

"Y/N." Leigh stated as she shrugged.

"Who is this Y/N?" Jules questioned as she joined in the conversation.

"We met last week at the bar. She bought me a drink and we just started talking." Leigh told them.

"Do you like her?" Amy questioned as Leigh laughed. "There's nothing wrong with it if you do Leigh. You deserve to be happy and if this Y/N makes you happy, go for it."

"Yeah." Leigh smiled. "Even just by text she makes everything not feel as dark anymore. I don't want to cry or scream all the time anymore."

"You're moving on." Jules smiled softly as Leigh nodded.

"I am moving on." Leigh told them both before she decided to make a bold move and ask Y/N out on their days off. "I'm going to start being the source of my own happiness."

"That's awesome." Amy smiled as she hugged Leigh. Although they all would miss Matt dearly since he was a part of their family for so many years, Leigh deserved to live a happy life out of the shadow of grief.

So she bit the bullet, asked Y/N out to go to the same bar they had met. Leigh was nervous as she stood at the bar, wearing a dark green dress as she nursed a martini, hoping to calm her nerves.

"Hey pretty lady." She heard someone speak beside her.

"I am waiting on someone." Leigh stated bluntly without sparing a glance.

"I know." Y/N smirked. "Hi." Leigh smacked her arm as Y/N just laughed at her. "But seriously, you look beautiful Leigh."

"Thank you." Leigh blushed as she ordered another drink and a beer for Y/N.

"So, you said you wanted to talk." Y/N smiled as she took a sip of her beer.

"I think I like you." Leigh blurted out. "Like a lot because I haven't this light in a very limg time and you only live once right."

"Leigh." Y/N started softly as Leigh sighed shaking her head.

"I'm sorry." She downed her drink. "I just that we may be had something special and thought I would take a leap but you don't feel the same. I get it Y/N. See you around." With that Leigh started to walk away as Y/N paid for their drinks before chasing after Leigh.

"You didn't let me finish Leigh." Y/N called after her as Leigh didn't stop running from her. Y/N reached for Leigh's wrist and turned her around to face her. Lips meeting in an unexpected kiss under the moonlight as cars passed by. Not caring about the people passing by. "I haven't stopped thinking about you since the moment we met Leigh." Y/N confessed as their foreheads rested against one another. "It's just not easy for me to show my feelings since I have been closed off for so long from everyone. Until you." Y/N gazed into her green orbs. "You make me want to be a better person than I ever was."

"You're a war hero." Leigh stated as Y/N shook her head.

"I'm barely a hero Leigh, but if you would let me, I can be your hero." Y/N spoke as Leigh chuckled. "I know. I'm a cheesy clichè."

"Yeah you are." Leigh smiled as she calmed down. "But I would love nothing more." Y/N leaned in and kissed her once more, making a silent promise to make her happy for as long as they could.

[mackiebeth]

☾main masterlist☽

*updated as of April 24, 2024

Welcome to my blog! Some of you may know me from ao3 (limarieee) or from Wattpad (mackiebeth); however, I figured I should expand my works to Tumblr. Here, you will be able to access all of my available works as they are released on the platform.

FAQ

Who even am I? That is a very good question! My name is Beth, and I am a student from the US. Given my age (18+), I advise that minors tread carefully around my content. Though I tend to stay around the 16+ range of maturity with my writing, I will state which posts are strictly NSFW (or otherwise claimed to be "minors DNI"). Purposeful avoidance of this rule will result in a ban from my blog. Otherwise, please feel free to reach out on any platform — I love to talk to everyone!

Who do I write for? I mainly write for Wanda Maximoff, but I also write for Natasha Romanoff and other Elizabeth Olsen characters. Some other characters in non-MCU fandoms I dabble with include Beca and Chloe (Pitch Perfect).

Can I request a fic? Of course! As long as my requests are open, you can send a request a fic with the aforementioned characters through this link, or down below.

REQUESTS ARE CURRENTLY: OPEN

MARVEL (MCU)

Wanda Maximoff

[click here for my wanda maximoff masterlist.]

Natasha Romanoff

Nothing to see here yet!

Elizabeth Olsen

high in your arms (*coming soon*)

lonely enough to let you treat me like this (*coming soon*)

Wanda Maximoff x Natasha Romanoff

One-shots

Series

"angels like you" masterlist → hurt/comfort & fluff

Summary: Looking forward to this moment for years, Wanda Maximoff had many feelings and anticipations regarding her transition to university: nervous, yet excited. Despite spending half of her adolescence dreaming about her time at university, she truly had no idea how it would go; however, never in her many dreams would she encounter somebody like Natasha Romanoff, her roommate, for the next year. [college roommate!au]

PITCH PERFECT

Beca Mitchell x Chloe Beale

Nothing to see here yet!

[wandabear]

Hello there!

ㅤㅤㅤ

Welcome home. First: thank you so much for reading me, means a lot.  Here you will find fics (series and oneshots) that I usually write about Elizabeth Olsen's characters and Natasha Romanoff. Gifs are mine. If you’re using them, give the cred. You can't copy or translate my works without my permission. Please, be kind. I don't write male cis het characters, minors dni.

If you like my works and wanna invite me a coffee here, that would be amazing!

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda Maximoff ᱬ ㅤㅤㅤ Natasha Romanoff ⧗

ㅤㅤㅤ Leigh Shaw

ㅤㅤㅤ Jane Banner

ㅤㅤㅤ Gerri Fields ㅤㅤㅤ Martha (Martha Marcy May Marlene)

ㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤ✨ Thank you! ✨

[yelenasdiary]

October Special Information

Okays, so after some thinking, I have decided to give something for everybody to read. So, I'm calling this 'October Special' which will include Kinktober, Flufftober & Darktober!

Below the cut, you'll find everything you need to know before sending me a request. Please read through this carefully, I know it's a long post with a fair bit of information but I'm trying to make this go as smoothly as possible for myself as the writer x.

As always, my blog is 18+ ONLY! Men & Minors, please DNI!

Requests -

~ The deadline to have requests sent is September 23rd (AEST). For anybody outside Australia, this would be September 22nd.

~ Sending a request doesn’t guarantee it will be written, I may get an overwhelming amount of requests for this & if that happens, I simply cannot write them all.

~ When sending a request, please state if you want Reader to be fem or GN! If you want Reader to have a penis in the fic, please mention if you want them to be Fem, GN or AFAB/AMAB.

Kinktober -

~ When requesting, please mark your request with "For Kinktober", if you don't I will just assume your request isn't for the event.

Here is a list of what I am comfortable with writing & what I am not comfortable writing. Please read these carefully, if you send a request that I am not comfortable with, I will delete it without an explanation.

Comfortable With: Daddy/Mommy kinks, Con Non Con, Character x Character, Character x Reader, Breeding Kink, Voyeurism, Desperation, Toys, Bondage, Double Penetration, Lactation Kink, Somnophilia, Exhibitionism. FAB! Reader with a penis and/or Character with a penis.

Not Comfortable With: Scat, Incest, Pedophilia, Character x Male Reader, Body Shaming, R*pe, Racism, Age Regression in a sexual setting.

I do not write smut for celebrity x reader. I only write smut for female fictional characters x reader.

Flufftober -

~ When requesting, please mark your request with "For Flufftober", if you don't I will just assume your request isn't for the event.

~I will write fluff for platonic, age regressed reader and family based fics! So when requesting, please state if the relationship within your idea is romantic, platonic, age regressed reader or family based (meaning Character x Sibling! Reader or Character x Daughter! Reader).

If you have any further questions, please don't hesitate to message me! x

Darktober -

~ When requesting, please mark your request with "For Darktober", if you don't I will just assume your request isn't for the event.

What I'm Comfortable With Writing: Dark Angst such as, gore, murder, kidnapping, mentions of SA, drugs, blood, childhood trauma, PTSD topics etc.

What I'm Not Comfortable With Writing: Details of r*pe. Like I mentioned above, I am fine with mentions but not detailing the event. Detailed racism, I’m okay with mentions such as “So and so was racist” & I will not write body shaming content in detail.

If you have any further questions, please don't hesitate to message me! x

Extra Details -

~ I will post a fic every Monday, Wednesday & Friday for this special, giving you all a total of 13 fics. Again, for all those outside Australia, this will be every Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday.

~ All fics will be posted at 5PM AEST. If for any reason I will be late posting, I'll make a post about it.

~ I will not have a seperate taglist for this, if you want to be tagged for any of my work, please leave a comment on THIS POST

Who I Write For -

If somebody isn’t listed here, it doesn’t necessarily mean I won’t write for them. Please remember that I DO NOT write smut for Celebrity x Reader. Smut is only for Fictional Character x Reader.

Yelena Belova (Marvel)

Wanda Maximoff // The Scarlet Witch (Marvel)

Natasha Romanoff (Marvel)

Kate Bishop (Marvel)

Agatha Harkness (Marvel)

Melina Vostokoff (Marvel)

Emily Prentiss (Criminal Minds)

Charlie Ross (The Little Drummer Girl)

Kelly Foster (We Brought a Zoo)

Jane Banner (Wind River)

Leigh Shaw (Sorry For You Loss)

Alice Chambers (Don’t Worry Darling)

Taylor Sloane (Ingrid Goes West)

Any Variant Character on THIS LIST

Florence Pugh

Elizabeth Olsen

Scarlett Johansson

+ More

With that, I can't wait to give you all something for all to read and enjoy! I'm excited to see what you guys come up with! If you have any further questions, concerns or if you're confused on anything, please don't hesitate to send me a message or ask.

[natsarrownecklacx]

Commission Information

Why Commission Me For My Work?

➳ When commissioning me for a fic it becomes my top priority for writing, alone with any other commissioned fics. 

➳ I will spend more time on commissions making sure the quality is worth commission while also, by absolute magic I swear, getting it to you faster than regular requests. 

➳ It would also help out your local Amatur Author, aka me, while I try to save for college.

Types Of Commissions I’ll Be Doing:

➳ Character x Reader Fics.

➳ Character x Character Fics.

➳ “Open When” Type Fics.

➳ Continuation of any series or one shots I've already written for.

➳ The “Open When” fics are going to be letters from a character of your choice to you on a specific time that you request. 

➳ Examples of the “Open When” fics: 

   ➳ From Natasha, open when you can’t sleep.

   ➳ From Wanda, open when you feel sick.

   ➳ From Kate, open when you need motivation.

Prices For Commissions:

➳ I chose these prices for my commissions because I want them to be affordable for everyone who may want them, while also being able to benefit from them. 

➳ Prices for basic fics: 

     ➳ 100 - 900 words - 3 euro

     ➳ 1,000 words - 5 euro

     ➳ 1,500 words - 7 euro

     ➳ 2,000 words - 10 euro

     ➳ 2,500 words - 12 euro

     ➳ 3,000 words - 15 euro 

     ➳ 3,500 words - 20 euro 

➳ Anything over 3,500 words will have to be discussed privately depending on the length of the fic requested.

➳ When choosing the length of the fic you want please consider the amount of specific details you want in the fic, a lot of specifics may need a longer fic, though I will do my best to fit all requested details into requested fic length regardless of word count. 

➳ Prices for “Open When” fics: 

➳  1,000 words - 2 euro

➳ 2,000 words - 5 euro

➳ Anything over 2,000 words can be discussed privately.

➳ The prices on these fics are different to regular fics as I feel they would be requested mostly for comfort / times when you need to hear from your comfort character and I want that to be available for anyone who would need / want it. 

➳ These fics are not restricted to purely comfort letters from a character of your choice.

➳ If personal details are wanted in the fic, Eg. Favorite food, drink, movie, song, animal ect. or any other details please add that into the request. 

Who I Write For: 

➳ Romantically: 

   ➳ Natasha Romanoff

   ➳ Wanda Maximoff

   ➳ Carol Danvers

   ➳ Kate Bishop 

   ➳ Agatha Harkness

   ➳ Yelena Belova

   ➳ Jane Banner 

   ➳ Delilah Green 

   ➳ Leigh Shaw 

   ➳ The Thirteenth Doctor 

   ➳ Missy 

   ➳ I would also write for variants of the characters listed above Eg Vampire Natasha or Venom Wanda. If you want a variant of the characters listed above just add it to your commission request and I’ll let you know if I’d be comfy writing for that specific variant.

   ➳ If there are any characters not on the list that you would like to commission a fic for send me an anon or message me and I’ll let you know if I’d be comfortable writing for them. 

   ➳ I only write for female or non binary characters romantically. I do not and will not write romantic fics with male characters.

➳ Platonically: 

   ➳ All of the characters listed above in the “romantically” section.

   ➳ Tony Stark

   ➳ Clint Barton

   ➳ Peter Parker

   ➳ Shuri

   ➳ Okoye

   ➳ Bucky Barnes

   ➳ Kamala Khan

   ➳ Rocket

   ➳ Venom

   ➳ Miles Morales

   ➳ Jeff the land shark  

➳Thor 

   ➳ If there are any characters not on the list that you would like to commission a fic for send me an anon or message me and I’ll let you know if I’d be comfortable writing for them. 

   ➳ I would also write for variants of the characters listed above Eg Vampire Natasha or Venom Wanda. If you want a variant of the characters listed above just add it to your commission request and I’ll let you know if I’d be comfy writing for that specific variant.

➳ Reader:

   ➳ Female Reader

   ➳ Gender Neutral / Non Binary Reader

   ➳ I will not write for male reader. 

What I Will Write For: 

➳ Fluff

➳ Smut 

➳ Hurt / Comfort

➳ Angst

➳ For Smut:

   ➳ Mommy Kink

   ➳ Daddy Kink

   ➳ Edging 

   ➳ Thigh Riding 

   ➳ Praise Kink

   ➳ Degrading Kink

   ➳ Orgasm Denial

   ➳ Overstimulation 

➳ Any questions don’t be afraid to ask me, I’m nice I swear :) 

➳ If there is a kink not on the list that you want to commission a fic on don’t be afraid to ask but please check what I won’t write for first to make sure its not there. 

What I Won't Write For: 

➳ Pedophilia.

➳ Incest.

➳ Necrophilia.

➳ Sexual Abuse.

➳ Graphic Violence.

➳ Male Character x Reader.

➳  If you want to commission a fic on something I haven’t listed in either the will write for or won’t write for section don’t be afraid to ask me and I’ll let you know if I’m comfortable writing for whatever it is :)

How To Commission Me:

➳ Message me directly, I’m nice I promise. That way we can talk about the length of the fic you want, what character / characters you want in the fic, the main storyline / what main points you want in the fic. 

➳ Commissions can be made through my buy me a coffee which I have linked in my navigation post.

➳ When you message me we can also talk about a realistic timeline for when you’ll get the fic.

➳ If you have any questions you want answered before making an official request my asks are always open. 

➳ Absolutely no one has permission to repost my work and claim it as their own, whether they have commissions me for the work or not. 

[taschamonnii]

Imagine This  - Sink

You x Leigh Shaw (Sorry For Your Loss - Elizabeth Olsen) 

Angst/Fluff

Summary: Anonymous asked:

TW!

Would you be able to write a Leigh Shaw x reader where the reader struggles to eat and Leigh comforts them?

It's totally fine if that goes too far and you feel uncomfortable writing this

You are married to Leigh Shaw and life has been pretty good but everyone has bad days luckily you are not alone and Leigh is the most supportive caring wife.  

TW: Eating Disorder, Struggling to eat, mental illness, depression, anxiety

Here is the title song: Suffocate by James Quick & Lauren Sanderson

Specifically “Can I justify the days I barely eat, If I starve until my cheeks can’t help but sink? How deep can I go ‘till it’s too deep? If you hear me start to choke, please reach for me.”

Read On Ao3

AN: I loved writing this thank you for the request! I hope you enjoy it. I tried not to make it too triggering to folks who struggle to eat but please read with your own mental health in mind.

Word Count: 3,028

Imagine This:

The day seemed to really drag on. There was nothing particularly good or bad about the day but you just felt off. Your motivation was lacking and you just felt low. Sadness over nothing, in particular, was seeping into your bones. You figured maybe it was hormones and tried to keep up your routines. You pushed through the day looking forward to dinner time. Leigh has been out of town all week at a writing thing with Drew but everyday she has face-timed you for dinner and you eat together and talk about the things you usually would if she was home. You miss her like crazy but she is trying to get her book published and you couldn’t be more proud. 

Married life with Leigh has been the best part of your life. You met her at a grief group two years ago and she changed your life. When your wife died in a terrible car accident four years ago you were certain that you would never love again and for sure no one could ever love you but Leigh was different. Your wife had been your high school sweetheart and was one of the only people who could handle your depression, anxiety, and your eating disorder. You are alive today because of your wife. When she died a part of you died with her you fell off the recovery wagon and lost a lot of weight really fast. Your sister-in-law was the only reason you managed to pick yourself back up enough to join a grief group and start your healthy relationship with food again. That is when you met Leigh. 

Leigh was not like the rest of the grief group; she was real and honest and raw. You quickly became friends with her and the only other widow who was your age, Becca. You became really close with Leigh and it seemed like overnight you went from friends to more and something about it just made sense. 

You never thought you would love again let alone marry again. Now you are happily married and though both you and Leigh sometimes struggle you are both there for each other and understand what the other is going through. Your relationship with food and exercise has never been better thanks to Leigh and she has never been so in touch with her own feelings. You both agreed not to think too hard about it all neither one of you was religious so it is easier to think that maybe life was just giving you both a break since you have both been dealt some shit cards. 

You are going through emails at work when your cell rings with Leigh’s ringtone. “Hello, beautiful. What’s up?” 

“Hi love, I’m at lunch and well I thought I’d call you while I can since I have to cancel our dinner call tonight.”

“What why?”

“Drew and I are having dinner with a publisher. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, that is great! No, don't apologize, Leigh, I'm excited for you! I know how long of a journey writing this book has been and I just know people are going to love it.”

“Thanks, y/n. I miss you. Ugh, I have to go, fingers crossed, this publisher wants it so I can come home tomorrow. I love you y/n!”

“I am sure they will buy it! I miss you too, be safe. I love you too. Oh and text me when you can!”

“I will! Love you, bye!”

“Love you, bye!”

You hung up and let out a heavy sigh. You were happy for Leigh but you also missed her. The rest of the day dragged on. By the time you get home, you are exhausted. The motivation to cook yourself dinner and actually eat it was beyond lacking. You wanted to go to bed, you wanted to cry and you were not entirely sure why. Instead, you forced yourself to stick to your routines. You completed a workout cleaned up around the house in hopes that Leigh would be home tomorrow. You got into comfy clothes and then found yourself repeatedly opening the fridge and cabinets trying to decide what to make yourself for dinner. 

The more you open the fridge and think about what you could eat the more the tears begin to well up in your eyes. You know you should be hungry but you aren’t. You quickly turn on your music to try and distract your mind but shuffle has decided to instead aid your mental breakdown as the familiar sad song sink begins to play and you feel the tears escape your eyes. 

The second the first teardrop falls from your cheek you take a shaky breath. You are exhausted and angry that you are struggling right now with food when it has been so long since you had an episode. You curse to yourself “I hate this I hate you why do I have to struggle with eating it’s just food! It’s just fucking food!”

The tears are now rolling down your cheeks faster than you can blink them away. Soft sobs leave your lips as you decide to just make mac n cheese because you already know you won't be able to chew for a long time without wanting to spit the food out. You get all the things you need out through your blurry teary eyes. The tears just won't stop and you are over trying to stop them. You get the stupid food done and sit down on the couch and turn on an old sitcom hoping it would bring you comfort and make eating easier. It doesn’t. Your mind races and all the things that make eating difficult for you swirl in your mind louder than the show. You take a bite of the food and quickly chew it forcing yourself to swallow. More tears fall from your eyes as a loud sob leaves you. 

You are sobbing so loudly that you don’t hear the front door open and the familiar jingle of keys. You are lost in your mind battling the voices that are telling you to throw the food away. You are crying so hard that it takes a full 2 minutes to hear your own name coming from the person that is wrapped around you. Once your brain catches up to your body and you realize you are being held by Leigh you sink into the embrace. 

“Leigh?” 

You question through a sob.

“Yes y/n. I’m here. Can you please take deep breaths with me?”

You nod your head in agreement and try to focus on the feeling of Leigh breathing while holding you tight to her chest. You realize then that the bowl of food is no longer in your hands and you grab at Leigh’s shirt and instantly feel a sense of relief fill you. You sighed out in relief as your body finally calmed down. You moved to face Leigh but kept yourself in her embrace. “I’m sorry Leigh.”

“Hey, no we don’t apologize and feel bad when we are struggling, we talk through it. What happened?”

“That’s just it. I am not sure. After you called the day just became exhausting but I was good. When I came home I stuck to the routine, I worked out but when it came to choosing food, I just lost it and started crying and that just made me more upset because it has been so long. I thought I was doing so well.”

“You are doing really well, y/n. We talked about this, bad days are going to happen and I am proud of you for fighting to stay strong. A year ago you would have gone straight to bed instead you worked out and managed to make food and it looks like you even got a couple of bites in. That is huge y/n.”

Your gaze fell to your hands still tightly clinging to Leigh’s t-shirt. You feel terrible, you are exhausted and feel weak for having a bad day. 

“Look at me y/n,” Leigh held both your cheeks in her hands and gently pulled your face up to look at her, “I am so proud of you.”

She leaned closer and pressed her lips to your forehead then each cheek and then your chin. You melted into the softness letting her words sink in and push the bad thoughts out. You moved to capture her lips in a desperate kiss. You kissed her with all the love you could give her trying desperately to say thank you with your lips. Thank you for loving me, for knowing me, for being you. You thought to yourself. You pressed closer as she melted into the kiss hoping she could feel how much you loved her. 

She pulled back slowly and rested her forehead against your “I love you too, y/n. I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Leigh so much. Wait,” you pulled back, “why are you home?”

She brushed some of your hair back behind your ear and smiled. “I was hoping to surprise you. I tried to get home before dinner but traffic was crazy. Anyway, surprise! I'm home!”

You lightly tapped her shoulder with your dominant hand and kept your other holding the end of her shirt. “Leigh, I can see that you are home. Now tell me what happened?”

Her smile grew. “Well, Sorry for Your Loss is being published!”

You could feel how big your own smile was the second she said those words. “Leigh, that is incredible! You are incredible! I can’t wait to have my own signed hard copy!”

You were so proud and happy for Leigh you couldn’t contain yourself. She has been writing this book about grief and her experience for so long and it is beautiful and real and finally, the world is going to see it. You quickly squeezed her close in a tight hug. She squeezed you back with soft laughter falling from her lips. “I have to breathe y/n.”

You loosened your grip around her but kept her in your arms “I know I’m just so happy for you! We should celebrate!”

“We can celebrate tomorrow. I don't want to push you.”

You shook your head “no Leigh I’m not letting my head win I want to celebrate how amazing my wife is.” 

She smiled softly “We can celebrate here at home. Why don’t we order in and celebrate just you and I and then this weekend we can go out with everyone to celebrate more? Please I’m tired and I missed you.”

You know what Leigh is doing. She is making it about her instead of the fact that you were literally breaking down when she got home. You sigh knowing that you won’t win this argument. You also know Leigh is right if you went out tonight you might have another breakdown. 

Her hand caressing your cheek pulls you out of your thoughts. “Please y/n.”

Her eyes are so loving that you find yourself nodding in agreement. “Okay fine, but we are definitely celebrating this weekend. I am so proud of you Leigh! I want to scream it out the windows.”

She laughed as she shook her head “I’d prefer if you are going to scream it be other things but food first.” 

Her smirk is pure evil and you can feel your entire face and neck heat up the deep red blush taking over your skin. She quickly pecked your lips before she stood up. “I missed that blush. Now, I’m gonna go change and call for the usual. You throw that away and pick a movie.”

She pointed at the now dry mac n cheese before turning towards the bedroom. You quickly cleaned up your now gross dinner and chose a movie. You settled onto the couch with a pile of blankets just as Leigh returned in a big t-shirt and her sleep shorts. You soaked her in not even caring that she was watching you stare. “Damn I missed you. Did you get more beautiful?” 

She rolled her eyes and shook her head but her smile and blush were clear as day. She moved to her bags at the front door and pulled out a bottle of champagne. Your smile fell from your lips. Leigh probably had a cute plan for tonight but had to come home to your mental breakdown instead. Guilt and shame seep into your bones as negative thoughts begin to swirl in your mind. Thoughts of how much you don’t deserve Leigh, how she deserves so much better. You feel your vision fade the world in front of you a haze as you pick at your cuticles mindlessly. You feel numb, your mind is telling you that you ruin everything and all you want to do is curl up in a ball but you can’t seem to move. 

The pop of the champagne bottle in the kitchen startles you out of your head and you try to shake it off so you don’t ruin things more. You take a deep breath and force a smile hoping that faking it till you make it will work. Leigh enters with two glasses of champagne and a soft smile. She hands you a glass and you take it. She takes a seat next to you and you both turn to face each other. You smile “Leigh I am so proud of you, I know it wasn’t easy to write but you did it and you created a masterpiece about grief and love and it, no, you are truly amazing. Cheers to you for being absolutely incredible.” 

You moved to clink your glass with hers but she stopped you. “I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you. So, cheers to the most supportive wife ever.”

Your smile softened as she clinked her glass with yours. You both took a drink and your body automatically reacted to the fizzy liquid craving more in hopes that the effect of the alcohol would clear your mind. “Hey, y/n slowdown.”

You quickly pulled the glass away from your lips and set the glass down on the coffee table. “Sorry, Leigh.”

She set her glass next to yours and turned back to you. Her hands came up to push your hair back behind your ears. She kept her hands there softly holding your face. “Talk to me, what is going on in that pretty head of yours?”

A sigh escapes you, you feel defeated like you just keep ruining everything. You close your eyes as you feel the tears welling up once again and it makes you frustrated that you are about to cry again. “Hey, it’s okay y/n.”

“No, it’s not. I ruin everything. You brought champagne home you wanted to celebrate and instead, you came home and had to console your crazy wife.”

She brushed her thumbs over your cheeks clearing the tears that escaped as you opened your eyes. “No y/n. You don’t ruin anything.” 

You shake your head as your lip quivers and you fight back more tears. “Listen to me, not the voices in your head, y/n. You are my love, my everything. I love you and you make my life worth living. Hard days are going to happen but we are in this together, right?”

You glance down, her green eyes melting your heart. She lifts your chin. “Look at me. Together?” 

You nod agreeing quickly under her serious stare. “Together.”

She leaned in and captured your lips in a hard kiss. You return it knowing she needs to make sure you understand. She pulls back after a moment and drops her hands from your face to your shoulders and pulls you into a tight embrace. “I love you, y/n.”

“I love you too.” 

She kept you in her arms and you breathed her in, calming at her familiar scent. You don’t know how long she held you like that but she only pulled away when there was a knock at the door. She pecked your cheek before going and getting the delivered food. She brought it over to the coffee table and spread the takeout containers in front of you both. You took a deep breath as you prepared to try and eat the food you usually enjoy. She turned to glance your way and noticed your hesitation. “Hey, will you give me a bite of that?”

She pointed to the container in front of you and you nodded as you picked up the container to hand it to her. She didn’t take it but instead just opened her mouth and wiggled her eyebrows. A smile took over your features in an instant. She hadn’t done this for you in so long because well you hadn’t needed her too but here she was asking you to feed her so she could then feed you like she used to like it was so natural to her. You scrunch your nose and lips as you try to contain your laughter. You quickly grabbed a fork and got some of the food on it before slowly guiding it into her mouth. She dramatically moaned out as she closed her lips around the fork and cleared it. “So good!”

She took the fork from you and scooped up a smaller portion for you, “Here try it babe it’s so good.”

You opened your mouth as she brought the food to your lips and you focused on her smile as you took the food into your mouth. You began to chew it and had to close your eyes for a second as an urge to spit it out overcame you. “Do you taste that? It’s so sweet and savory.”

You focused your attention on trying to taste it instead of the texture and sensation that stuff was in your mouth when your body didn’t want it to be there. When you finally actually tasted the food you sighed and managed to swallow it without too much of a struggle. You gave Leigh a soft smile “Thanks, Leigh.”

“Always y/n.”

A/N: I hope you liked this Anon! Again please know you are not alone sending you nothing but love and support for you to have a healthy relationship with food :) Thank you for the request. I enjoyed writing this one, it was very therapeutic. 

[maximotts]

OMG “i’ll kiss you if you want me to” and “i’m not used to being loved. i wouldn’t know what to do” mixed together with leigh… 👀 only if you want, obv :) <3!!

This was such a fun Leigh prompt!! I combined it with another one I got for her that I thought fit well so this request is a little long, but I hope y'all like it!!

❛ i’ll kiss you if you want me to. ❜ / ❛ i’m not used to being loved. i wouldn’t know what to do. ❜ / ❛ you’ve got an awfully kissable mouth. ❜ + Leigh Shaw; smut, angst that gets resolved, fluff at the end because I'm a soft bitch

1.3K words

f. scott fitzgerald prompts

Leigh squirmed under you, her back arching off the bed as you mouthed over her breasts messily. As soon as you'd undone her bra, you had a one track mind, kissing and licking over every inch of smooth skin her open flannel allowed. Impatient was an understatement with how you were marking her up, savoring how her sounds got louder the more intense you are. “Fuck, Leigh, you’re beautiful.” 

Eventually your hand slid into the front of her gym shorts, fingers teasing over where you found a damp patch of cotton. “On your way to drenching yourself already and I’ve barely touched you… Were you waiting that long for this?”

From her soft gasp, you assumed no one had talked to her like this before, the quick shake of her head confirming. The two of you had fallen into bed together multiple times, but lately things had taken a turn. Your casual dates had turned more romantic, signing your texts off with hearts and sweet goodnight messages. All of this was new for Leigh again; she’d told you all about her past relationships and it warmed her heart how understanding you’d been, never rushing her or pressing for too much. Instead you moved forward subtly, with actions rather than words, but still you always wanted her to be upfront with you. 

Part of the new actions was sex and things or the sort. She hadn’t had much experience past her previous husband; being with women was new and fun, especially with how you taught her. Leigh loved exploring new things with you, there was never a time where you shamed her for her curiosities and desires, even when you found that she liked to be teased about them. “Go on, tell me how much you wanted this.” 

“I…” Nimble fingers bypassed her underwear, rubbing over her folds while she tried to keep her composure. “I called you over just for this.” Leigh was shocked by her own confession, eyes wide as she waited for you to mock her. But it never came. Instead your lips traveled to her nipple, sucking as soon as your fingertips hit her clit and leaving her gasping for air. “Oh, please… just like that…” 

You nodded, laving over the peaked bud as your thumb moved to roll circles at the same time. It was addicting, playing her body just to watch her twist and turn and beg for you, sinking two fingers past her entrance was almost as rewarding as fucking yourself. “God, I love you.” 

“W-What?” Three simple words had her head snapping up, eyes fully focused on your now frozen form. She wasn’t prepared to hear that, had really never bargained for a romantic utterance of that phrase again for the rest of her life. Leigh didn’t hate it, she just hadn’t… thought much of it. But her reaction left you pulling away and the instant she saw hurt twist your features, she regretted selfishly leaving you hanging. “I’m not.. mad. I didn’t ask you to stop.”

“Not mad, you just don’t feel the same.” You tried to shake it off with a chuckle, but you couldn’t hide the hurt you felt. You hadn’t been saying it just to say it… You loved her. Maybe it wasn’t the right time to say it, or maybe it was just you. Maybe she only saw you as something temporary— 

“Please, don’t. Don’t do that.” Leigh pulled you back until you were hovering over her, forced to look down at pleading green eyes. It was hard to explain how she simply didn’t expect it; she felt those feelings, but had instinctively shoved them away. “I love you too, I just…”

“Just what, Leigh? You don’t have to force yourself to say it back. That’s so much worse.” You wanted to believe her, Leigh had never lied to you before; one of the things you loved about her was how honest she was with her feelings. Maybe it made her unlikeable to some, but you adored her for it. But currently, right now, she was hard to accept. 

Leigh sighed, raising her hands just to cradle your face. She could feel you pulling away mentally, your internal spiral threatening to draw you away from her for who knows how long. No matter what her insecurities, Leigh couldn’t lose you, not over her own shortcomings. “I love you. Really, I do, but I'm not used to being loved. I wouldn’t know what to do.” 

She was more out of practice with love than she was sex. True intimacy meant having more to be responsible for, much more to lose if anything went wrong. The possibility of waking up with you not in her life any more scared her more every day, having grown to look forward to your goofy selfies and tight hugs; Leigh wasn’t stupid, she knew what that meant. “I don’t think I’m good at being loved, or loving people well. Sometimes I ask for too much or I’m selfish and I don’t, I can’t hurt you.”

“You could never hurt me.” You leaned down just enough to nose at her chin, just trying to remind yourself that she was real, she wasn’t rejecting you, and this was just another conversation you needed to have. “I can’t think of a time where you ever felt me feel uncared for, even on your worst days. Give yourself more credit.” She wound her arms around your waist, pulling you until you had to lay on her; all she needed was to feel your weight grounding her. Sometimes Leigh needed a physical anchor during serious discussions, good or bad, and you were always happy to provide. “Tell me how you need to be loved and I swear I’ll do everything to never make you think loving you could ever be a burden.”

You flipped the two of you so she could lay on your chest; Leigh yelped with the sudden change, but she understood. Just like she needed to feel grounded, you liked being able to hold her whenever you were at risk of spiraling too deep into your own brain. As soon as Leigh got her bearings, she clung to you like a koala, trying to hold you in place just in case you decided you’d rather leave. As much as she was known for expressing how she felt, this was completely different, vulnerable in a way she hadn’t had a chance to prepare for. The only bit she could offer was small, just a minor thing where, if denied, she could force herself to smile through it. “I like kisses… I feel like we don’t kiss enough.”

It was true, you had a thing about kisses. To you, they were more intimate than most acts and while you’d often give her a quick peck on the cheek goodbye, it was granted her a full kiss— those you held close to your heart. But you loved her, she loved you.. that came with trusting her to value what those kisses meant to you. “I’ll kiss you if you want me to.”

Leigh smiled, nodding eagerly, “I really want you to kiss me, right now.” Green eyes stared down at you, hoping she hadn’t missed her chance from earlier. She couldn’t remember the last time she wanted something so simple so badly, but right now it was important. Every day you proved you loved her and today you'd said it; it was her turn to show it back now. “I love you. Please kiss me.”

She wasn’t an easy girl to crack, but you didn’t love her because she was easy. You loved her because she was human, missteps, fears, and all. Closing the distance was easy, just a few inches separating you, and when you kissed Leigh now, it felt like the first time you ever did. You kissed to convey emotions and thankfully, you had so many for the woman laying on you. “You’ve got an awfully kissable mouth.” 

[somewhatgreatexpectations]

Leave, Then Go (Wanda Maximoff/ Reader)

Hello! Soooo... I did a thing. 

The response was positive, so I went with it. Double Lizzie! Excited to present you with the Wanda/ Leigh crossover! Let me know what you think, I’m actually excited about this!

Summary: Y/n works on mending bridges with Leigh when she meets the alluring Wanda Maximoff. 

After waiting for what felt like hours, the woman you were waiting for finally appeared. You scrambled to your feet as you rushed forward to meet her. Concern immediately took precedent when you were able to fully take in her appearance. 

She looked like a ghost of who she used to be. Beautiful, but void of life. 

The bags under her eyes were prominent and the naturally glimmering emerald eyes that you used to love were dull. Empty. Dark like a storm rather than bright like the sea. Her shoulders were slumped forward with the weight of life when she used to stand so tall before.

It was as though she had been drained of all the light that she used to radiate.

Guilt clawed angrily at your chest. “Leigh.” You breathed out, swallowing down the lump in your throat. 

When she met your eyes, her expression hardened. That was always a special talent of hers. Making you feel small with just a look. “What are you doing here?” 

“Hi Y/n. You look good. Thanks, I did start running again. Green juice, it does wonders.” You sarcastically began a conversation with yourself. If her defense mechanism was being cold, yours was humor. 

Leigh wasn’t amused by your antics in the slightest.

If looks could kill you’d be six feet under now. “What are you doing here?” She repeated in annoyance, heavily emphasizing every word. 

Everything about her posture screamed impatience. “I-I wanted to check on you sooner. I did.” You fearfully watched a disbelieving smile spread across her lips. You knew that look. She was about to tear you apart. “I know! I know. I’m way too late and I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Leigh.” You rushed out, the words clumsily stumbling over one another as they tumbled from your lips. They were sincere though. You hoped she knew that.

“That’s not good enough.” The bite of her words made you flinch. Leigh moved to step around you, but you caught her arm.

You dropped your hand when you noticed her eyes fall to the place you made contact. “I know it’s not.” A heavy sigh escaped your lips. “By the time I heard the news, it had been months. Then it took me months to work up the courage to see you again… The last time we saw each other wasn’t exactly a… fond memory.”

Leigh’s eyes began analyzing you critically. You shifted uncomfortably under the weight of her gaze. “I needed you, Y/n. I needed you and you weren’t there.” Her eyes began to shine slightly with unshed tears.

The shame you felt made it impossible to maintain eye contact with the woman before you. “I know.” You whispered. “And I’m sorry, Leigh. Truly. I am. If you allow me, I’d like to earn your forgiveness. Your trust. To prove I can be there for you and be the friend you need.”

“Friend?” Leigh raised an eyebrow as she loosely crossed her arms. “If my memory serves me correctly that’s the reason you weren’t there in the first place.”

You awkwardly rubbed your arm. “Yes. Friend. I can do that. I can be that for you… If you give me the chance.”

Leigh stared at you intently, her eyes searching yours, for what you didn’t know. “No more grand declarations or ultimatums?” 

“No grand declarations or ultimatums.” You repeated as you smiled hesitantly back at her. 

You desperately tried to beat back the memory that lingered at the forefront of your mind. Of tear stained cheeks and white dresses.

After a tense moment of silence, Leigh nodded. “Probation.” She warned simply with a point of her finger as she moved around you to go into her house.

To say you were surprised would be an understatement. You expected her to tear you apart. Scream at you until she was blue in the face. “I’ll call you?” You called after her unsurely. “We can get coffee?”

“Mmm.” Leigh hummed flippantly over her shoulder, barely audible as she closed the door behind herself.

With a small smile you turned and began walking back in the direction of your own apartment. The conversation had gone better than you had dared to hope it would. Leigh could be cruel when she was hurt, and you knew you had hurt her. Leaving the conversation unscathed felt like nothing short of a miracle. 

___________________________

Lying awake in bed later that night, your mind couldn’t help but wander to Leigh. Not that those thoughts were anything out of the ordinary. Seeing her today though made you worry even more than usual. 

Hey. I don’t know if this is still

your number. It’s Y/n. 

Read 12:14 a.m

You watched the bubble appear and disappear at the bottom of the screen several times before your phone chimed with a reply. 

Is this a booty call?

Sent 12:19 a.m.

What? No! I just wanted

to check on you.

Read 12:20 a.m.

Surprising. 

Sent 12:21 a.m.

Surprising that it’s not

a booty call or surprising

that I’m checking on you?

Read 12:22 a.m.

You tell me.

Sent 12:22 a.m.

I really did want to check

on you, Leigh.

Read 12:24 a.m.

I’m fine. Goodnight.

Sent 12:25 a.m.

Goodnight, Leigh. I’ll be at 

Coffee Code tomorrow morning doing 

some work if you want to stop by.

Read at 12:26 a.m.

After a few minutes of silence, it was clear she wasn’t going to reply, so you allowed your eyes to close as you drifted into a restless sleep. Still haunted by the image of white dresses and tear stained cheeks. 

___________

The bustle of the early morning crowd at the local coffee shop was always a place of serenity for you. The sounds of everyone around you going on with their lives was calming white noise to you and made doing tasks easier. 

“Excuse me?” You looked up and smiled slightly, actually surprised that Leigh had taken you up on your offer. “Do you mind if I sit here with you? It’s pretty crowded.”

Relief was your initial response to seeing her. There was still sorrow in her eyes, but the resentment she regarded you with yesterday had faded. There was an air of shyness that she carried that was unfamiliar to you. 

Leigh was many things but timid was not one of them. “Of course not, I did invite you after all.” 

Her head tilted slightly, and her movements became hesitant as she sat across from you. “I’m sorry?” 

Nerves forced you to look away from her and fiddle with the cup of coffee before you. “Last night? I really was trying to check on you.” The smooth porcelain under your fingers distracted you from seeing the way the woman before you watched you with confusion. “You look beautiful today by the way.” 

Regret flooded your racing mind as soon as the words fell from your lips. The compliment was definitely overstepping the boundaries of friendship. 

A light blush spread across Leigh’s cheeks at your words. Odd. Leigh usually dismissed your compliments or rolled her eyes. “Um…” The other woman’s nose scrunched slightly. “I think you may have me confused with someone else.”

You weren’t sure what game she was playing, and it put you on edge. “Leigh, it’s obviously you.”

“I’m sorry. I’m not your friend. My name is Wanda.” The woman informed you shyly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Your eyes widened in disbelief. This woman was the spitting image of Leigh. It wasn’t Leigh though. That much became clear the more you observed her.

For the first time since she sat down you were able to detect the subtle differences. Wanda’s hair was just a shade darker. The make-up she wore was just a tad more noticeable. The many rings stacked on her fingers were accessories that Leigh would never wear. 

More importantly, the way she carried herself. It was heavy and timid but lighter than Leigh. Something about Wanda reminded you of breaches of sunlight breaking through storm clouds rather than the perpetual storm that Leigh carried. The storm that always seemed to be moments away from sweeping you away. 

Wanda was beautiful. Obviously. She was beautiful in a way that was different than Leigh even though they looked identical. There were no sharp edges to her beauty. It was soft. Like the first break of day. Leigh’s beauty was all sharp edges threatening to cut you to your core at every turn. 

You didn’t know Wanda, but you wanted to.

“I’m so sorry!” You quickly apologized when you realized you had been spacing out. “I must have made you so uncomfortable! It’s just that you look exactly like my friend and she makes me nervous so I didn’t even notice the difference at first. You could be her twin-” Your nervous ramblings were cut short by a hand being placed over your own. 

Wanda smiled slightly and all you could do was cover your face in embarrassment. She must think you’re a psychopath. “It’s okay…” She trailed off and raised her eyebrows in an unspoken question.

It didn’t take long for you to catch on. “Oh! My name is Y/n.” You shook your head as you humiliated yourself even more with each passing minute. “I’m so embarrassed.”

The melodic sound of her laughter drifted into your ears causing your stomach to flip. “Don’t worry. I think it’s cute.” Your cheeks burned at her words. The chime of her phone interrupted the moment as she finally pulled her hand back. 

A small frown tugged at the corner of her lips as she read over the message on her phone. “Not to over step, but is everything okay?”

“Yes. I just need to leave now unfortunately.” You noticed an almost undetectable accent framed her words. The accent just made her all the more alluring to you. “Do you think I could have your number?” She asked shyly as she tugged at the sleeves of her sweater.

Without hesitation, you scrambled to find a pen and a loose scrap of paper to write your number on. “Here you go.” You both shared bashful smiles when your hands grazed one another.

With a small wave, and a soft smile Wanda turned to leave. “I’ll call you.” Excitement bubbled in your chest at the thought as you dreamily watched her walk out of the coffee shop.

“Okay. Am I going to regret coming?” You jumped at the unexpected appearance, causing you to spill your coffee. You mumbled several choice expletives under your breath as you desperately attempted to salvage the papers that you had spent the entire morning working on. 

Realizing that the attempts were futile you crumpled the papers and focused on drying the table. “We’re off to a great start already.” You heard Leigh sarcastically muse from her place across from you.

Nerves bloomed in your chest, knowing it was actually Leigh sitting across from you. You treaded forward cautiously. “S-sorry. I’m glad you made it out, Leigh. It’s good to see you.” You stuttered out. 

“I would ask how the coffee is, but it looks like the table would know more than you would.” Even more sarcasm. Definitely Leigh. Like you had noted when Wanda was there, Leigh was all sharp edges.

At the thought of Wanda, you leaned forward, pretending to not notice the way Leigh’s aloof attitude faltered slightly. “Do you have a twin?”

A dry laugh fell from Leigh’s lips. More controlled than Wanda’s. “What? Are you on drugs?” 

“I think I may have just met your twin.”

Leigh’s stare became cautious when she realized you weren’t joking.

There it is! Debating making this into a series. If I did should Wanda have powers or should she just be a normal person? Also how does the title Love Me (Or Let Me Go) sound? :) Let me know what you all think, I’m excited to hear back from you all! Thoughts and comments always welcome!

[graciesstrap]

Welcome to my blog!

About me:

my name is laura and i‘m 20 years old. I’m a lesbian! my mbti type is infp. I’ll write mostly smut, but feel free to sent me some request’s if y’all are craving something different :)

Rules:

no hate! only critic!

be nice in the comments:)

minors are not allowed on this blog

Masterlist:

smut: ☆ fluff: ♡ angst: ❀

Gracie Abrams:

Olivia Rodrigo:

Sabrina Carpenter:

Taylor Swift:

Madison Beer:

________________________

don’t copy, translate or steal my work and claim it as yours!

[randomshyperson]

Main Masterlist - All Works

Welcome to my blog! Here you can access all my published work on Tumblr. You might wanna check my AO3 and Wattpad as well, I strongly recommend reading the series on AO3 because it's easier.

Who do I Write for?

This blog is dedicated to Wanda Maximoff and Elizabeth Olsen Characters. Also includes other female characters from Marvel such as Natasha Romanoff and Carol Danvers. On my secondary blog (MarySandBox) I write about other fandoms and characters that also contain reader inserts and/or couples.

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Last update: 15-03-2024

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What happened to my Wattpad? I abandoned the site because my stories continue to be reported by bots and deleted by moderation, and it is very tiring work that exhausts my patience. The only reason for uploading to that site was to avoid plagiarism, but apparently, the moderation gave the reason to the plagiarists instead of the original creators, so I left the site. My fics will only be posted/updated on A03 and Tumblr.

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Masterlist Per Fandom

Marvel Universe Masterlist

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Alternative Universe (High School/College)

Canon Divergence

Other Alternative Universe

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Canon Divergence Works

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Leigh Shaw x Reader

Palm Springs

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Cold Hands and Warm Lips

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The NSFW Alphabet Challenge

Kinktober [22] | [23]

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[ginnsbaker]

fic: if i bleed (you'll be the last to know) (13/?)

Part Summary: “I love you, Leigh,” you declare, the words tumbling out almost uncontrollably. Ever since you stepped off that plane and your feet touched back on home ground, you've been aching to say it. Her eyes turn steely, the brief flicker of doubt swallowed up by resolve. “You say that now,” Leigh counters, her laugh dark and hollow. “But I'm not easy. Loving me might just kill you.”

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x Fem!Reader | Word count for this part: 5.900+ | Warnings: Some angst | Author's note: I think there will be just 2-3 more chapters before we close this book. Just fyi!

Masterlist | Part I Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII

-

When you finally stir awake, the room is washed in a soft morning light. Beside you, Leigh is already up, sitting on the edge of the bed in yesterday’s clothes. Her hair is pulled back casually, a few strands hanging loose, looking a bit disheveled but still unintentionally perfect—or perhaps that's just your infatuation speaking in the early morning haze. But you can't help yourself.

“Morning,” you mumble, voice gravelly from sleep, as you try to tame your own bedhead. You're still barely clothed under the thin covers in contrast to Leigh’s state of fully dressed. The realization makes you blush, remembering last night’s affairs. Subconsciously, you pull the covers tighter around your body, a wave of shyness washing over you. 

“Hey,” Leigh whispers in return, giving you a small smile.

You prop yourself up on your elbows, feeling a pleasant ache in your inner thighs and back. “What time is it?” you ask, glancing around, trying to determine the time based solely on the sunlight filtering through the windows.

“It's still early,” she says, checking her phone. “But I've been up for a bit.”

You notice the creases in her clothes, evidence of a night spent on your floor. She seems a bit distant this morning, thoughtful, like she's already planning her day.

“You could have woken me,” you say, letting a small, teasing smile play across your lips.

Leigh shakes her head. “You were sleeping so soundly, I didn't want to wake you,” she says, her eyes holding yours for a moment longer than necessary. There's a warmth there, but also something you can't quite read.

“But I did make coffee,” she offers, tilting her head toward the kitchen. Her eyes land on the pile of your clothes scattered on the floor, remnants of just a few hours earlier. She clears her throat and her cheeks color a little as she says, “I'll let you get dressed first then.” Without another word, she heads back to the kitchen.

You grab some clothes and quickly dress, and then a thought hits you. Was Leigh watching you sleep? The idea makes you a bit giddy, flipping a fluttery feeling through your stomach. It's strange to think about, but also kind of endearing. Her sticking around this morning feels like a small victory. Being with Leigh felt good, but you weren’t sure what to expect at sunrise. 

In the kitchen, you watch Leigh move with an easy familiarity, exploring the cabinets and figuring out where things are stashed. She quickly locates the mugs right above the coffee brewer, grabs two, and sets them down on the counter.

“How do you take yours?” she asks, her hand hovering over the sugar and cream.

You shrug. “Two creams, two sugars?”

Leigh is meticulous, measuring each spoonful of sugar, ensuring there's just the right amount of room for cream. Every small adjustment she makes for your preference makes your heart skip. You’re touched by the simple fact that she cares enough to know and remember exactly how you like it.

You realize, not for the first time, but perhaps the most profoundly, that you’re falling in love with her. You have been for some time now, but this morning it feels like the descent down a rollercoaster—fast, exhilarating, and a little bit terrifying. There's no slowing down or stopping it; you just have to close your eyes and hold on for dear life.

As you both sip your coffee, you find yourself easing into the comfort of small talk, curious about Leigh's return to working at The Beautiful Beast. She mentioned needing to help her mom out, especially after a few recent resignations—a situation you understand all too well from your own experiences with running a business and the never-ending struggles of hiring staff and managing them.

While part of you listens, another part is preoccupied with thoughts of last night. You want to delve into what happened, to ask if she enjoyed herself, and to apologize for not being more assertive. You want to confirm what it means for both of you, but the thought makes your hand tremble slightly around your coffee mug.

Before you can gather your courage, Leigh’s phone vibrates loudly on the table. She checks it and her expression tightens. “I need to go,” she says suddenly, standing up. 

You automatically stand up too, but without a clear next move, you find yourself frozen, waiting for something to happen. Both of you are just standing there—Leigh figuring out how to leave, and you, how to say goodbye.

Then, as if deciding for both of you, Leigh steps forward and gives you a quick peck on the lips. “I’ll see you later,” she says.

“Bye,” you reply, a bit dazed as you watch her grab her things and leave. 

You touch your lips, feeling the ghost of Leigh’s quick kiss, an electric zip that lingers like the aftertaste of strong coffee. You’ve seen Leigh in nothing but shadows and moonlight, felt the undeniable press of her bare skin against yours, but the shock of her kiss never dulls. It’s a bit like being struck by lightning—no matter how many times it happens, you never get used to the jolt.

-

Sara sits confidently across from you, dressed in a black turtleneck and slacks, attire appropriate for a formal interview. Earlier, she mentioned she's finishing her thesis and is interested in a part-time job that can accommodate her academic commitments, which seems ideal. However, the situation is far from perfect. Ideally, hiring someone you once found attractive isn't the best practice, but she's the only applicant who has responded to your job postings so far.

Feeling her eyes fixed on you, you fiddle with the sleeves of your coat while reviewing her résumé. Between you is a history as transient as a wisp of smoke but clear nonetheless. You’d almost ventured into something with her after a lonely night spent swiping through an app you swore off a dozen times before. And with the recent memory of Leigh leaving your apartment still vivid in your mind, you question whether considering Sara for the job is the right decision.

“So?” Sara ventures after you've been quiet for a while. You feel your cheeks warm with a blush, realizing you've been stalling. Forcing yourself, you tear your eyes away from her rather impressive qualifications.

Letting out a sigh, you set down your glasses, rubbing the bridge of your nose. “Honestly, this just doesn't feel serious,” you confess. “I keep expecting Suzie to pop out with her phone, recording this whole thing as a prank.”

Sara's laughter spills out, rich and melodious. It’s infectious, and after a while you find yourself chuckling too.

“I promise, I'm serious,” she assures you, still smiling. She leans forward, her voice dropping to almost a whisper. “Look, our history was brief. We didn’t really date, we just met that one time—”

“Twice,” you interrupt, unable to resist correcting her.

Her smile broadens. “—outside of the app. We can be friends, forget all that other stuff, okay?”

You consider her words, searching her face for any sign of discomfort or hesitation. Finding none, you ask, “And that won’t be weird for you?”

“Not at all,” she replies confidently, her head shaking slightly. “And… if you're alright with just part-time for now?”

“Yeah, I can manage reception on my own some days,” you say. But there's another nagging thought that won't let you go. 

Sara quickly catches on to your dithering. “What is it?” 

“It's just... aren't you worried this job is a bit beneath you? You're chasing an MBA. Wouldn’t you rather find something more aligned with your degree?” you ask. 

She leans back, her eyes narrowing slightly in thought. “I’ve considered that,” she says slowly, “but right now, the flexibility this job offers is what I need most. And honestly, I believe in what your clinic is doing—it's a good place to be, even if it’s just a stop along the way.”

You smile at that, genuinely touched by her kind words about your establishment and the work you do. 

“Alright, then, I just have one more question to, uh, make this official,” you say, shuffling the papers in front of you. “You've got impressive organizational skills and a solid background in customer service. How do you think these will help you in a medical office setting?”

Sara doesn’t hesitate, her answer ready almost before you've finished speaking.

-

“Are we sure it's okay to leave Sara by herself while we grab lunch?” you ask, a slight frown forming as you think about what might need handling while you're gone.

Suzie gives you a reassuring smile as she slings her purse over her shoulder. “She’ll be fine. It’s usually quiet around this time, and I’ve given her a rundown of the essentials. Plus, she knows she can text me if anything comes up.”

You can't shake off a sliver of worry, knowing how overwhelming the first day can be. “Alright,” you say, still unconvinced but trusting Suzie’s judgment. “Let’s make it quick then.”

The two of you make your way to a charming little café tucked around the corner. It's a snug nook, celebrated for its hearty sandwiches and home-cooked soups. As you walk, the idea of bringing Leigh here bubbles up in your thoughts—she'd appreciate their renowned kale soup, you reckon.

As you line up to order, Suzie nudges your shoulder lightly. “So, not weird at all hiring an old flame?” she teases.

You roll your eyes. “It's strictly professional. And technically, we never really dated. We just… hung out.”

“Yeah, you hung her out to dry.”

“I’m still your boss for the next two weeks,” you remind her jokingly.

Suzie smirks and raises her hands in mock surrender. “Okay, okay, boss. I'll behave.”

“But seriously, you can't tease me about Sara anymore because, you know…I'm with Leigh now,” you say, looking down at your feet, hiding your grin.

Suzie turns to you, her eyes widening. “Oh. When did this happen?” she asks, her tone noticeably flat. You were expecting her to be more excited about the news.

Your spirits dip a little at Suzie's lackluster reaction. You straighten up and decide to share the brief version of your reunion with Leigh. As you recount the events to Suzie, you keenly watch her reactions, hoping for a clue into her thoughts. You mention forgiving Leigh and how, after forgiveness was exchanged, Leigh kissed you. Throughout your story, Suzie's expression remains unreadably neutral. 

When you finish, she finally speaks, “Honestly, I'm happy for you. Just make sure you're both on the same page.”

“She did stay until morning,” you tell Suzie, feeling a need to convince her—and maybe yourself—that this is significant. After all, someone making you coffee in the morning has to mean something, right?

“Okay, that’s definitely a good sign,” she says with cautious optimism. “But have you guys talked about what this all means? Like, are you actually together now or what?”

The reality of her question gradually settles on you after a few moments. “We haven't really defined anything,” you admit.

Suzie heaves a sigh just as it's her turn to order. She picks a dark chocolate frappuccino and a salmon bagel, loaded with extra cream cheese, then drifts off to a corner to wait while you place your order. As you step up to the counter, you realize you’ve lost your appetite. You settle for an Americano and a mixed bowl of fruit to go. When your food and drinks are ready, you both head to a corner booth by the window.

Suzie, picking up on your nervousness, advises, “Just take things slow, okay?”

You murmur a noncommittal, “Mhm,” your thoughts adding, Too late for that. The two of you eat in silence until the chime of a text notification breaks through—from Leigh.

You can feel Suzie’s curious gaze at you while you read Leigh’s text:

[12:33 PM] Leigh: Thanks for last night

You hover over the keypad, unsure how to respond.

You’re welcome?

The pleasure was all mine?

You shake your head, cringing at your own thoughts. Suzie catches your expression and squints at you. “Everything alright?” she asks.

“It’s Leigh,” you mumble, glancing briefly from your phone to meet Suzie’s questioning look.

“What did she say?”

Instead of explaining, you tilt your phone towards Suzie, letting her read the message herself. A few seconds later, a knowing smirk forms on her face. 

“She’s playing it safe,” Suzie concludes.

Your phone pings again, making you jump. Almost fumbling it, you quickly check the new message and read it aloud:

[12:34 PM] Leigh: Hey, quick question. What dog shampoo would you recommend? Logan's perfumed smell doesn't really last long.

“She's playing it way too safe,” Suzie remarks, clicking her tongue in disapproval.

Ignoring Suzie, you quickly type back, suggesting a favorite of yours, and include a link to an online store. 

[12:35 PM] You: Try this one <link>. It's hypoallergenic and it should keep Logan smelling fresh longer than the others I've tried.

After sending the message, you look up to find Suzie still wearing a small smile.

“What a bunch of modern idiots,” she murmurs, loud enough for you to hear, before taking a hearty sip from her drink.

You and Leigh continue texting about Logan and his needs. She mentions she'll drop by tomorrow to pick up his supplies. You keep to yourself that you're already planning to gather everything and surprise her by dropping it off at her place—an excuse to see her again.

-

You leave the clinic early, gripping a bouquet of flowers in one hand and Logan’s bag of supplies in the other. Since that lunch with Suzie, you've been introspective and quiet, wrestling with the idea that she might be right about defining your relationship with Leigh. You realize you're already in too deep, weary of assumptions and the uncertainty of not knowing where you stand with her.

Expecting to find Leigh at her mom's fitness studio in the late afternoon, you make your way there.

But she isn't there.

“Oh, hi, Y/N,” Jules greets you from behind the reception desk. She's busy wiping down the counter and sorting through stacks of folders—membership forms that appear to have accumulated over the past few years.

“Is Leigh around?” you ask, scanning the mostly deserted area. Your eyes sweep past the maintenance staff quietly going about their cleaning, but there’s no sign of Leigh.

You miss the brief flicker of discomfort that crosses Jules's face at the mention of her sister. “Leigh's probably at home,” Jules says evenly, going back to her task. “She takes every Tuesday off.”

While you’re still distracted (and a little disappointed), Jules notices the bouquet you’re holding.

“Are those for her?” she asks.

You give the bouquet of red Chrysanthemums a slight wave, then a bit sheepishly, you nod and confirm, “Yeah.”

“That's sweet, Y/N,” Jules comments, her lips curving slightly.

She seems to expect you to leave since Leigh isn't around, but instead, you take a seat on one of the stools at the reception.

“How are you, by the way?” you ask, flashing a warm smile at her. You lean your arms on the counter and start drumming your fingers, genuinely interested in her response.

“You sure you wanna hang around? Leigh hates waiting for anyone,” she says. Though her words are light, there’s a shadow behind them that yanks your attention. 

“Is everything okay? I mean, with you and Leigh?” you ask cautiously. Jules doesn’t speak for a moment too long, and you nearly backtrack, thinking maybe a lighter topic might salvage the awkward silence. 

But just as you’re about to pivot, she blurts out, “I moved out recently.”

You gawk at her, surprised by the sudden confession. Jules notices your open-mouthed shock and it almost coaxes a laugh from her. She's somewhat entertained by your astonishment but also touched that you cared enough to ask. Inside, she’s glad she secretly cheered for you over Danny.

“I know, right? Bet you didn't see that coming,” she says with a wry smile. 

“Moving out is definitely a big step,” you reply, “but uh, you kind of didn’t really answer my question there.”

Jules chuckles and rounds the counter to sit beside you. “No,” she says flatly, her expression sobering as she sits beside you. “And honestly, I'd rather not hash out my issues with Leigh unless it's with my therapist. Talking about it just feels like letting her win somehow.”

She lets out a deep breath, her gaze drifting away momentarily. “And no, I didn't plan on moving out. I just got tired of being treated like crap by my own family.” 

Jules starts picking at the edge of the counter before she looks up. She had mentioned not wanting to discuss it, but somehow, she finds it easy to open up to you.

“I mean, obviously, we're not related by blood,” she continues, “and yeah, it's the 21st century—being adopted shouldn't be a big deal, right? But even though it's common, it doesn't make me feel any more part of the family, any less like an outsider. I feel like an eternal letdown, like I'm always just shy of what they hoped I'd be.”

“What exactly are they hoping for?” you ask softly.

Jules shrugs, her eyes darting away as she wraps her arms around herself protectively. “I don't really know. It's more of an outline than a shape.”

You think about her words for a moment before adding your two cents. “Could it be that maybe some of this pressure is self-imposed? Maybe you're the one filling in the blanks with what you think they expect of you? It's okay just to be yourself, you know. You don't have to be everything to everyone, and that’s perfectly fine,” you say.

Jules nods slowly, her gaze fixed on some distant point. Then, quietly, almost a whisper, she adds, “It's tough, especially with my…you know…past drinking problem. Even though I've been clean for months, it feels like I'm always on trial, always having to prove I’m better now. And when I slip up, even just a little…” her voice falters, “I just... I imagine what they must think of me, if they—”

“If they love you any less for it?” you interject gently.

Her eyes snap back to yours, slightly wet and reddened. Instinctively, you reach out for her hand. Jules grasps it in return, and you give her hand a comforting squeeze.

“I don't really know Leigh in terms of family stuff,” you say, shifting uncomfortably on your stool as you choose your words carefully. “And maybe you've got it right, Jules. But then again, maybe not. See, when we really care about someone, we tend to put them on a pedestal, root for them so hard that sometimes, without even realizing it, we might push them a bit too much.”

You let the thought sit for a while, then continue, your own quandaries weaving into your speech. “Maybe it's best if you talk to Leigh about this... I mean, personally, I need to talk to Leigh about something too. I want to stop assuming things and thinking my perspective is the whole reality. We all do it, don’t we? Set traps for ourselves with our own expectations and assumptions.”

Jules sniffles, manages a faint smile, and discreetly wipes away a tear with her pinkie. Then, unexpectedly, she leans forward and hugs you, her head resting snugly against your cheek. You return the embrace, gently rubbing her back in random circles.

When she steps back, there's a new light of recognition in her eyes. 

“You remind me of Matt.”

You're not sure if that's a flattering comparison or not. You did connect with Matt, after all, not because you were opposites that attracted, but because you saw parts of yourself reflected in him—similar interests, similar ways of thinking.

You can’t help but ask, “How so?”

“Matt always played mediator between Leigh and me. Oddly enough, we both really listened to him, took his opinions to heart. He had this wisdom, you know?” She stops for a second, her expression clouding over. “Which really threw me when I found out about some of the... stupid choices he made.” She gestures towards you apologetically, adding, “No offense.”

“None taken,” you assure her quickly with a lopsided smile.

“Yeah, Matt was that person in the family who really saw everyone, who tried to knit us all together. I miss him,” Jules says wistfully. She looks past your shoulder, into the distance, as if she's seeing his ghost. You don’t look behind you. You can see his ghost in her eyes clearly.

Jules continues, “And whatever went down with Leigh, I don’t think it was all his fault. Leigh... she can be challenging to love sometimes. Oh god, that sounds awful, doesn’t it? I’m sorry.”

You shake your head, understanding what she means more than she might think. “It's okay, Jules. It's hard, loving people isn't always straightforward or easy. They say love brings out the best in us, but often, it brings out the worst.”

“It’s like I can hear Matt talking, but in a female voice,” Jules jokes, returning to her post. “Anyway, are you and my sister finally going out?”

“That’s what I’m hoping to find out soon,” you say, gesturing to the bouquet you're holding. You feel a bit forward buying flowers for a girl, especially since you don’t even know what Leigh's favorite flowers are—or if she likes them at all.

Jules gives you a mischievous grin and says, “Well, good luck with that. For what it's worth, I don't think Leigh dumped Danny for nothing. She seems to really like you.”

“Thanks, that means a lot,” you say, feeling a bit more buoyed as you rise from your seat. 

With a final nod to Jules, you head out, the bouquet of flowers in hand feeling less silly and more like a talisman as you drive straight to Leigh's house.

-

You pull into the driveway of the Shaw residence, your hands gripping the steering wheel a tad too tightly. The bouquet of flowers sits next to you, a daunting shade of red against the gray upholstery, and Logan’s supplies are carefully arranged in the backseat. You mentally rehearse your opening line to Leigh, hoping the surprise might soften the ground for the conversation that needs to follow.

You ring the doorbell and wait, shifting from foot to foot, your hand gripping the stem of the flowers a little too tightly while your other arm cradles the box containing Logan’s things. But when the door swings open, it's not Leigh who greets you.

“D-Danny,” you stammer, the subtle smile on your lips completely falling away.

What is he doing here?

Danny looks equally unenthused to see you. “Hey,” he replies, his eyes briefly dropping to the flowers before meeting yours again. “Looking for Leigh?”

Before you can respond, Leigh appears behind him. Her face emerges as she peers at you over his shoulder, his towering height partially obstructing your view of her. She looks utterly surprised to see you at her doorstep, giving you the impression that she wasn't expecting you and maybe you shouldn't be here at all.

“I… I thought of bringing Logan’s supplies now since I’m free, but… yeah, I should probably go—”

“Danny was just leaving,” Leigh announces abruptly.

You find yourself frozen, rooted to the spot as you turn to face her. Danny looks poised to object, but Leigh fixes him with a look. It's enough. His defiance melts into resignation, his shoulders dropping slightly as he exhales a heavy sigh.

“Fine,” he grumbles, “I'll call you later, Leigh.” He stalks off without waiting for a reply.

You’re still looking at the ground, the front door cracked open, a draft passing in between you and Leigh as you stand on her doorstep.

What was Danny doing here? You can't seem to shake it off.

Leigh reaches out and gently touches your elbow, nudging you inside. “Come in,” she murmurs, leading you past the threshold.

Inside, Leigh takes the box of supplies from your hands. She starts sorting through it, tossing a casual “Thanks” over her shoulder as she examines the contents. Her focus is entirely on Logan’s needs until she looks up and spots the bouquet you’re still hanging onto.

Your cheeks flush as her gaze shifts to the flowers. You had fantasized about a dazzling smile breaking across her features at the sight. Instead, Leigh’s expression tightens with skepticism, her eyes narrowing slightly as she regards the bouquet. 

“Flowers?” Leigh inquires uncertainly.

It's not the response you'd imagined, and you suddenly find yourself scrambling for an explanation, the bouquet feeling unexpectedly cumbersome in your grasp.

“I, uh, passed by a flower shop,” you start, fiddling with a petal as you concoct a small white lie. “I bought some for myself and figured, since I was coming over with Logan's supplies, maybe you'd like some too.”

You've both seen each other naked just hours ago, yet somehow that doesn't seem to matter now. This doesn't feel any easier than before you slept together. 

“They are pretty,” she says, accepting the flowers. She looks around for a moment. “I'll find a vase for these.”

Relieved she's accepted them, you seize the opportunity to change the topic. You're on the verge of asking why Danny was just here, but to your own surprise, a completely different question slips out.

“Where's Logan today?”

“He's with mom,” Leigh says, returning to the living room holding a plain-looking vase. “She’s really bonded with him. Actually, she's out showing him off to some old friends today.”

That coaxes out a small smile from you, imagining Logan charming everyone he meets.

Now the roles reverse and Leigh takes her turn with the questions. “How about you? Weren't we supposed to meet for Logan’s stuff tomorrow?” A beat passes, and she adds, “I wasn’t expecting you.” Her tone isn’t harsh, but it's clear that Leigh isn't fond of surprises. You mentally file that away for future reference.

“I wanted to see you,” you say, the words tumbling out more bluntly than planned. “You left so quickly this morning after... after last night.”

Then, almost without thinking, you find yourself nodding toward the door Danny had exited through, the question spilling out before you can reel it back. “Why was Danny here?” It sounds more accusatory than you intend, and you hurry to cushion it, not wanting to come off as possessive. “I mean, I thought you two were—”

“Broken up?” Leigh fills in the blank sharply. She sets the vase down slowly, then turns to face you, her expression becoming more earnest by the second. 

“Yes, we are,” she confirms, crossing her arms lightly over her chest. “Danny came by to pick up some of his things he had left here. It's not... we’re not back together. But if you’re asking why he’s still in my life, then I have news for you, Y/N: we’re friends. And he’s still Matt’s brother.”

You bite your lip, feeling a surge of defensiveness rise within you. “I'm just wondering, that's all,” you manage to say, trying not to sound too confrontational or possessive. You’re suddenly aware of how precarious your position is—you’re not really entitled to feel jealous or make demands. After all, Leigh hasn't given you any sort of claim over her; you're not officially anything. You came here hoping maybe that would change, but now you worry you might be messing it all up.

“Of course you can be friends with whoever you want,” you add hastily.

“Exactly,” she says, but then she pauses, scrutinizing you with a curious tilt of her head. “But what about you?” she presses, taking slow, deliberate steps towards you, like a predator stalking its prey.

You give her a quizzical look.

“The flowers, showing up without a heads-up... What are you hoping to get out of this?”

As Leigh’s gaze bores into you, probing and skeptical, something inside you snaps. The hurt ricochets through you, searing and unexpected. She was so delicate with you, making you feel all sorts of things while doing wonderful, unspeakable things to your body, and now she’s making you question your own reality.

“I've been falling in love with you, Leigh,” you say, your voice rising without your permission, the words bouncing off the walls with a force that startles even you. “Are you just enormously daft or do you not care at all?”

Silence crashes down like a heavy curtain following your admission. 

But Leigh doesn’t flinch from your outburst, nor does she display any signs of distress. She remains eerily still, almost statue-like. Yet, when you look into her eyes, you see it—the unsteadiness there, the only part of her that seems vulnerable to your scrutiny.

Then, she speaks. Just one word, but it's enough to completely deflate you, a response more chilling than if she had simply said she didn't care. 

“No.”

“What—” you start, but she cuts you off.

“You don’t love me.”

The certainty with which she says it feels like a door slamming shut, final and resolute, leaving no room for doubts or arguments. Your mouth hangs open, muted by her unequivocal assertion that you don't love her. 

You’re gearing up to tell her how wrong she is, to insist that what you feel is real, but she cuts you off with a question that feels like a bucket of ice water.

“When you learned that ‘Nick’ was just Danny all along, that Matt’s brother helped him betray me, what was your first thought?” Leigh's voice is clinical, almost detached. 

You feel like you’re missing something, grasping at the air for an answer that will satisfy her. Her gaze traps you, demanding truth, and you realize you can’t escape until you give it to her. What does she want to hear? What is she trying to understand from this?

“My first thought?” you repeat, trying to remember how it made you feel. “I felt sorry for you, Leigh. I couldn’t believe someone so close to you would do that. I felt angry for you, and yeah, I felt really sorry that you had to go through it.”

Leigh's eyes flicker, a subtle shift like a wince. “You pitied me,” she says, her voice cold. “And you also wanted to fuck me. That can be a real killer combo you could mistake for love.” 

You stumble back a step, your legs suddenly weak as her words sink in. It's as if she's taken your heart and laid it bare under a harsh light, reducing your feelings to something small and pitiful, far from the love you thought you felt.

Finding the nearest surface to lean on, you press your back against the front door. The temptation to leave, to walk away from this painful confrontation, is strong. But the beautiful, infuriating creature in front of you couldn't be more wrong about you, about love, about how you feel for her. And you’re hell-bent on changing her mind, even if it’s the last thing you do.

“Then why be with me last night?” you challenge, your voice strained. “If you really think that, why even bother?”

Leigh's smile takes on a mocking twist, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “Just satisfying your curiosity,” she says. “I wanted to lift the veil for you, help you realize it's nothing more than just guilt and sympathy.”

You shake your head. “I don't believe that. Last night wasn't just curiosity or some misguided sense of duty. It was real, Leigh. And I think you know that too.”

Her eyes remain hard, but just beneath, there's a shimmer—perhaps doubt, or something like it.

“You think you know what love is?” she whispers, her voice so faint it's almost lost. “You think it's just about feeling sorry for someone and wanting them?”

“No,” you say firmly. “I think it's about seeing someone for who they are, flaws and all, and wanting to be there for them anyway. I think it's about standing by someone even when it's hard, even when they push you away. And Leigh, I see you. I see all of you, and I still want to be here.

“I love you, Leigh,” you declare, the words tumbling out almost uncontrollably. Ever since you stepped off that plane and your feet touched back on home ground, you've been aching to say it.

Her eyes turn steely, the brief flicker of doubt swallowed up by resolve. “You say that now,” Leigh counters, her laugh dark and hollow. “But I'm not easy. Loving me might just kill you.”

“Leigh—”

“Why do you think Matt was found at the bottom of a forty-foot drop?” she nearly screams, her voice fraying at the edges of hysteria. She starts pacing, her movements restless and agitated. “Why do you think he came to you? Why do you think he kept running from me?”

At the mention of her dead husband, everything suddenly makes sense. The walls she’s built, her reluctant heart—it’s not about being mysterious or difficult. It’s about fear, a deep, visceral terror of being the storm that wrecks another life. Leigh isn't just pushing you away out of whimsy or cruelty; she's doing it because she believes it's the only way to prevent history from repeating itself.

“I’m not Matt.”

She stops pacing, her eyes locking onto yours, filled with anger, fear, and something that looks a lot like pain. “No, you’re not Matt. But you don’t get it. He couldn’t handle it. He couldn’t handle me. I drove him away, and I’ll drive you away too.”

“You didn’t drive Matt away. He was running from his own demons, not you. And I’m not afraid of you. I’m here because I want to be. Because I—”

Her face crumples, the mask she’s been wearing cracking. “You don’t know what you’re saying,” she whispers. “You don’t know what it’s like.”

“I know it’s not easy,” you say, closing the distance between you. You feel her radiating every feeling she’s struggling to contain, the ones she’s attempting to shield from you. “But I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for all of it.”

Her eyes well up, tears slipping down her cheeks. But she doesn’t move away. “Why?” she asks, her voice so small and child-like. “Why would you want to stay?”

“Because I love you,” you say simply, “and I’m not afraid of the cost.”

Leigh gives you a look that could freeze fire—like you’ve just spoken the worst of blasphemies.

“Stop looking at me like that,” you murmur, cupping her neck gently.

“Like what?” she asks, her voice trembling.

“Like it’s the worst thing you’ve ever heard.”

She attempts to smooth over her expression, trying to regain some semblance of control, but there’s a fleeting moment where she resembles a chastised child. You can't help but smile gently, touched by her unguarded reaction.

“Leigh,” you whisper, taking her hands in yours. “One date. Go out with me. Let me prove it to you. Let me show you why it can be a good thing.”

She lets out a shaky breath, and for the first time, there’s a glimmer of hope in her eyes. She nods, almost imperceptibly, but it’s enough. It’s a start.

“Okay,” she whispers in surrender. “One date.”

[gingiesworld]

Y/N: You're not going to be sad forever.

Leigh: What?

Y/N: I intend to make you smile everytime I see you. (Walks into the door on their way out.)

[abimess]

Ok so you want a request! How about one with Leigh Shaw. So Leigh and r (female) have feelings for each other but Leigh, is being well... herself and won’t let it happen. So r starts to move on with someone else, so Leigh realizes her mistake and big love declaration ensues from a jealous Leigh making a scene. With happy ending, with a cherry on top, please.

Hi, anon! This was so fun to write, although I don’t know if I portrayed Leigh very well, she’s a very complex character, but I hope I did. Also, I know this title is huge but it’s the only one I could think of lol Anyway, hope you like it =)

Good reading!

Friends are not supposed to care with who their other friends go out with

Leigh Shaw x Reader

Summary: It’s a fact that Leigh is a complete stubborn person. But what happens when her stubbornness almost makes her lose you?

Word count: 2.732

Warnings: angst (? idk maybe not); fluff

You do NOT have permission to repost or translate my work on any platforms (even with credit)

Masterlist | Library Blog (Read on: Wattpad)

───── ⋅ ✮ ⋅ ─────

Leigh Shaw is your friend.

That’s probably the sentence you repeat to yourself the most. You would say it when she laughed at one of your jokes, when she hugged you goodbye and her perfume would invade your senses, when she made you laugh with one of her sarcastic, unrequired comments. But mostly on moments like this one, when you were alone and thoughts of her took over your mind, causing you to smile like an idiot. Leigh Shaw is your friend, and there’s nothing you can do to change this fact.

Not that you haven’t tried, though. Almost two months ago Drew assigned you to help Leigh with her columns so she would send him the material on time. Leigh was not happy about it and she had no problem showing it in every opportunity she had. Drew had told you that the woman had been through a lot and could be hard to be around due to her temper, but he never told you she was almost a psychopath!

You were about to ask your editor to find someone else to help her when Leigh started to become way more friendly. The change of behavior came out of nowhere and you never asked the reason, too afraid that she would go back to the way she was and attack you with one of the chairs of the coffee shop.

After that, you and Leigh started to share really pleasant afternoons. She allowed you to know more about her, even if it was just a little, and you did the same. Soon you found out that Leigh’s sense of humor was pretty much like yours and that you had much more in common than you thought you would have. Also, both of your performances with your columns increased a lot and so Drew encouraged you to keep going with your meetings, what you had no problem doing.

Not after long, you found yourself longing for the next encounter and wanting to know more about Leigh.

“I was thinking…” You started one day, trying to sound as casual as you could. When Leigh hummed for you to go on, you did. “Maybe we could hang out sometime.”

“We are hanging out.” She retorted simply, her eyes never leaving the screen as she typed.

“No, I mean. Like, actually hang out.” You explained, beginning to stutter a little and Leigh finally looked at you. “Why?” her brows were frowned in confusion, a not-at-all amused expression on her face. “No reason, forget I asked.” You mumbled and turned your attention back to your notebook and Leigh did the same, not saying another word. And that’s how your first and last attempt to ask her out went.

You tried to stop, but the more you did, the more you fell for her. She definitely wasn’t helping. There would be days she would smile at you and give you all her attention, and there would be a tenderness in her eyes that would fill you with hope. And there would be days she would shut you off in any possible way, barely looking at you or answering your questions.

You remember one day you both were having one of the good days, when you would smile the whole way through and Leigh would place her hand softly on your shoulder as she spoke and you would melt to her touch. It was peaceful, it was good. Until it wasn’t.

“Hey, there!” a female voice that you didn’t recognize sounded next to you. Leigh was the first one to look, her smile faltering on her face as she assumed an apprehensive expression. You looked at the mysterious woman, trying to understand what was so intimidating about her presence but all you saw was a smiling woman that was a little younger than you.

“Hi, Jules. (Y/n), this is my sister Jules.” Leigh said stuttering a little and then shifting her gaze from you to the woman you now know is named Jules. “This is (Y/n), my coworker.” You offered your hand for Jules to shake, trying to ignore the hurt that settled in when Leigh said ‘coworker’.

“Nice to meet you, Jules” you said with a warming smile as she shook your hand. The younger woman had a knowing smile on her face as she answered “Nice to meet you, (Y/n). Leigh told me a lot about you.” You frown at her statement, not really sure if that was a good or a bad thing. Coming from Leigh, it could easily be any of them, maybe even both.

But before you could say anything else, Leigh immediately stood up, picking up her stuff in a clumsy way, as fast as she could. “Okay! We should go now.” She said, grabbing her sister by the arm and walking out of the coffee shop, not even bothering to say goodbye to you.

Being around Leigh was a vicious circle of ups and downs, and you were sure nothing would ever give you the strength to break it. Until one day something did.

“I slept with someone.” She said as soon as she got to the coffee shop a few days ago and you choked on your drink. “What?” you tried your best to repress the hurt on both your words and your expression.

She then excitedly told you about her amazing night with this dude in a hotel. You couldn’t care less. In fact, if you could, you would go deaf for the day only to not hear her speaking about it. But you couldn’t let it show. Because Leigh is your friend, and friends aren’t supposed to care with who their other friends go out with. So you listen, smiling and nodding whenever you thought you were supposed to.  

You sigh running your fingers through your hair as those memories of Leigh overwhelm your mind. You have to move on. You can’t go on like this.

So, as if heaven had decided to be nice to you and sent you a sign, a notification pops on your phone and you give it a little smile when you see the name on your screen.

Emily is one of your friends from Basically News and she has been asking you out for a while now. Emily is fun, and funny and beautiful, but she is not Leigh so you always made up excuses for not going out with her. But maybe this time the universe was giving you a chance to move on, so when she asks you out for dinner on Saturday, you say yes.

 -----

 You and Leigh were working on your columns on her living room with Jules laying on the couch. It was a comfortable silence, eventually broken by Jules bringing up some random subject or by you and Leigh exchanging ideas for the website.

“We should do a Harry Potter marathon Saturday night” Jules suggests after the three of you spent a while discussing your Hogwarts houses. Leigh is a Slytherin, none of you had a single doubt about that. But apparently Jules is a Slytherin as well, what surprises you because you would say she was a Gryffindor, but maybe you didn’t know her well enough to make that statement. When you tell them your Hogwarts house, they both nod saying it was obvious and you chuckle. “You should stick around too, (Y/n)” she completes, poking you and you smile. “I can’t, I have a date.”  

“You have a what?” Leigh says immediately after you finish speaking, her brows raised in surprise and slight irritation. “I have a date. I’m going out with Emily.” Leigh sighs in annoyance, turning her attention back to her computer. “I can’t believe you’re going out with Emily.” She completes with disdain and it’s your turn to raise your brows.

“Why? Emily is a nice person. Besides, why do you care-”, “I don’t. In fact, I couldn’t care less about who you go out with.” She interrupts you and you clench your jaw, trying to ignore the bitter taste on your mouth put there by her words.

Leigh just gets up, looking nearly furious. “I gotta go. I have important stuff to do.” And she leaves, not saying another word to you or Jules, who had an amused expression the entire time.

“Well I guess the beast has awakened.” You joke and Jules chuckle. “It could’ve been worse. She could’ve strangled you with her notebook charger.” She retorts and you snort, giving her a half-hearted smile before getting up “I should go before she comes back and actually do it, then.”

Jules giggles before saying her goodbyes and you leave, not knowing what to think about that whole interaction.

 -----

 “I’m just saying that I don’t know what (Y/n) saw on Emily, that’s all” Leigh says in full annoyance.

It’s Saturday and she hates it. She hates that she’s about to start a Harry Potter marathon and you are not there. She hates that after that stupid afternoon she couldn’t stop thinking about you and your stupid date with Emily. She hates Emily. Doesn’t matter if she only talked to her, like, twice. She hates her, she has enough reasons to do so. She hates that you’re going out with her. She hates that you’re going out. She hates you. But the fact that she can’t actually hate you is what she hates the most.

“And you sure have many reasons for that because…” Jules said in a playful tone and with an amused smile as she checks her clock “… you have been just saying that for almost an hour now”.

Leigh rolls her eyes, grabbing some ingredients to prepare a smoothie. She didn’t even want a smoothie. But if preparing it meant she would keep her mind minimally occupied then she would drink the damn smoothie.

“I have no idea what you mean” She says, trying to sound as indifferent as she could as she chops the ingredients with way more strength than it’s necessary. “(Y/n) is my friend, I just don’t want her to go out with some boring, stupid girl, that’s all”.

“Of course” Jules says leaning in on the kitchen counter, the amused smile never leaving her face. “No one would never want that for a friend.”

“You shouldn’t be testing my patience while I have a knife on my hands” Leigh retorts with her brows raised in irritation, pointing the item to her sister.  

“No murdering on my kitchen” Leigh heard her mother saying as she walked in to get herself a glass of water.

“Hey, mom, do you know that girl Leigh has a crush on?” Jules asks taunting, her eyes never leaving her sister’s. Leigh sighs. If her anger keeps growing the way it is, she will commit a crime.

“(Y/n)?” Her mother says without hesitation causing Jules to giggle and Leigh rolls her eyes, sighing in irritation “Oh, come on, not you too!”  

“Oh, honey, don’t get me wrong, but it is pretty obvious…” Her mother starts but Leigh just turns the blender at full power, turning to face the other two with a taunting expression and a sneering tone “Sorry, ladies, I’m not hearing you.” Leigh turns back to face the blender, not seeing the knowing smiles the other two exchanged. She tries to focus on the smoothie, but her mind is far away with thoughts of you.

Maybe her mother and Jules were right. Maybe friends aren’t supposed to care with who their other friends go out with.

-----

 She had enough. It’s almost 8pm now and the only thing Leigh has done was think of you, not giving a damn about the movie on the TV. And she had enough. Leigh gets up and rush to her room to change her clothes. She thinks Jules called her, but she had no time to answer.

“What are you doing?” Jules asks with frowned brows and an amazed smile when she finally came back, heading to the front door. “I’m going for a walk.” Leigh retorts, well aware that her clothes were not for exercising, but Jules just nods, amused. “I see… Good luck on your walk.” Jules says, but Leigh is already out, heading towards her car and to your house.

“Fuck” she mumbles after knocking on your door for the fourth time, realizing you’re already gone. You and your stupid, adorable punctuality. Leigh lets out a deep sigh and turns around, cursing herself for what she’s about to do.

 -----

 This is wrong.

You’re talking and eating and laughing, but this is wrong. Emily is not Leigh and that’s the only thing you can think of. You’re about to tell Emily you can’t do this and that you’re sorry when a voice by your side startles you.  

“Can we talk?” Leigh asks, not even bothering to say hi or to acknowledge Emily’s presence. You look at her, shock clear on your face as you wonder how she knew where you were and why the hell she’s here, but you can’t manage to ask any of those things.

“Why… how…”, “You told me this was your favorite restaurant so I figured… Can we talk?” She asks again sounding more anxious and impatient than before, and you try not to smile at her explanation, not believing she paid attention to that.

You nod and excuse yourself from Emily. Leigh just walks ahead of you. You follow her cautiously and she only turns to face you when you’re out of the restaurant.

“What are you doing?” She asks, pointing at the restaurant, and you raise your brows “What am I doing? What are you doing?” You breathe, trying to control your irritation. She couldn’t play you like this anymore. “Why are you here, Leigh?”

She impassively scans your face in silence and you sigh impatiently. “Look, if you came all your way here just to stare at me I’ll have to-”, “Do you even like her?” She interrupts you and you straighten your posture, surprised.  

“What?” you ask and Leigh clench her jaw, shifting the weight on her feet, apprehensive “Emily. Do you even like her?”

“I thought you didn’t care.” You retort and watch as tears start to form on Leigh’s angry eyes “Well I do care. I care a lot, actually. Maybe more than I should.”

“Why?” You ask defensively, her answer definitely caught you unguarded. Leigh lets out a dry laugh, running her fingers through her hair. “God, you’re so stupid. And annoying, and oblivious and beautiful and caring. And the way I can’t stop thinking about you is infuriating. And the fact that you’re here, going on a date with someone else drives me mad!”

She’s poking your chest and talking way too loud, making the people around you turn their curious gazes to the scene but you couldn’t care less. Your attention was completely on Leigh and on the things she was telling you.

You think you should say something, but soon Leigh is speaking again, and what she says next gets you frozen in place. “And I love you. That’s why.” She locks her eyes on yours looking for an answer and frowns in anger when she doesn’t get one. “Won’t you say something? Don’t stand there staring at me. Do something!”

She demands and you do the only thing your body allows you to do. You place your hands on Leigh’s cheeks and lean in, connecting your lips together. Leigh startle at your sudden action, but it takes less than a second for her to respond to the kiss, placing her hands on your waist, grabbing the cloth of your clothes tightly as if to not let you go.

As your mouths wander together, you feel the whole tension from the last months leaving your body. There’s no more doubt, no more fear or hurt. There’s only happiness and peace and harmony.

You don’t want to break the kiss, but the two of you are smiling too much, making it hard to keep going. “I love you, too” You whisper after you move away, resting your foreheads together. Leigh giggles happily and you can’t help but smile, your heart warming up at your favorite sound in the entire world.  

You know you have to go back inside and apologize to Emily. But right now it’s just you and Leigh, and nothing else matters.

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And that's it for today! I hope you enjoyed it, thoughts and comments are always welcome ツ

Taglist: @yuhloversxx @madamevirgo @an-evergreen-rose @helloalycia @wandas1mp @cantcontroltheirfear @diaryoflife (let me know if you wanna be tagged)

[wandabear]

DAYLIGHT ㅤㅤㅤ   

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x female reader Summary: 'Sunflower' prequel. Read that first, if you want. You and the love of your life meet for the first time, you don't know everything that awaits you. Leigh Shaw is a tropical storm. This is also part of a request, thank you sweet anon. ㅤㅤㅤ    warnings: ansgt, mentions of death, alcoholism. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤPART I

Her gaze was lost on the ceiling, perhaps for twenty minutes until the alarm went off. The dark circles under her eyes showed how much it was difficult for her to sleep lately.

Y/N sighed heavily.

ㅤㅤ

She got up from the bed and went to the bathroom to take a nice hot shower. Some melancholic eyes were reflected in the mirror, she watched the scars on her body while she undressed.

ㅤㅤ

Didn't even feel like making breakfast, she just left the apartment and walked to the nearest coffee shop. Waited patiently in line until she could chat with the barista for a moment while waited for a large latte and a delicious bagel.

She took her time finishing it, listening to some music through her headphones for half an hour until she decided to leave.

ㅤㅤ Even though the barista gave Y/N her number, it didn't matter too much. She just got back on her Iron 883 and drove to the Los Angeles Fire Department, Station 12.

Some of her coworkers greeted her, surprised and happy to see her again. Everyone except her boss, who turned to see her quite surprised.

ㅤㅤ

“What did I tell you?” The man in his sixties grunted, shaking his head as he signed some papers.

ㅤㅤ “I have to go back to work.” Y/N sighed, ready to fight for what she wanted this time. “I've already learned whatever lesson you're giving me.”

ㅤㅤ All her life she dreamed of being a firefighter, of being able to help people and being in that very place where she was standing. Years of preparation, mental and physical sacrifice, her heart belonged to that place, how could she not be there?

ㅤㅤ “You can’t do it unless-” He was going to repeat the usual but Y/N cut him off.

ㅤㅤ “Cut the crap, chief.”

ㅤㅤ “Y/N.” He scolded her, looking up. With a single look it was enough for Y/N to know that she fucked it up. She swallowed.  “I have told you many times, you have to go to the meetings or I can't let you come back.”

ㅤㅤ

“It's stupid!” Y/N raised her voice, so annoyed. “I don't need those stupid meetings, what I need is to get back to work.”

ㅤㅤ

“Y/N, I know what it's like to deal with loss. Trust me, I've worked here my whole fucking life.” ㅤㅤ

“Chief, please…” ㅤㅤ

“Tonight. Grief support group, Y/L/N. I need you SOBER and better than this. Last chance.” Her boss watched her and didn't back down even a step. She knew perfectly well that those were the rules and it was necessary.

ㅤㅤ

If she wanted to get back to her job, her life, she had to do what she had to do to earn it. Life is about one sacrifice after another, after all.

ㅤㅤ

“FUCK!” was heard in that place when Y/N left the place in a hurry, completely furious.

ㅤㅤ

“So… that was what happened.” That young man explained, surrounded by the group of people.  He seemed quite sad but felt better when he noticed that everyone was listening to him, not ignoring his pain.

ㅤㅤ

“Thanks for share with us.” They all said, surprising Y/N, who awkwardly joined in.

ㅤㅤ

“I'm glad you could express that to us, James.” The moderator of the group, Janet, smiled kindly, turning to see the new person joining them today.  “Today someone joins us and it's always good to welcome you. Do you want to introduce yourself?”

ㅤㅤ

“Umh… I’m not-” Y/N stammered awkwardly, feeling all eyes on her. Her heart raced, she could feel it. The firefighter hated being the center of attention, but she had to do this if she wanted to go back to the Station.

ㅤㅤ

“My name is Y/N Y/L/N, I'm not from Los Angeles… I mean, I wasn't born here, but I live here in L.A” She cleared her throat somewhat nervously, settling in the chair. “My job asks me to do it, and- and I love my job. And it doesn't bother me, I got used to this nice place.”

ㅤㅤ

“Even if it's a bit hot.” She teased, making some laugh. “I… umh-”

ㅤㅤ

They all expected to know more, they seemed like wild animals waiting for a part of the prey. Or at least that was how she saw it.

Silence flooded the place, Y/N remained thoughtful for a moment. Her gaze was lost somewhere in the room, but she just couldn't hear or say anything.

Just relive that memory, so tragic.

ㅤㅤ

And despite the fact that she wanted to keep talking, Y/N was unable to continue. As if anguish took her by the neck, she just frowned and shook her head.

Swallowing hard, the dark-haired woman just listened to the testimonies of each person who wanted to open up and express the pain they felt.

ㅤㅤ

When she was asked again if she wanted to say something else, Y/N just shook her head slowly and remained silent. It was typical, especially for someone attending for the first time. ㅤㅤ

As soon as that meeting ended, Y/N approached the coffee table in that room so she could pour herself some nice steaming cup and run away as soon as she had the chance. Y/N didn’t want to look so desperate or they would discover the truth. She was just using this meeting to go back the job.

ㅤㅤㅤ    After having a steaming cup of coffee, she turned ready to leave but ended up colliding with a brown-haired woman with lovely but melancholy green eyes. Though thanks to her skills, didn’t spill even a single drop of coffee.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Oh, I’m sorry.” The girl apologized, muttering something a bit embarrassed but didn’t care much either. Something that caught Y/N’s attention, completely out of this world.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

The woman in front of her, a downcast gaze looking at her phone, atractive and charming features.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

ㅤㅤㅤ    “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t saw you…” Y/N mumbled softly, noticing how the woman tucked one of her strands of hair behind her ear.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Feeling completely stunned by the beauty. Even with a half-done bun and hoodies, she was… different. Interesting. Hot as fuck, yes, but… gorgeous. Those huge green eyes caught her attention, a somewhat adorable nose and the fact that she was shorter than her.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Hi… I’m Y/N .” Said the taller woman finally, holding out her hand so they could shake it. That gesture made the green eyed stranger smile, maybe surprised by her desire to socialize.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“I’m Leigh.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Nice to meet you, Leigh.” Y/N smiled widely, nodding a bit. Something that Leigh thought was adorable. A big dork, again. “Sorry, I wanted some coffee.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“And I wanted a donut, although the ones here aren’t so good tho…” Leigh whispered, wrinkling her nose, making Y/N’s heart to start pounding faster. “You’re new here. I haven’t seen you before, welcome.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Y/N swallowed hard again, both began to walk together towards the exit. She just nodded, giving Leigh a chance to speak again. Maybe the brunette might socialize a bit, her mother and Jules always insisted so much. Surely would later regret it later.

Or maybe not.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“I understand the feeling, it’s kind of intimidating.” Leigh shrugged.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Yeah… it’s something… it makes you feel exposed.” Y/N babbled  then opened the door for Leigh to go through first. They both talked for a while until Y/N couldn’t take it anymore. “Umh… Do you promise that if I tell you something you won’t get mad?”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Promise.” Leigh smiled and raised her hand, it was incredible how they barely knew each other and they got along, even being quite friendly with that stranger.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“This isn’t the AA group by any chance, is it?” Y/N bit her bottom lip to hide a guilty and somewhat regretful smile.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“No, it’s not…that’s Wednesday at 6 pm.” Leigh frowned, somewhat amused. Of course she knew because Jules attended every Wednesday.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Yeah… I realized that when everyone started talking and I… was embarrassed to leave. When I started listening to everyone talk about their losses, I felt really bad about it. I mean, I came to talk about how I couldn’t feel comfortable on birthdays or Christmas…”

She lied, again. It was so much better than having to explain, she wasn't going back to that damn meeting anyway. She would tell her boss that she did go, present evidence, and then goodbye.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

And although that would surely end up annoying Leigh so bad, and she would surely get mad for feeling so exposed by telling her story to someone who wasn’t even there for it, Y/N smiled when Leigh started laughing.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

It wasn’t a fake laugh, it was a pretty genuine laugh. And Y/N loved it. Y/N completely fell in love with it.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“It would be worse if you said ‘I only came here for coffee’.” Leigh joked. “Hi, I’m Y/N and I just came here for coffee and to see your sad mopey faces…” ㅤㅤㅤ    Y/N laughed somewhat surprised, glad that the brunette didn’t get mad at her.

ㅤㅤㅤ    “Maybe I do, the anguish revitalizes me and makes me younger. In fact, I am about fifty-two years old.” Y/N continued, walking together out of that building. Without even thinking about it, both were walking side by side, keeping each other company through the streets of Los Angeles. She took a sip from her cup but the coffee was cold. “This isn’t the best coffee tho, but it’s not that bad either…”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Leigh thought for a moment, the sound of cars and footsteps made her lose herself. She strangely felt comfortable with a stranger she hadn’t known more than a few minutes ago. How many times that happened in her whole life? Maybe just one.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Would you like to go to a place where both things are better? Coffee and donuts.” Leigh finally asked as she snatched the coffee out of her hand and tossed it into the nearest trash can.

ㅤㅤㅤ    Surprised at that, Y/N simply nodded and followed Leigh who seemed to know a good coffee place that was open 24 hours. ㅤㅤㅤ   

“So…” Y/N settled into her seat while she put two tablespoons of sugar in her coffee. “How long have you been in the group?”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“A year? I think so…” Leigh wrinkled her nose. “It’s not so bad, I know it's hard to start, but then... it helps.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Does it? Well, she wasn't going to deny that it helped to be able to share the pain with people who understand that too. Although at first she refused a lot.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“They seem like a pretty nice group of people.” Y/N nodded slowly. “Why are you there?”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Perhaps that question was more direct than expected, Y/N cursed herself. Silence for a moment was an answer enough.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, I was too… you know. I… I'm not used to socializing yet.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s okay… I lost my husband a year ago.” Leigh set her coffee cup on the table and licked her lips. “It was quite a difficult time for me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m sorry.” She sighed, seeing how Leigh just nodded, surely tired of hearing those words over and over again. 'Im sorry, sorry for your loss'. That’s exhausting. For a year, each person who crosses your path repeating how sorry they are. For what? They didn't kill Matt. He did. Or the cliff, whatever.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I wasn't looking just for the AA meeting.”  Y/N added, opening up to someone else for the first time. “I mean, I was too. I needed to go to one, but also… I did... I did lose someone. Two.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N cleared her throat, holding that cup with her hands. “It's more complicated than it seems.”

She lowered her gaze.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I see.” Leigh muttered. She didn't know what to say, Leigh wasn't the most talkative person in the world either. But the woman seemed nice, ever since she stopped talking to Becca it had been hard to socialize. Well, it always was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I try to fool myself and people that I don't need it. I don't need to get over that loss because I already did, I mean, that's it, they’re dead but…” The dark-haired woman narrowed her eyes. “I didn't.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Leigh tried to smile but it just seems like an awkward expression, failing completely. She just stretched out her hand to squeeze that stranger's hand and then leaned back in her seat.

The song from the radio seemed to help with the long silence.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What’s the most weird or embarrassing song on your playlist?” Y/N finally broke the silence, an utterly bold move.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What?” Leigh frowned without understanding, maybe a smiling a bit because of how random that was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on, are you afraid that I'll laugh?” Y/N challenged her, raising an eyebrow and smiling mischievously. “What's your guilty pleasure, Leigh Shaw?” She read the name tag on the brunette's jacket.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Far from bothering her, Leigh gladly accepted the challenge.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Barbie Girl by Aqua.” Leigh smiled victoriously. “You?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I never told you that I would tell you.” She teased, drinking her latte. “The baby shark song.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on!”  Leigh giggled.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Spice Up Your Life by Spice Girls. Oh, I love it.” Y/N shrugged and drank some of her coffee. “What Taylor Swift era are you in if you had to pick one?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, I don’t like Taylor Swift.” Leigh said trying to look disinterested but seeing Y/N's look, she just laughed. “Just kidding. Umh… I think I’m… Reputation?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, you totally look like Rep.” Y/N nodded slowly.  “If you were an animal what would you be?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I- I don’t know.” The brunette licked her lips after finishing her coffee.  “Umh… maybe a… a bird. I could fly away, that's it.” She shrugged.  “What about you?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I would be a panda.” Y/N leaned back in her seat, narrowing her eyes as if she had made the best decision of her life, trying to make her laugh. And she did it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Cute and fat. Nice.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“And a loner, and really pissed off. Pandas look cute but they are always angry.”

ㅤ

"It must be the huge dark circles that don't let us see them."

ㅤㅤㅤ

And though she didn't want to admit it, Leigh seemed to be having a good time with this woman. Maybe a bit slow at first but Y/N seemed cool, and it might help if she knows someone in the grief group.

Between giggles and some weird but interesting questions, they both spent the time trying to get to know each other. And time goes by fast when you feel at ease.

Leigh told her that she was a writer, working on a book for some time but hadn't known how to continue.

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Y/N told her that she was having a 'break' from her job, as if her wounded ego wouldn't let her reveal that she wasn't allowed back unless she took a step away from alcoholism, self-hatred and pain.

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“Hey, Leigh… Umh… Do you know what is white, black, white, black, black and white?” Y/N narrowed her eyes, hoping Leigh would fall for it.

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“Mmm, no.” Leigh narrowed her eyes.  “Piano keys?”

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“A panda falling down the stairs.” Y/N bit her lower lip to keep from laughing at how stupid that joke sounded.

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Despite the fact that that joke was pretty bad, Leigh began to laugh little by little, shaking her head. They both burst out laughing; the connection between the two of them had been instant and the warmth of the moment felt so genuine.

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Finally someone was bursting her bubble in an unexpected way and it terrified her. Suddenly Leigh felt a deep pang in her chest. Her eyes filled with tears for a second, remembering the first time she met Matt.

What was she doing? What was she doing in that place?

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The smile on Leigh's lips faded so quickly that it made Y/N's heart skip a beat. Did she say something wrong maybe?

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“Sorry, I-I've to go.” Leigh babbled getting up from her chair and taking her jacket.

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Surprised -and maybe a bit sad-, Y/N just nodded quickly.

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“Of course, yeah.”

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She got up and stood in front of the brunette, looking into her green eyes for a moment. They didn't know what to say, just feeling that connection and having to cut it off was so… sad.

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“It was nice to meet you.” Leigh smiled nervously and grabbed her bag, turning to walk towards the door.  “See you in the group next week.”

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“See you, Shaw.” Y/N murmured, sitting back in the chair and looking thoughtful as she looked at her empty cup. This was not what she expected, not at all.

Was she doing something wrong? Had she gone too far? She'd just made her laugh! Leigh was beautiful but she wasn't trying to… push her.

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What was she going to do there anyway? Y/N took her keys and her jacket and left the café, to go back home before it was late. Maybe tomorrow would be a different day.

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But when she returned home, loneliness invaded her completely. Like a dark misterious being, caught her i its cloak, drowning her in misery. That desolate apartment made Y/N’s heart slowly sink.

Y/N took a deep breath and walked to the fridge, seeing only thing she had was beer cans and some old food.

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Y/N took the beer to the sink, looking at them for a moment.

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What to do? What to feel? She needed to drown all those negative feelings inside of her, and the only way to numb them was... that.

But unlike other heartbreaking nights, now there was something else on her mind. Something that aroused her interest, even if she didn't know it yet.

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Y/N took the beers and one by one poured them into the sink, letting them go. Part of her said no, leave some, at least one in case someone ever came along or something. Or drink just one and throw everything Or perhaps better drink one and throw away all the rest, one more. The last one.

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She tilted her head to see the photograph on the nearest cabinet, an adorable photograph of her and two other women, hugging in front of the beach. One was redhead and the other brunette. The three of them laughed, making funny faces. ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N remembered the time Nat and Jules invited her to go to the beach that weekend, although Y/N refused saying that they should 'make it a romantic trip', they just wanted to spend time with her.

That weekend they spent one of the best days of her life, ending it with that photograph in a beautiful sunset in front of the beach.

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This is what they would have wanted.

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Sighing, Y/N dropped the rest of the beers and took the phone to order something to eat, other than a piece of cheese and bread. And although she didn't want to think about it, that night Y/N lay in bed thinking about that woman, and that perhaps it wouldn't be bad to visit the group again next week.

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“Anyone else want to share something with us?”

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“Thomas?” Janet asked but the man just shook his head, he wasn't ready to do it. Now the gaze of Janet fell on her. Y/N settled into her seat, surely Janet noticed how she moved her leg anxiously.

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“Y/N? Would you like to tell us something?” Her voice was so warm that Y/N had to stop herelf from telling her to fuck off for it.

ㅤㅤㅤ It had been quite a difficult week. Y/N believed that by throw away every bottle and presenting a paper that said that she attended ONE meeting, her boss was going to accept it, but it wasn’t like that at all.

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Swallowing, she just tilted her gaze. “I’m angry.”

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“Being angry is good, it's good to allow ourselves positive but also negative feelings.” Janet nodded, and the others around her did the same. All those looks on her, just made it feel like some kind of experiment.

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“I’m so angry. Because I want to go back to my life, to my work and I have to be here.” She let out again, not knowing why she was saying all that. Y/N just knew that every word was escaping from her mouth and couldn't control it.

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Everyone around her listened attentively, including Leigh, who was in front of her with a coffee in her hand.

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“Everyone looking at me like I'm a fucking guinea pig or something. Okay, wanna know? Let's see... I lost my whole life thanks to alcoholism.” Y/N frowned, thinking how far she had come. How is it that everything changed so much from one moment to the next? “And I fell into alcoholism because I lost my sister and my best friend at the same time. Also my parents treated me like shit.”

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Leigh, who was staring at her, felt a little sorry, understanding the woman a bit more now. Everyone there did it, in their own way, everyone suffered an irreparable loss but slowly they tried to heal.

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“My sister died a short time ago. Sh- she wasn't my biological sister, but she was my sister.” Y/N sighed deeply, entering a rather complicated field. Her lip twitched. “As I said, a year ago.”

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Everyone listened carefully and said nothing, when someone opened up like that it was important that they feel heard.

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“Julia.” Y/N swallowed at the thought of her best friend, her sister. “That was her name, we called her Jules, she was wonderful. A lovely human being, she had a lovely wife too. They died… and I'm here.”

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That name made Leigh look at her, having her full attention. As if fate somehow played a trick on them. ㅤㅤㅤ

“We were together since elementary school, always… She was there for me more than anyone.” You could tell that talking about it hurt deeply, Y/N swallowed and narrowed her eyes several times to keep from crying. “Even when I said that my dream was to be a firefighter, she decided to come along and support me. Although she chose to be a paramedic, so we could be together.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N felt her lips tremble and how those eyes filled with tears but she tried to stay strong because she couldn't cry in front of all those people, could she? Come on. ㅤㅤㅤ “There was a gas leak in a building... then there was a big explosion.  We were there.” Tears began to fall but she was too exhausted to wipe them away or hide them. “She and her wife Nat died… They died and I’m here.”

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She hated having to be the center of attention, feeling like an 'attention whore' or something. But once she started expressing what she felt, she couldn't stop. Because she no longer had anyone to talk to.

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“I’m still here and I sometimes I hate it.” She sniffled. "If we were a team… why didn't they take me too?"

ㅤㅤㅤ “I spent so much time thinking that… that maybe I'm just crazy. That maybe she's not gone. She’ll come around the corner any second, smiling at me.” Y/N smiled at the memory that came to mind.  “Ma- Making fun of how I usually breathe through my mouth when I eat, she says I look like a fish out of water.”

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Y/N laughed through tears.

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“Since that day my head has not stopped telling me that it is better to get away from everyone before they abandon me.”

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She felt a soft hand resting on her shoulder and for a moment she thought about leaving, but seeing that the old lady only wanted to comfort her, Y/N just let it happen.

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“And I'm mad at myself and everyone.”  Y/N looked down. “Especially my boss who won't let me go back to work and be able to save people. That’s it.”

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“Thank you, Y/N. For your sacrifice and for sharing this with us.”  Janet said and they all repeated again, nodding.

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“It is important to be able to express what we feel in order to move forward.” Janet smiled kindly. “Denial and anger are two huge steps towards acceptance.”

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Sighing deeply and managing to calm down, Y/N nodded and dried her tears with a tissue that the kind old lady offered her, making the woman smile a bit.

After the group finished, Y/N left the place feeling the load on her back slightly lessen. Not much, but enough to take the first step out of darkness.

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She noticed how Leigh waited, sitting on the stairs. Scrolling down her phone.

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“Hey.” The brunette stood up when she saw her, smiling kindly.

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“Hey, Shaw.” Y/N stood next to her, her heart beats faster but she told herself that it was surely because she was crying before. “Did you run out of gasoline?”

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“No, I just took an Uber today, I didn't feel like driving.” Leigh wrinkled her nose and crossed her arms, as she began to walk with Y/N. “I'm glad you could express what you feel.”

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“Sure.” Y/N smirked, while playing with the keys of her motorcycle.  “Crying like a child in front of a group of people I don't know isn't too bad.”

ㅤ��ㅤ

“But do you feel better?” Leigh arched an eyebrow.

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They stopped when Y/N reached her motorcycle and she got on it. “Yeah…”

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“Oh, this is yours?” Leigh pointed at the motorcycle in surprise.  “I thought it was from some bearded drunk old man who mistook this place for a biker bar.”

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The brunette joked and within seconds she realized what she just said, but Y/N just bit her lower lip trying not to laugh. 

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“Sorry, too soon for someone recovering from… alcoholism. Fuck.” Leigh had always been too direct and perhaps a little cruel at times, even if she didn't want to.

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Y/N finally laughed at that joke, holding the helmet in her hands. “It’s okay, it wasn’t that bad. I’m not a baby.”

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“Good then.” Leigh turned to walk away but stopped to say something else. “Y/N?”

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“Yeah?” She looked up as she started the bike and made it roar.

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“How can you want to save someone if you don't do something to save yourself?”

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Perhaps one of the best questions she had ever heard. Leigh raised an eyebrow and smiled victoriously.

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“What are you some kind of cheap shrink or something?” Y/N growled.

ㅤㅤㅤ Leigh shrugged. “I have an advice column on a website. That must give me some kind of value to my words, right?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N gave a small laugh. “Yeah, it shows.”

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Sighing deeply, Y/N handed the helmet to the brunette who looked at her blankly.

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“Come on, sunflower.” Y/N made the bike roar, but Leigh still didn't move. That nickname made her narrow her eyes, not knowing how to take it.  “I'll take you home, okay?”

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“I'm not going to get on that.” Leigh rolled her eyes, she was definitely not going to get on a bike with a stranger -not so stranger- and much less at night. What was she? One of those bitches from Grand Theft Auto?

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“Come on! It's dark and the Ubers will take time, plus you could get any psycho here.”

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Sighing in defeat, Leigh snatched the helmet from her hands in complete annoyance. Y/N helped and when she was ready, she drove through the city to the brunette's house.

It wasn't too far from her house, so that wasn't too bad.

Once they arrived, Leigh hurried to get off the motorcycle and removed her helmet, afraid someone would see her. Especially her nosy mother or sister.

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“Thank you.” Leigh said quickly, arranging her hair a bit.

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“You are welcome.” The dark-haired woman smiled and nodded. “Not bad for a biker.”

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But far from laughing, Leigh just rolled her eyes and then saw how Y/N started her motorcycle again, ready to go.

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“Why?” the brunette asked, making Y/N to look at her, confused.

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“Why what?”

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“Why did you call me sunflower?” She frowned blankly. She had to know or her doubt would eat her up all week.

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But this time, the one who smiled victoriously was Y/N.

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“See you next week, Shaw.” She just looked straight ahead and drove away from that house, leaving Leigh behind.

🌼 cute people i'm gonna tag here: 🌼 @oh-thats-cute - @katiemay-025 - @imnotasuperhero - @marvelogic

[yelenasdiary]

Kinktober Info

So, I have decided to join in on the kinktober trend this year! Please have a read below on how to request a fic and the times I'll be posting etc.

Please DO NOT read this post or interact with my blog in any form if you are a minor! This is for people 18+ ONLY!. Men, please do not interact, thank you.

This is kind of long but it includes everything you need to know before sending me a request x.

Requesting -

If you'd like to request a fic for Kinktober, please read these points carefully.

~ The deadline to have requests sent is September 23rd (AEST). For anybody outside Australia, this would be September 22nd.

~ When requesting, please mark your request with "For Kinktober", if you don't I will just assume your request isn't for the event.

~ Sending a request doesn’t guarantee it will be written, I may get an overwhelming amount of requests for this & if that happens, I simply cannot write them all.

~ When sending a request, please state if you want Reader to be fem or GN! If you want Reader to have a penis in the fic, please mention if you want them to be Fem, GN or AFAB/AMAB.

Here is a list of what I am comfortable with writing & what I am not comfortable writing. Please read these carefully, if you send a request that I am not comfortable with, I will delete it without an explanation.

Comfortable With: Daddy/Mommy kinks, Con Non Con, Character x Character, Character x Reader, Breeding Kink, Voyeurism, Desperation, Toys, Bondage, Double Penetration, Lactation Kink, Somnophilia, Exhibitionism. FAB! Reader with a penis and/or Character with a penis.

Not Comfortable With: Scat, Incest, Pedophilia, Character x Male Reader, Body Shaming, R*pe, Racism, Age Regression in a sexual setting.

I do not write smut for celebrity x reader. I only write smut for female fictional characters x reader.

Extra Details -

~ I will post a fic every Monday, Wednesday & Friday for kinktober, giving you all a total of 13 fics. Again, for all those outside Australia, this will be every Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday.

~ All fics will be posted at 5PM AEST. If for any reason I will be late posting, I'll make a post about it.

~ I will not have a seperate taglist for this, if you want to be tagged for any of my work, please leave a comment on THIS POST.

Who I Will Write For -

If somebody isn’t listed here, it doesn’t necessarily mean I won’t write for them.

Yelena Belova (Marvel)

Wanda Maximoff // The Scarlet Witch (Marvel)

Natasha Romanoff (Marvel)

Kate Bishop (Marvel)

Agatha Harkness (Marvel)

Melina Vostokoff (Marvel)

Emily Prentiss (Criminal Minds)

Charlie Ross (The Little Drummer Girl)

Kelly Foster (We Brought a Zoo)

Jane Banner (Wind River)

Leigh Shaw (Sorry For You Loss)

Alice Chambers (Don’t Worry Darling)

Taylor Sloane (Ingrid Goes West)

Any variant characters from THIS LIST.

With that, I can't wait to be apart of this little event (or trend, whatever you want to call it!) I'm excited to see what you guys come up with! If you have any further questions, concerns or if you're confused on anything, please don't hesitate to send me a message or ask.