#Female Reader X Leigh Shaw

[ginnsbaker]

fic: if i bleed (you'll be the last to know) (16/17)

Part Summary: You and Leigh cling to each other, counting down the days until she leaves next year for Matt's book tour.

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x Fem!Reader | Word count for this part: 5.300+ | Tags/Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Smut, Strap-on usage (r receiving), oral (r receiving), sex in public | Author's note: Just R and Leigh being all over each other before we wrap up this series :)

Masterlist | Part I Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII | Part XIV I Part XV

-

Your internal clock kicks in at five in the morning, even though it feels like you and Leigh only just fell asleep, exhausted after hours of chasing each other to the brink and back. You’ve long since stopped counting the times you’ve brought each other over the edge, a relentless pursuit of pleasure that left both of you gasping, spent, yet craving more. 

Was it possible to share an orgasm that stretched into what felt like hours? If so, how were you not just a tangle of bliss-wrecked limbs, dead to the world?

You vaguely remember a drowsy conversation as you were both drifting off, your sweaty bodies tangled in the sheets. You’d managed a murmured question about the future, about what happens when Leigh hits the road for the comic tour. But she’d just pressed a lazy, silencing kiss to the corner of your mouth. “What if tomorrow an asteroid hits Los Angeles?” she’d teased, nosing the length of your jaw, pressing a kiss here and there.

You tried to frown, your mind foggy with sleep. “Be serious,” you muttered.

“I am,” she whispered back, her lips brushing against your ear, sending shivers down your spine. “I’m dead serious about sucking every drop of now, not wasting a second on what-ifs.”

You’re not entirely sure what happened next, only that when Leigh said the word suck, you felt a tingling sensation that surged down to your core. Before you knew it, you were on your back again, with Leigh skillfully coaxing out the final, shattering orgasm of the night from you.

Stretching your back, you hear a few satisfying pop, reminding you how sex with Leigh was nothing short of a workout, your muscles pleasantly sore from it. The first pale light finds Leigh beside you, her back turned, skin bare, and just a whisper of the sheets covering her. You realize you’ve monopolized the covers throughout the night. 

You carefully pull the sheet over her, tucking it around her exposed shoulder. She’s still out, peaceful, her breathing even and deep. You can’t help but slide closer, wrapping an arm around her waist, her skin so soft and warm. You kiss the back of her neck lightly, her scent—a mix of sweet sweat and the faint floral of her shampoo—fills you up.

Soon enough, the gentle rhythm of Leigh's breathing lulls you back into sleep.

-

When you wake up again, hours later, the bed beside you is empty. The covers are tucked around you, forming a comforting cocoon, undoubtedly Leigh’s thoughtful doing. 

There’s no rush to throw on clothes; you relish the comfort of the sheets against your bare skin as you slide out of bed. It's not your first time being in Leigh’s room, but the last time you were here, you barely made it a foot inside before being overtaken by the fight you were having. Last night was different. In the darkness, nothing mattered except Leigh’s cries of pleasure, the slick heat between her thighs, and the taste of her lips, completely consumed by the wonders of her body. With the slow start to your morning, you realize you now have all the time in the world to explore Leigh’s room.

Though, quite literally, there’s not much to unpack here.

In one corner near the windows, stacks of cardboard boxes are still wrapped in tape. They are remnants, you guess, of her life with Matt. Drifting over to Leigh’s desk, you notice a notebook sitting there, its pages shut tight. The temptation to peek is there, but you respect her privacy, leaving it untouched. Above the desk, a small shelf is lined with books—classics you recognize and, surprisingly, a few romance novels by Emily Henry. You're not usually into romance, but you make a mental note to check out this author on your next visit to a bookstore.

Exploring Leigh’s room reveals a charming minefield. Clothes are draped over chairs, pooled on the floor, or spilling from drawers. The dresser is a jumble of lotion bottles, perfume, earrings, and hair ties. It's all quintessentially Leigh—somewhat untamed. Your self-guided tour brings you inevitably back to the doorway. Just as you’re turning to give one last look over the room, the door bursts open. It's Jules, and the moment she sees you, her eyes widen in horror.

“Jesus, Y/N!” Jules shrieks, throwing her hands up to shield her eyes. “What the hell?”

Scrambling, you grab a throw pillow off Leigh’s bed and hold it in front of you. “Jules! I, uh, didn't think anyone would be coming in,” you stammer, cheeks heating up.

“Why are you naked in my sister's room?” Jules demands, her voice muffled by her hands, still covering her face. The question sounds ridiculous even to her ears—everyone knew you and Leigh had a date last night.

Of course, you're naked in her sister's bedroom the next morning. Where else?

“I—We were just—” Every explanation sounds more absurd as you try to find the words.

“Just—don't. Please, just get dressed,” Jules interrupts, still not looking at you.

Nodding, you quickly grab the first clothes you can find, not bothering to check if they’re yours or if they’re clean. Within seconds, you're awkwardly pulling on a white shirt featuring a pickle wearing aviators, captioned Dill With It, and squeezing into lime shorts that are definitely a bit too snug and short for your taste.

“I'm decent,” you announce, hoping your voice doesn’t betray how flustered you feel.

Right then, Leigh emerges from downstairs, looking bewildered by the commotion. “What’s going on?” she asks, eyes darting between her flustered sister and you in your bizarre outfit.

Jules lowers her hands slowly, peeking out with one eye before fully facing you. Her irritation is palpable as she glares at Leigh. 

“You said I could borrow your charger from your bedroom!” Jules exclaims, her finger quivering slightly as she points it at her sister.

Leigh blinks, her lips twitching as she fights the urge to laugh. She sneaks a glance at you, your face now resembling a ripe tomato from embarrassment, and mutters almost absentmindedly, “I assumed she'd still be asleep.”

Jules huffs, “Whatever.” She strides over to Leigh's desk, grabbing the charger with a dramatic flourish. You stand frozen, barely breathing. As Jules heads for the door, she pauses, crinkling her nose as if a new thought has just occurred to her. She turns, eyes narrowed slightly in disgust. 

“And open a window, would you? It smells like a brothel in here. Gross.” With that parting shot, she's gone.

Leigh lets out a breath and shakes her head. She steps closer and wraps her arms around you, her laughter bubbling up. “Well, that was something,” she says, coming over to wrap you in a hug. She gives your shirt a playful tug. “You kind of rock the pickle look, though.”

“It's a new trend,” you joke, pulling her a little closer. As you do, you lean in to kiss her cheek softly, whispering, “Good morning.”

Leigh smiles and leans in to kiss you on the lips, but you instinctively bring up your fingers to your mouth, mumbling, “I haven’t brushed yet.”

Unfazed, Leigh simply pries your fingers away and presses her lips firmly against yours. It's a quick but solid peck, leaving you both smiling.

“Morning breath doesn't scare me,” she murmurs, tracing a finger down your throat to your clavicle. “Besides, after last night, I think a little morning breath is nothing we can't handle.”

Grinning, you dive back in for another kiss, deeper this time, as Leigh starts steering you backward towards the bed. Just as the back of your knees hit the mattress, a rumble from your stomach interrupts the moment—loud, untimely, and embarrassingly intolerant.

Leigh chuckles, her forehead resting against yours as she catches her breath. “Guess that's my cue to feed you something other than kisses,” she says with a smirk, pulling back and offering her hand to help you up. “Come on, Jules made breakfast.”

Gratefully, you take her hand, letting her lead you out of the bedroom.

-

“Forget that research gig, I'm heading straight to America's Got Talent,” Suzie jokes, staggering back to the table after a spirited, if slightly wobbly, rendition of Total Eclipse of the Heart. She's already half-drunk but radiates happiness, her performance having drawn cheers and hearty sing-alongs from the crowd at the karaoke bar.

She flops down in her chair, cheeks flushed and grinning, as your group erupts in cheers and claps. Tomorrow is Suzie's last day, and you had her pick the venue for her farewell party. Knowing how much she loves to sing during downtime at the clinic, a karaoke bar was an obvious choice.

“Here's to Suzie!” you shout, trying to be heard over the sound of a couple belting out a ballad on stage. “For the longest time, you've been the clinic's backbone and heartbeat. We never would've made it without you. You'll be terribly missed, but remember, our door is always open for you.”

The table erupts in cheers before everyone empties the glasses they're holding up. You drop back into your seat, feeling a little dizzy after that round. It's a small group—just you, Suzie, Foreman, Sara, and your maintenance guys, Joey and Mike.

Suzie suddenly leaps to her feet, glass raised high. “And a huge shout-out to the hottest boss I've ever had the pleasure of working ‘under’!” she yells, punctuating her words with a devious wink. Your team bursts into laughter, their uproar drawing whistles and applause from some folks at nearby tables. Sara chimes in with a spirited “Hear, hear!”, while Foreman simply rolls his eyes, a hint of envy in his expression—he's already made a pass at Sara and was swiftly rejected.

You wave your hands dismissively. “Alright, alright, let's not give everyone the wrong idea,” you say, your cheeks reddening a bit from both the attention and the alcohol. Just as you're about to retake your seat, feeling the room sway slightly with your tipsiness, your phone vibrates in your pocket. You fumble it out to see Leigh's name lighting up the screen. You’d texted her this morning inviting her to join the farewell, but her busy schedule had made her confirmation uncertain.

You excuse yourself and stumble slightly as you rise, steadying your hand on the back of your chair. Weaving through the tables, you find a quieter spot near the entrance of the bar to answer the call.

“Hey,” you say, pressing the phone to your ear, your voice dropping as you move away from all the ruckus. “Everything okay?”

“Hey,” Leigh's voice cuts in, a bit choppy and barely audible over the blaring speakers. “I'm outside of the... Brass Gibbon? Am I at the right place?”

You miss the last part of her sentence. “Sorry? Can you say that again?”

Strangely, you catch Leigh's deep sigh perfectly. “I said I'm outside,” she repeats.

“Oh! Hang on, I'm coming out.”

You dash out of the restaurant and spot Leigh leaning against the wall. You can’t help but rush over and wrap her in a tight bear hug. It’s only been two days since you woke up in her bed, but you’ve already missed seeing her, smelling her, feeling her in your arms.

She laughs and returns the hug. As she tries to pull away, you tighten your grip, holding her for a few more precious seconds. She relents with a soft chuckle, patting you lightly on the back. When you finally let go, her eyes roam fondly over your face, taking in your slightly flushed cheeks and dreamy stare. Seeing this, her smile only widens.

“Someone's had a few too many,” she teases.

You hiccup and try to defend yourself, “I’ve just had three—no, four!”

Leigh smirks and shakes her head. “Four, huh? Must've been some party,” she says, taking your hand. As Leigh leads you back toward the bar, you find yourself gazing down at your intertwined hands, a goofy grin spreading across your face. You giggle softly to yourself, slightly buzzed and thoroughly enchanted by the simple act of holding her hand.

Upon reaching your table, Suzie waves enthusiastically to get Leigh's attention. Leigh responds with a bright, “Hello, everyone!” as you both approach the group. There’s a moment where everyone looks expectantly at you, waiting for an introduction. Momentarily distracted by Leigh's presence, you get a nudge and a whisper from Suzie sitting next to you, “Introduce her, you goof!”

Quickly regaining your composure, you turn slightly, still holding Leigh’s hand. “Everyone, this is Leigh,” you announce, proud and slightly nervous. Everyone takes turns shaking her hand and introducing themselves. You watch anxiously as Sara stands up to greet Leigh, but Leigh's smile never fades, and a wave of calm washes over you as you observe your team warmly interacting with your—

“Is she your girlfriend?” Foreman asks overtly. The room goes quiet. Everyone's eyes swing between you and Leigh, waiting.

You're stuck, words lodged somewhere in your chest, not sure what to say or how to say it.

And then Leigh beats you to it.

“Yes.”

You blink, staring at Leigh, flooded with relief and suddenly feeling very, very horny.  When Leigh notices your dazed look, her face switches to concern. “You okay?” she asks. Before you can answer, she’s already grabbing your hand, turning to everyone, “Excuse us, Y/N's not feeling great.”

You're still reeling from her bold affirmation and too captivated by Leigh to piece together a coherent thought. The next thing you know, you're being guided—rather roughly—into one of the bathroom stalls, your back pressed against the door as Leigh locks it behind you.

Leigh leans in close, her breath hot against your ear. “You shouldn't be wearing your white doctor's coat out like this,” she murmurs.

You open your mouth to explain—it was chilly, and beneath the coat, all you had on was a skimpy black strappy dress. But as Leigh slides the coat from your shoulders, her lips find your earlobe, gently nibbling. The words die in your throat, replaced by a sharp intake of breath. Leigh pushes you harder against the door, her body pinning yours with surprising force. That's when you feel it—the unmistakable hardness of a strap beneath her pants. A deep, needy moan spills from you as she starts grinding against you.

How did you miss the pronounced bulge in the tight jeans she wore to meet everyone? Was this part of her plan? The nerve of it—meeting everyone, introducing herself so confidently and casually, all while planning to take you here, in a public bathroom. It's almost as if she was silently bragging to your team, “Yeah, I’m about to fuck your boss in a public bathroom. Nice to meet you.”

The thought alone makes you soak your panties. Despite the thrill, the risk of getting caught in public makes you hesitate. “Leigh, they’re waiting for us,” you protest weakly.

Leigh just grins against your skin. “But I'm not done making you feel better,” she whispers slowly, making you clench your thighs together from how hoarse her voice has gotten. Her hands are deft as she bunches your dress around your waist and begins to unzip her pants. All the while, she deposits open-mouthed kisses along your neck, leaving a trail of saliva in their wake. 

“Leigh…” you whine, unsure if you're trying to make her stop or urging her on out of impatience. She just smirks, that knowing look in her eyes telling you she’s got you right where she wants you. Before you can protest again, she pulls you into a deep, toe-curling kiss that melts your doubts away.

Then, you see it. Leigh pulls out a seven-inch strap-on, its girth substantial. Her hand barely fits around it as she spits into her palm and coats the silicone with deliberate strokes, preparing it. 

You're teetering on the edge, mind spinning, when Leigh switches things up on you. Suddenly, she’s on her knees, and before you know what’s happening, she’s tugged your panties down. You’re about to react when her tongue hits you, slick and warm, tracing up your pussy.

“Oh my god!” you cry out.

Leigh’s tongue works magic, and she hums against you. “You taste sweeter every time,” she murmurs, just before her tongue dives back in for more. You can only moan in response, words failing you completely as pleasure builds. Just when you’re about to peak, Leigh pulls away, leaving you hanging on the brink. She stands quickly, grabs the strap-on, and steps closer. Her grin is wicked as she rubs the toy against your slick folds, coating it with your arousal. When the thick head nudges your clit, you can’t help but curse out loud.

“Leigh! Fuck!”

Leigh clamps a hand over your mouth, her eyes widening slightly as she hears someone enter the bathroom. She gives you a quick, commanding look, silently instructing you to wrap your legs around her. As you comply, the toy squeezes tighter in your folds, making you shudder.

“Put your arms around my shoulders, hold tight,” she murmurs, breathless from the effort she’s exerting to hold you up. She guides the tip of the cock to your entrance. “Ready?” she asks softly. You nod, pressing your face into the crook of her neck to drown out any sounds. Without another word, Leigh thrusts into you in one swift motion. The size is a shock, and you bite down on her neck to stifle a cry, the slight pain mingling with deep pleasure. Sensing your need to adjust, Leigh holds back, her body taut yet patient, giving you a moment. Once you give a slight nod against her neck, Leigh starts moving again, slowly at first. 

She continues thrusting into you, speeding up just a little, her lips just inches from your ear. “I've been thinking about this, fucking you like this,” she whispers.

Dumb with pleasure, you gasp out, “H-Here?”

“Not here, silly,” she breathes out, her rhythm faltering slightly as a particular thrust grazes her clit just right. The strap-on drags tantalizingly against your walls as she pulls out, then sinks back in deep, hitting spots that light you up from the inside. Leigh’s fucking you like the strap is a true extension of hers. For a second there, you wish it were. 

“Ideally, I'd have you in your bed, where you can scream your l-lungs out,” Leigh whimpers as her movements grow more and more out of control. She drives into you relentlessly, each stroke making you slicker, drawing moans from deep within you. “S-Seeing you tonight... I couldn’t w-wait.”

You've never been so wet, so ready, and every time she pulls back, you feel the absence of her deeply, desperately not wanting this to end.

Leigh changes her approach, drawing back slowly until only the head of her cock remains inside you, before surging forward, slamming into you. Each powerful thrust pins you harder against the door, the sound of your bodies smacking together rocking you into a lust-filled haze. The sheer strength of her movements turns you on even more, making you more slippery, and soon you can practically hear the sound of her fucking you—wet, squelching noises that you're sure anyone nearby can hear.

True enough, you catch the sound of hurried footsteps and the door slamming shut as someone rushes out, likely realizing what's happening. 

With the coast clear, she carefully lowers your legs from her waist, sensing that you’re close but knowing you need more. Just when you think you might lose it, she suddenly pulls out. You barely have time to gasp, ready to curse her for stopping, when she swiftly turns you around and positions you over the toilet, making you brace yourself on the seat.

Without warning, she enters you from behind, the angle allowing her to go deeper. Leigh drags your dress further up your body, her hands roaming over your smooth back before digging into your hips. Your breathing becomes shallower as she continues her unforgiving pace, but you crave more.

Sensing your need, Leigh sneaks a hand in front of you, her fingers finding your swollen clit. She circles it tightly with three fingers, massaging the engorged nub. “Look how big it's grown,” she whispers huskily in your ear. “You're so ready. Practically dripping everywhere.”

You whimper helplessly, tears forming behind your eyelids from the amount of pleasure you’re receiving. 

“I wish I could come in you, fill you up.”

That does it. Your body tenses, and a powerful orgasm crashes over you, making you cry out. Leigh tries to hold you up, supporting your weight as you lose all sensation in your legs.

“Fuck, Leigh!" you moan, trembling. “That was... oh god…”

Leigh doesn't stop, her own need for release driving her forward. Despite your pleas about how sensitive you are, she continues relentlessly, her fingers expertly working your clit again. “Leigh, please,” you whimper, your body overstimulated and trembling. “I can’t—”

“Just one more, baby,” she groans. “I-I’m close.”

At Leigh’s plea, your body, still reeling from the first orgasm, starts building up again. “Oh god, Leigh,” you gasp, feeling the pressure mount once more, your body trembling uncontrollably. Within seconds, you're hurtling toward another peak, your legs shaking as she drives you over the edge. A second, even more intense orgasm rips through you, your cries echoing in the small stall. Leigh finally lets out a low, guttural moan, her own release hitting as she keeps you bent over, her fingers never stopping their assault on your clit until every last wave of pleasure has wracked your body. 

Shortly thereafter, Leigh finally slows, her thrusts easing until she stops completely, still buried deep inside you. She pinches your ass appreciatively, then tests how sensitive you are with a small thrust that has you hissing. She chuckles at your reaction, taking pity on you. Bending over, she kisses your cheek and whispers, “I'm gonna pull out now, okay?”

You nod weakly, still catching your breath. Leigh begins to withdraw slowly, her eyes fixed on the junction of your bodies. She watches, fascinated, as she draws back, the wet tendrils stretching and finally snapping from your pussy to her cock. 

“Look at you,” she murmurs in awe, half to herself, as she finally frees herself completely and tucks the strap back inside her pants.

“Are you okay?” she asks, noticing you’ve been in the same position longer than usual.

“Yeah, just give me a minute... or five,” you reply with a breathless laugh.

She laughs softly too, then helps you pull your panties up from your ankles. Once you're somewhat decent, she sits on the toilet lid and pulls you into her lap, resting her forehead on your chest, eyes closed, her breath steady on your sternum. You weave your fingers into her hair, massaging her scalp gently. Leigh sighs contentedly, but then her voice turns apologetic. 

“I'm sorry for… I literally lost control. It's just... I keep seeing you and thinking of February, when I have to go and I—”

“I know what you mean,” you interrupt softly, tilting her head towards you with fingers under her chin. “I don't want to waste a single moment.”

Leigh nods, then quickly buries her face in your chest to hide her watery eyes, her head nestled comfortably against your breast.

For a while, you just hold each other without saying anything, content even in the cramped space of the stall. After a while, you gently suggest, “We should get back. Don’t want to give the staff any ideas.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Leigh says, lifting her head to meet your eyes. 

She helps you to your feet, both of you adjusting your clothes, sharing a quiet, knowing smile. With one last kiss, you step out of the stall together.

When you and Leigh return to the group, it's clear they're more inebriated than when you left. Except Suzie. The smirk that spreads across her face as soon as she sees you gives away that she's pieced together what happened between you and Leigh. Your cheeks flush immediately, providing Suzie all the confirmation she needs. Without missing a beat, she guides you both back to the booth and strategically sits between you and Leigh, still smirking.

“Thanks for coming, Leigh,” Suzie says, offering Leigh a beer.

Leigh accepts the drink, taking a large gulp before saying, “Sorry for crashing your party.”

“No, you’re not,” Suzie says with an impish grin. “I told Y/N to invite you. I wanted to meet you properly before I go.”

“Oh?” Leigh looks up from her drink. “Why’s that?”

“Suzie—” you try to interject.

Suzie holds up a finger to shush you. Leigh's eyebrow arches at the gesture, clearly feeling provoked by your former receptionist's antics. You tense up for a moment, worried Suzie might say something offensive to Leigh.

Instead, she grins and says, “I wanted to meet the reason my boss stares into space half the time.”

You shoot Suzie a deathly glare, but she just laughs. 

“Really?” Leigh asks, amused. “That bad, huh?”

Suzie nods, enjoying every second. “Oh, yeah. It’s been fun watching her daydream.”

The rest of the group laughs and then Foreman accidentally spills his drink down his shirt, drawing everyone’s attention. Taking advantage of the distraction, Suzie leans in closer to Leigh, her expression becoming earnest.

“I might not be Y/N’s best friend,” she tells her, “but consider this a friendly warning from someone who cares about her just as much. Don’t break her heart, okay?”

Leigh meets her gaze head on and says, “I don’t plan on it.”

“Good,” Suzie says, rising from her seat. “Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to kick off the second set of my concert tonight.”

-

Leigh doesn’t mention Suzie’s little warning to you, choosing to keep it to herself. Yet, as she spends more time with you, those words linger in the back of her mind, subtly coloring her perceptions and the way she observes your interactions. It’s not something she dwells on openly, but it’s there, quietly guiding her along the way. 

You don’t tell Leigh how she’s been everything you could ever ask for these past few weeks, but you've noticed. You see her thoughtfulness in the small things—like how she always brings you your favorite coffee just the way you like it, or the way she listens, really listens, giving you her undivided attention when you talk about your day, no matter how trivial the details. And it's clear she's not holding back; she's refreshingly candid. Leigh shares everything that's on her mind, effortlessly expressing how your words or actions impact her, for better or worse—a true companionship.

The sex gradually tapered off, but your longing for Leigh has only grown—not just in a sexual sense. You miss her in the mornings when she's makeup-free, leaving a small mark of drool on your pillow. During the day, you wish you could grab lunch with her or talk about the new book you spotted in a shop window, especially after deep discussions about its author. You long to share every detail of your day with her, to hear her take on the little things, to see her in your dreams.

Simply put, you find yourself wanting her around all the time.

It's risky to find yourself wanting her even more than you already do, but you've long since surrendered control over your own heart. It feels like being a prisoner on death row, helplessly waiting for the inevitable moment she leaves LA for her tour.

-

One evening, Leigh surprises you with a picnic dinner at the park. She finds the perfect spot under a massive oak tree and lays down a cozy blanket. From her basket, she pulls out a homemade lasagna that’s still warm and a grazing box loaded with your favorite cheeses and cold cuts. 

As you settle down, Leigh pulls out a bottle of wine and two glasses. She winks, assuring you she definitely got permission to take it from her mom’s cellar.

You smile, watching her pour the wine. “So.. what’s the occasion?”

Leigh shrugs as she hands you a glass of wine, her smile easy. “I just wanted to do something nice for you,” she says simply.

You take a sip, enjoying the flavor, but there’s a nagging feeling you just can’t seem to shake off. 

“You've been going all out for me lately,” you quip, keeping your tone light. “What's this really about?”

Leigh’s smile fades just a touch, though her eyes remain hopeful. She takes a deep breath.

“I spoke with Matt's publisher,” she starts cautiously. “I’ve officially agreed to go on the tour. They've sorted out all the details—the itinerary, the places, everything.”

The news doesn't surprise you. You've been expecting this; neither you nor Leigh can keep avoiding the inevitable, hiding behind the rush of desire you have for each other, the comfortable days that are, you both know, numbered.

You fall silent for a while, simply lying down with your head in Leigh's lap. She seems taken aback at first, but quickly adjusts to make you more comfortable. You look up at her, smiling, finding her face and the night sky an unbelievably stunning match.

Leigh gives you a funny look, her brow furrowing slightly. “Did you hear what I said?” she asks.

“Yeah, I heard you,” you mumble, still distracted by her face. Then, as an afterthought, you whisper, “You were always going to go.”

She nods, looking upward, her eyes glistening as she tries to blink back tears.

“Are you going alone?” you ask.

Leigh takes a moment, then shakes her head slightly. “Danny might come too,” she admits. “But with his new job in Vegas, I doubt he’ll be able to.”

As you absorb her words, you realize why you asked. Maybe part of you had sensed it, maybe you needed the confirmation. Regardless, you know you have no say in the matter. If Danny is there, at least someone can look out for Leigh.

You hadn't noticed you'd voiced your thoughts about Danny possibly joining her until Leigh says, “I can handle myself just fine, you know.”

“Of course, you can,” you reply quickly, “but that won’t stop me from worrying.”

She gives you a soft smile and starts toying with your hair, gently pulling strands and braiding them. The slight tugs as she twists your hair into braids lull you into an almost sleepy state. You're drifting on the edge of dozing off when her voice, soft and tender, pulls you back. 

“I love you.”

Your eyes snap open. Leigh’s refrained from saying it during sex, and not that you’ve been counting, but it’s the third time. It takes you a few seconds to process, your heart catching up with your mind, and then you notice Leigh's amused smile. 

“I love you, too,” you whisper back. You can sense that your statement simultaneously makes her both happy and sad. You wish you could make it all joy, all the time.

But that’s not how life works.

Leigh bends down, her lips brushing softly against yours before she pulls away, her breath warm on your face. “Do you think this would be easier if we hadn't said those three words to each other?” she whispers, her eyes searching yours for an answer.

You sigh, mulling over her question. “I honestly don't know,” you say, voice soft but certain. “But I couldn’t have kept it to myself, not with how I feel about you. All I know is I love you, whether you’re leaving or staying.”

Leigh's eyes well up again, but this time she lets the tears fall. She leans in, her forehead resting against yours. “Thank you,” she murmurs. 

“For what?” you ask curiously, sitting up.

Leigh wipes her tear with a dainty finger, then traces the line of your jaw before pecking you on the lips.

“For being you,” she whispers. “And for showing me that life can go on in any number of ways.”

[gingiesworld]

At My Worst

Chapter One

18+ MINORS DNI

Warnings: Reader is intersex.

Taglist: @username23345

Leigh Shaw X Fem Reader

After Matt had died, I never truly thought that I would be happy again. Even when I had tried to move on with Danny. Yes, he is my dead husband's brother. Even with Danny I was never free from the grief. The hold Matt had over me even after learning what I did about him and a colleague. So it ruined everything between Danny and I so I cut ties with him. Hoping it would help me find my solace in a dark place. And I did, I found her unexpectedly.

Leigh was just trying to do her usual things after she had cut every tie that she had with her dead husband and his brother. Wanting to move on with her life, wanting to feel free. That was when she bumped into Y/N unexpectedly.

"Hi, are you ok?" She asked Leigh as she steadied her on her feet.

"I'm ok." Leigh nodded as she smiled stiffly.

"Are you sure?" She questioned as Leigh nodded unsurely. "Do you want a drink and maybe you can tell me a little about that sad life you have."

"How do you know it's sad?" Leigh challenged as Y/N smirked.

"Just by looking in your eyes. You smile tells people you're ok but your eyes tell another story." She told her. "I'm Y/N."

"Leigh." She took Y/N's hand and shook it.

"So, how about that drink?" Y/N questioned as Leigh nodded. The two making their way to the bar. "So what are you having?"

"A martini please." She requested as Y/N ordered a beer.

"So, why do you look like the saddest person here?" Y/N questioned as she took a sip of her beer.

"How can you tell I'm sad?" Leigh smirked as Y/N chuckled.

"Because you look sadder than I feel." Y/N smiled as Leigh sighed.

"I lost my husband a couple of years ago." Leigh spoke honestly. "I uh recently also cut ties with his brother who I had a sexual relationship with."

"Wow." Y/N whispered as Leigh chuckled.

"I know. It's messed up." She waved off as Y/N shook their head.

"No, it was just a lot to digest." Y/N told her. "We all have our different ways of grieving. You tried to move on and it just didn't work out."

"You sound like you know." Leigh chuckled as Y/N nodded.

"Well, I never lost a wife but I lost my family." She stated as Leigh gave her look of sadness. "It was about three years ago, I was on tour and we were helping the villagers with supplies and we were ambushed. None of us expected it but only a couple of us survived the ambush."

"I'm sorry." Leigh whispered as Y/N shook her head.

"It's ok." She smiled. "I was honorably discharged and now I am working as a prison guard."

"Seriously?" She questioned as Y/N nodded.

"Yeah, it's the kind of job I'm used to." Y/N shrugged as Leigh nodded. "But what I'm trying to say is that you won't be sad forever Leigh." Y/N stood up and paid for their drinks before they started to leave. Leigh jumping to her feet and following them.

"Y/N, can I see you again?" She asked with a nose scrunch.

"I would love that." Y/N smiled before writing down their number on a piece of paper from the pad in their pocket. "Text me when you get home safe." With that Y/N had left a smiling Leigh and for the first time she felt like she was genuinely happy. Like meeting Y/N was meant to be.

And so the two had conversed a lot through text a lot. Amy even had suspicions as she would see Leigh smile brightly as she typed away on her phone.

"Who have you been texting?" She questioned her daughter. "You have been smiling at your phone for over a week."

"Y/N." Leigh stated as she shrugged.

"Who is this Y/N?" Jules questioned as she joined in the conversation.

"We met last week at the bar. She bought me a drink and we just started talking." Leigh told them.

"Do you like her?" Amy questioned as Leigh laughed. "There's nothing wrong with it if you do Leigh. You deserve to be happy and if this Y/N makes you happy, go for it."

"Yeah." Leigh smiled. "Even just by text she makes everything not feel as dark anymore. I don't want to cry or scream all the time anymore."

"You're moving on." Jules smiled softly as Leigh nodded.

"I am moving on." Leigh told them both before she decided to make a bold move and ask Y/N out on their days off. "I'm going to start being the source of my own happiness."

"That's awesome." Amy smiled as she hugged Leigh. Although they all would miss Matt dearly since he was a part of their family for so many years, Leigh deserved to live a happy life out of the shadow of grief.

So she bit the bullet, asked Y/N out to go to the same bar they had met. Leigh was nervous as she stood at the bar, wearing a dark green dress as she nursed a martini, hoping to calm her nerves.

"Hey pretty lady." She heard someone speak beside her.

"I am waiting on someone." Leigh stated bluntly without sparing a glance.

"I know." Y/N smirked. "Hi." Leigh smacked her arm as Y/N just laughed at her. "But seriously, you look beautiful Leigh."

"Thank you." Leigh blushed as she ordered another drink and a beer for Y/N.

"So, you said you wanted to talk." Y/N smiled as she took a sip of her beer.

"I think I like you." Leigh blurted out. "Like a lot because I haven't this light in a very limg time and you only live once right."

"Leigh." Y/N started softly as Leigh sighed shaking her head.

"I'm sorry." She downed her drink. "I just that we may be had something special and thought I would take a leap but you don't feel the same. I get it Y/N. See you around." With that Leigh started to walk away as Y/N paid for their drinks before chasing after Leigh.

"You didn't let me finish Leigh." Y/N called after her as Leigh didn't stop running from her. Y/N reached for Leigh's wrist and turned her around to face her. Lips meeting in an unexpected kiss under the moonlight as cars passed by. Not caring about the people passing by. "I haven't stopped thinking about you since the moment we met Leigh." Y/N confessed as their foreheads rested against one another. "It's just not easy for me to show my feelings since I have been closed off for so long from everyone. Until you." Y/N gazed into her green orbs. "You make me want to be a better person than I ever was."

"You're a war hero." Leigh stated as Y/N shook her head.

"I'm barely a hero Leigh, but if you would let me, I can be your hero." Y/N spoke as Leigh chuckled. "I know. I'm a cheesy clichè."

"Yeah you are." Leigh smiled as she calmed down. "But I would love nothing more." Y/N leaned in and kissed her once more, making a silent promise to make her happy for as long as they could.

[limarieb]

☾main masterlist☽

*updated as of April 24, 2024

Welcome to my blog! Some of you may know me from ao3 (limarieee) or from Wattpad (mackiebeth); however, I figured I should expand my works to Tumblr. Here, you will be able to access all of my available works as they are released on the platform.

Click here to visit the b-side of limarieb [18+ only].

FAQ

Who even am I? That is a very good question! My name is Beth, and I am a student from the US. Given my age (18+), I advise that minors tread carefully around my content. Though I tend to stay around the 16+ range of maturity with my writing, I will state which posts are strictly NSFW (or otherwise claimed to be "minors DNI"). Purposeful avoidance of this rule will result in a ban from my blog. Otherwise, please feel free to reach out on any platform — I love to talk to everyone!

Who do I write for? I mainly write for Wanda Maximoff, but I also write for Natasha Romanoff and other Elizabeth Olsen characters. Some other characters in non-MCU fandoms I dabble with include Beca and Chloe (Pitch Perfect).

Can I request a fic? Of course! As long as my requests are open, you can send a request a fic with the aforementioned characters through this link, or down below.

REQUESTS ARE CURRENTLY: OPEN

MARVEL (MCU)

Wanda Maximoff

[click here for my wanda maximoff masterlist.]

Natasha Romanoff

Nothing to see here yet!

Elizabeth Olsen

high in your arms (*coming soon*)

lonely enough to let you treat me like this (*coming soon*)

Wanda Maximoff x Natasha Romanoff

One-shots

Series

"angels like you" masterlist → hurt/comfort & fluff

Summary: Looking forward to this moment for years, Wanda Maximoff had many feelings and anticipations regarding her transition to university: nervous, yet excited. Despite spending half of her adolescence dreaming about her time at university, she truly had no idea how it would go; however, never in her many dreams would she encounter somebody like Natasha Romanoff, her roommate, for the next year. [college roommate!au]

PITCH PERFECT

Beca Mitchell x Chloe Beale

Nothing to see here yet!

[wandabear]

Hello there!

ㅤㅤㅤ

Welcome home. First: thank you so much for reading me, means a lot.  Here you will find fics (series and oneshots) that I usually write about Elizabeth Olsen's characters and Natasha Romanoff. Gifs are mine. If you’re using them, give the cred. You can't copy or translate my works without my permission. Please, be kind. I don't write male cis het characters, minors dni.

If you like my works and wanna invite me a coffee here, that would be amazing!

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda Maximoff ᱬ ㅤㅤㅤ Natasha Romanoff ⧗

ㅤㅤㅤ Leigh Shaw

ㅤㅤㅤ Jane Banner

ㅤㅤㅤ Gerri Fields ㅤㅤㅤ Martha (Martha Marcy May Marlene)

ㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤ✨ Thank you! ✨

[yelenasdiary]

October Special Information

Okays, so after some thinking, I have decided to give something for everybody to read. So, I'm calling this 'October Special' which will include Kinktober, Flufftober & Darktober!

Below the cut, you'll find everything you need to know before sending me a request. Please read through this carefully, I know it's a long post with a fair bit of information but I'm trying to make this go as smoothly as possible for myself as the writer x.

As always, my blog is 18+ ONLY! Men & Minors, please DNI!

Requests -

~ The deadline to have requests sent is September 23rd (AEST). For anybody outside Australia, this would be September 22nd.

~ Sending a request doesn’t guarantee it will be written, I may get an overwhelming amount of requests for this & if that happens, I simply cannot write them all.

~ When sending a request, please state if you want Reader to be fem or GN! If you want Reader to have a penis in the fic, please mention if you want them to be Fem, GN or AFAB/AMAB.

Kinktober -

~ When requesting, please mark your request with "For Kinktober", if you don't I will just assume your request isn't for the event.

Here is a list of what I am comfortable with writing & what I am not comfortable writing. Please read these carefully, if you send a request that I am not comfortable with, I will delete it without an explanation.

Comfortable With: Daddy/Mommy kinks, Con Non Con, Character x Character, Character x Reader, Breeding Kink, Voyeurism, Desperation, Toys, Bondage, Double Penetration, Lactation Kink, Somnophilia, Exhibitionism. FAB! Reader with a penis and/or Character with a penis.

Not Comfortable With: Scat, Incest, Pedophilia, Character x Male Reader, Body Shaming, R*pe, Racism, Age Regression in a sexual setting.

I do not write smut for celebrity x reader. I only write smut for female fictional characters x reader.

Flufftober -

~ When requesting, please mark your request with "For Flufftober", if you don't I will just assume your request isn't for the event.

~I will write fluff for platonic, age regressed reader and family based fics! So when requesting, please state if the relationship within your idea is romantic, platonic, age regressed reader or family based (meaning Character x Sibling! Reader or Character x Daughter! Reader).

If you have any further questions, please don't hesitate to message me! x

Darktober -

~ When requesting, please mark your request with "For Darktober", if you don't I will just assume your request isn't for the event.

What I'm Comfortable With Writing: Dark Angst such as, gore, murder, kidnapping, mentions of SA, drugs, blood, childhood trauma, PTSD topics etc.

What I'm Not Comfortable With Writing: Details of r*pe. Like I mentioned above, I am fine with mentions but not detailing the event. Detailed racism, I’m okay with mentions such as “So and so was racist” & I will not write body shaming content in detail.

If you have any further questions, please don't hesitate to message me! x

Extra Details -

~ I will post a fic every Monday, Wednesday & Friday for this special, giving you all a total of 13 fics. Again, for all those outside Australia, this will be every Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday.

~ All fics will be posted at 5PM AEST. If for any reason I will be late posting, I'll make a post about it.

~ I will not have a seperate taglist for this, if you want to be tagged for any of my work, please leave a comment on THIS POST

Who I Write For -

If somebody isn’t listed here, it doesn’t necessarily mean I won’t write for them. Please remember that I DO NOT write smut for Celebrity x Reader. Smut is only for Fictional Character x Reader.

Yelena Belova (Marvel)

Wanda Maximoff // The Scarlet Witch (Marvel)

Natasha Romanoff (Marvel)

Kate Bishop (Marvel)

Agatha Harkness (Marvel)

Melina Vostokoff (Marvel)

Emily Prentiss (Criminal Minds)

Charlie Ross (The Little Drummer Girl)

Kelly Foster (We Brought a Zoo)

Jane Banner (Wind River)

Leigh Shaw (Sorry For You Loss)

Alice Chambers (Don’t Worry Darling)

Taylor Sloane (Ingrid Goes West)

Any Variant Character on THIS LIST

Florence Pugh

Elizabeth Olsen

Scarlett Johansson

+ More

With that, I can't wait to give you all something for all to read and enjoy! I'm excited to see what you guys come up with! If you have any further questions, concerns or if you're confused on anything, please don't hesitate to send me a message or ask.

[taschamonnii]

Imagine This  - Sink

You x Leigh Shaw (Sorry For Your Loss - Elizabeth Olsen) 

Angst/Fluff

Summary: Anonymous asked:

TW!

Would you be able to write a Leigh Shaw x reader where the reader struggles to eat and Leigh comforts them?

It's totally fine if that goes too far and you feel uncomfortable writing this

You are married to Leigh Shaw and life has been pretty good but everyone has bad days luckily you are not alone and Leigh is the most supportive caring wife.  

TW: Eating Disorder, Struggling to eat, mental illness, depression, anxiety

Here is the title song: Suffocate by James Quick & Lauren Sanderson

Specifically “Can I justify the days I barely eat, If I starve until my cheeks can’t help but sink? How deep can I go ‘till it’s too deep? If you hear me start to choke, please reach for me.”

Read On Ao3

AN: I loved writing this thank you for the request! I hope you enjoy it. I tried not to make it too triggering to folks who struggle to eat but please read with your own mental health in mind.

Word Count: 3,028

Imagine This:

The day seemed to really drag on. There was nothing particularly good or bad about the day but you just felt off. Your motivation was lacking and you just felt low. Sadness over nothing, in particular, was seeping into your bones. You figured maybe it was hormones and tried to keep up your routines. You pushed through the day looking forward to dinner time. Leigh has been out of town all week at a writing thing with Drew but everyday she has face-timed you for dinner and you eat together and talk about the things you usually would if she was home. You miss her like crazy but she is trying to get her book published and you couldn’t be more proud. 

Married life with Leigh has been the best part of your life. You met her at a grief group two years ago and she changed your life. When your wife died in a terrible car accident four years ago you were certain that you would never love again and for sure no one could ever love you but Leigh was different. Your wife had been your high school sweetheart and was one of the only people who could handle your depression, anxiety, and your eating disorder. You are alive today because of your wife. When she died a part of you died with her you fell off the recovery wagon and lost a lot of weight really fast. Your sister-in-law was the only reason you managed to pick yourself back up enough to join a grief group and start your healthy relationship with food again. That is when you met Leigh. 

Leigh was not like the rest of the grief group; she was real and honest and raw. You quickly became friends with her and the only other widow who was your age, Becca. You became really close with Leigh and it seemed like overnight you went from friends to more and something about it just made sense. 

You never thought you would love again let alone marry again. Now you are happily married and though both you and Leigh sometimes struggle you are both there for each other and understand what the other is going through. Your relationship with food and exercise has never been better thanks to Leigh and she has never been so in touch with her own feelings. You both agreed not to think too hard about it all neither one of you was religious so it is easier to think that maybe life was just giving you both a break since you have both been dealt some shit cards. 

You are going through emails at work when your cell rings with Leigh’s ringtone. “Hello, beautiful. What’s up?” 

“Hi love, I’m at lunch and well I thought I’d call you while I can since I have to cancel our dinner call tonight.”

“What why?”

“Drew and I are having dinner with a publisher. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, that is great! No, don't apologize, Leigh, I'm excited for you! I know how long of a journey writing this book has been and I just know people are going to love it.”

“Thanks, y/n. I miss you. Ugh, I have to go, fingers crossed, this publisher wants it so I can come home tomorrow. I love you y/n!”

“I am sure they will buy it! I miss you too, be safe. I love you too. Oh and text me when you can!”

“I will! Love you, bye!”

“Love you, bye!”

You hung up and let out a heavy sigh. You were happy for Leigh but you also missed her. The rest of the day dragged on. By the time you get home, you are exhausted. The motivation to cook yourself dinner and actually eat it was beyond lacking. You wanted to go to bed, you wanted to cry and you were not entirely sure why. Instead, you forced yourself to stick to your routines. You completed a workout cleaned up around the house in hopes that Leigh would be home tomorrow. You got into comfy clothes and then found yourself repeatedly opening the fridge and cabinets trying to decide what to make yourself for dinner. 

The more you open the fridge and think about what you could eat the more the tears begin to well up in your eyes. You know you should be hungry but you aren’t. You quickly turn on your music to try and distract your mind but shuffle has decided to instead aid your mental breakdown as the familiar sad song sink begins to play and you feel the tears escape your eyes. 

The second the first teardrop falls from your cheek you take a shaky breath. You are exhausted and angry that you are struggling right now with food when it has been so long since you had an episode. You curse to yourself “I hate this I hate you why do I have to struggle with eating it’s just food! It’s just fucking food!”

The tears are now rolling down your cheeks faster than you can blink them away. Soft sobs leave your lips as you decide to just make mac n cheese because you already know you won't be able to chew for a long time without wanting to spit the food out. You get all the things you need out through your blurry teary eyes. The tears just won't stop and you are over trying to stop them. You get the stupid food done and sit down on the couch and turn on an old sitcom hoping it would bring you comfort and make eating easier. It doesn’t. Your mind races and all the things that make eating difficult for you swirl in your mind louder than the show. You take a bite of the food and quickly chew it forcing yourself to swallow. More tears fall from your eyes as a loud sob leaves you. 

You are sobbing so loudly that you don’t hear the front door open and the familiar jingle of keys. You are lost in your mind battling the voices that are telling you to throw the food away. You are crying so hard that it takes a full 2 minutes to hear your own name coming from the person that is wrapped around you. Once your brain catches up to your body and you realize you are being held by Leigh you sink into the embrace. 

“Leigh?” 

You question through a sob.

“Yes y/n. I’m here. Can you please take deep breaths with me?”

You nod your head in agreement and try to focus on the feeling of Leigh breathing while holding you tight to her chest. You realize then that the bowl of food is no longer in your hands and you grab at Leigh’s shirt and instantly feel a sense of relief fill you. You sighed out in relief as your body finally calmed down. You moved to face Leigh but kept yourself in her embrace. “I’m sorry Leigh.”

“Hey, no we don’t apologize and feel bad when we are struggling, we talk through it. What happened?”

“That’s just it. I am not sure. After you called the day just became exhausting but I was good. When I came home I stuck to the routine, I worked out but when it came to choosing food, I just lost it and started crying and that just made me more upset because it has been so long. I thought I was doing so well.”

“You are doing really well, y/n. We talked about this, bad days are going to happen and I am proud of you for fighting to stay strong. A year ago you would have gone straight to bed instead you worked out and managed to make food and it looks like you even got a couple of bites in. That is huge y/n.”

Your gaze fell to your hands still tightly clinging to Leigh’s t-shirt. You feel terrible, you are exhausted and feel weak for having a bad day. 

“Look at me y/n,” Leigh held both your cheeks in her hands and gently pulled your face up to look at her, “I am so proud of you.”

She leaned closer and pressed her lips to your forehead then each cheek and then your chin. You melted into the softness letting her words sink in and push the bad thoughts out. You moved to capture her lips in a desperate kiss. You kissed her with all the love you could give her trying desperately to say thank you with your lips. Thank you for loving me, for knowing me, for being you. You thought to yourself. You pressed closer as she melted into the kiss hoping she could feel how much you loved her. 

She pulled back slowly and rested her forehead against your “I love you too, y/n. I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Leigh so much. Wait,” you pulled back, “why are you home?”

She brushed some of your hair back behind your ear and smiled. “I was hoping to surprise you. I tried to get home before dinner but traffic was crazy. Anyway, surprise! I'm home!”

You lightly tapped her shoulder with your dominant hand and kept your other holding the end of her shirt. “Leigh, I can see that you are home. Now tell me what happened?”

Her smile grew. “Well, Sorry for Your Loss is being published!”

You could feel how big your own smile was the second she said those words. “Leigh, that is incredible! You are incredible! I can’t wait to have my own signed hard copy!”

You were so proud and happy for Leigh you couldn’t contain yourself. She has been writing this book about grief and her experience for so long and it is beautiful and real and finally, the world is going to see it. You quickly squeezed her close in a tight hug. She squeezed you back with soft laughter falling from her lips. “I have to breathe y/n.”

You loosened your grip around her but kept her in your arms “I know I’m just so happy for you! We should celebrate!”

“We can celebrate tomorrow. I don't want to push you.”

You shook your head “no Leigh I’m not letting my head win I want to celebrate how amazing my wife is.” 

She smiled softly “We can celebrate here at home. Why don’t we order in and celebrate just you and I and then this weekend we can go out with everyone to celebrate more? Please I’m tired and I missed you.”

You know what Leigh is doing. She is making it about her instead of the fact that you were literally breaking down when she got home. You sigh knowing that you won’t win this argument. You also know Leigh is right if you went out tonight you might have another breakdown. 

Her hand caressing your cheek pulls you out of your thoughts. “Please y/n.”

Her eyes are so loving that you find yourself nodding in agreement. “Okay fine, but we are definitely celebrating this weekend. I am so proud of you Leigh! I want to scream it out the windows.”

She laughed as she shook her head “I’d prefer if you are going to scream it be other things but food first.” 

Her smirk is pure evil and you can feel your entire face and neck heat up the deep red blush taking over your skin. She quickly pecked your lips before she stood up. “I missed that blush. Now, I’m gonna go change and call for the usual. You throw that away and pick a movie.”

She pointed at the now dry mac n cheese before turning towards the bedroom. You quickly cleaned up your now gross dinner and chose a movie. You settled onto the couch with a pile of blankets just as Leigh returned in a big t-shirt and her sleep shorts. You soaked her in not even caring that she was watching you stare. “Damn I missed you. Did you get more beautiful?” 

She rolled her eyes and shook her head but her smile and blush were clear as day. She moved to her bags at the front door and pulled out a bottle of champagne. Your smile fell from your lips. Leigh probably had a cute plan for tonight but had to come home to your mental breakdown instead. Guilt and shame seep into your bones as negative thoughts begin to swirl in your mind. Thoughts of how much you don’t deserve Leigh, how she deserves so much better. You feel your vision fade the world in front of you a haze as you pick at your cuticles mindlessly. You feel numb, your mind is telling you that you ruin everything and all you want to do is curl up in a ball but you can’t seem to move. 

The pop of the champagne bottle in the kitchen startles you out of your head and you try to shake it off so you don’t ruin things more. You take a deep breath and force a smile hoping that faking it till you make it will work. Leigh enters with two glasses of champagne and a soft smile. She hands you a glass and you take it. She takes a seat next to you and you both turn to face each other. You smile “Leigh I am so proud of you, I know it wasn’t easy to write but you did it and you created a masterpiece about grief and love and it, no, you are truly amazing. Cheers to you for being absolutely incredible.” 

You moved to clink your glass with hers but she stopped you. “I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you. So, cheers to the most supportive wife ever.”

Your smile softened as she clinked her glass with yours. You both took a drink and your body automatically reacted to the fizzy liquid craving more in hopes that the effect of the alcohol would clear your mind. “Hey, y/n slowdown.”

You quickly pulled the glass away from your lips and set the glass down on the coffee table. “Sorry, Leigh.”

She set her glass next to yours and turned back to you. Her hands came up to push your hair back behind your ears. She kept her hands there softly holding your face. “Talk to me, what is going on in that pretty head of yours?”

A sigh escapes you, you feel defeated like you just keep ruining everything. You close your eyes as you feel the tears welling up once again and it makes you frustrated that you are about to cry again. “Hey, it’s okay y/n.”

“No, it’s not. I ruin everything. You brought champagne home you wanted to celebrate and instead, you came home and had to console your crazy wife.”

She brushed her thumbs over your cheeks clearing the tears that escaped as you opened your eyes. “No y/n. You don’t ruin anything.” 

You shake your head as your lip quivers and you fight back more tears. “Listen to me, not the voices in your head, y/n. You are my love, my everything. I love you and you make my life worth living. Hard days are going to happen but we are in this together, right?”

You glance down, her green eyes melting your heart. She lifts your chin. “Look at me. Together?” 

You nod agreeing quickly under her serious stare. “Together.”

She leaned in and captured your lips in a hard kiss. You return it knowing she needs to make sure you understand. She pulls back after a moment and drops her hands from your face to your shoulders and pulls you into a tight embrace. “I love you, y/n.”

“I love you too.” 

She kept you in her arms and you breathed her in, calming at her familiar scent. You don’t know how long she held you like that but she only pulled away when there was a knock at the door. She pecked your cheek before going and getting the delivered food. She brought it over to the coffee table and spread the takeout containers in front of you both. You took a deep breath as you prepared to try and eat the food you usually enjoy. She turned to glance your way and noticed your hesitation. “Hey, will you give me a bite of that?”

She pointed to the container in front of you and you nodded as you picked up the container to hand it to her. She didn’t take it but instead just opened her mouth and wiggled her eyebrows. A smile took over your features in an instant. She hadn’t done this for you in so long because well you hadn’t needed her too but here she was asking you to feed her so she could then feed you like she used to like it was so natural to her. You scrunch your nose and lips as you try to contain your laughter. You quickly grabbed a fork and got some of the food on it before slowly guiding it into her mouth. She dramatically moaned out as she closed her lips around the fork and cleared it. “So good!”

She took the fork from you and scooped up a smaller portion for you, “Here try it babe it’s so good.”

You opened your mouth as she brought the food to your lips and you focused on her smile as you took the food into your mouth. You began to chew it and had to close your eyes for a second as an urge to spit it out overcame you. “Do you taste that? It’s so sweet and savory.”

You focused your attention on trying to taste it instead of the texture and sensation that stuff was in your mouth when your body didn’t want it to be there. When you finally actually tasted the food you sighed and managed to swallow it without too much of a struggle. You gave Leigh a soft smile “Thanks, Leigh.”

“Always y/n.”

A/N: I hope you liked this Anon! Again please know you are not alone sending you nothing but love and support for you to have a healthy relationship with food :) Thank you for the request. I enjoyed writing this one, it was very therapeutic. 

[maximotts]

OMG “i’ll kiss you if you want me to” and “i’m not used to being loved. i wouldn’t know what to do” mixed together with leigh… 👀 only if you want, obv :) <3!!

This was such a fun Leigh prompt!! I combined it with another one I got for her that I thought fit well so this request is a little long, but I hope y'all like it!!

❛ i’ll kiss you if you want me to. ❜ / ❛ i’m not used to being loved. i wouldn’t know what to do. ❜ / ❛ you’ve got an awfully kissable mouth. ❜ + Leigh Shaw; smut, angst that gets resolved, fluff at the end because I'm a soft bitch

1.3K words

f. scott fitzgerald prompts

Leigh squirmed under you, her back arching off the bed as you mouthed over her breasts messily. As soon as you'd undone her bra, you had a one track mind, kissing and licking over every inch of smooth skin her open flannel allowed. Impatient was an understatement with how you were marking her up, savoring how her sounds got louder the more intense you are. “Fuck, Leigh, you’re beautiful.” 

Eventually your hand slid into the front of her gym shorts, fingers teasing over where you found a damp patch of cotton. “On your way to drenching yourself already and I’ve barely touched you… Were you waiting that long for this?”

From her soft gasp, you assumed no one had talked to her like this before, the quick shake of her head confirming. The two of you had fallen into bed together multiple times, but lately things had taken a turn. Your casual dates had turned more romantic, signing your texts off with hearts and sweet goodnight messages. All of this was new for Leigh again; she’d told you all about her past relationships and it warmed her heart how understanding you’d been, never rushing her or pressing for too much. Instead you moved forward subtly, with actions rather than words, but still you always wanted her to be upfront with you. 

Part of the new actions was sex and things or the sort. She hadn’t had much experience past her previous husband; being with women was new and fun, especially with how you taught her. Leigh loved exploring new things with you, there was never a time where you shamed her for her curiosities and desires, even when you found that she liked to be teased about them. “Go on, tell me how much you wanted this.” 

“I…” Nimble fingers bypassed her underwear, rubbing over her folds while she tried to keep her composure. “I called you over just for this.” Leigh was shocked by her own confession, eyes wide as she waited for you to mock her. But it never came. Instead your lips traveled to her nipple, sucking as soon as your fingertips hit her clit and leaving her gasping for air. “Oh, please… just like that…” 

You nodded, laving over the peaked bud as your thumb moved to roll circles at the same time. It was addicting, playing her body just to watch her twist and turn and beg for you, sinking two fingers past her entrance was almost as rewarding as fucking yourself. “God, I love you.” 

“W-What?” Three simple words had her head snapping up, eyes fully focused on your now frozen form. She wasn’t prepared to hear that, had really never bargained for a romantic utterance of that phrase again for the rest of her life. Leigh didn’t hate it, she just hadn’t… thought much of it. But her reaction left you pulling away and the instant she saw hurt twist your features, she regretted selfishly leaving you hanging. “I’m not.. mad. I didn’t ask you to stop.”

“Not mad, you just don’t feel the same.” You tried to shake it off with a chuckle, but you couldn’t hide the hurt you felt. You hadn’t been saying it just to say it… You loved her. Maybe it wasn’t the right time to say it, or maybe it was just you. Maybe she only saw you as something temporary— 

“Please, don’t. Don’t do that.” Leigh pulled you back until you were hovering over her, forced to look down at pleading green eyes. It was hard to explain how she simply didn’t expect it; she felt those feelings, but had instinctively shoved them away. “I love you too, I just…”

“Just what, Leigh? You don’t have to force yourself to say it back. That’s so much worse.” You wanted to believe her, Leigh had never lied to you before; one of the things you loved about her was how honest she was with her feelings. Maybe it made her unlikeable to some, but you adored her for it. But currently, right now, she was hard to accept. 

Leigh sighed, raising her hands just to cradle your face. She could feel you pulling away mentally, your internal spiral threatening to draw you away from her for who knows how long. No matter what her insecurities, Leigh couldn’t lose you, not over her own shortcomings. “I love you. Really, I do, but I'm not used to being loved. I wouldn’t know what to do.” 

She was more out of practice with love than she was sex. True intimacy meant having more to be responsible for, much more to lose if anything went wrong. The possibility of waking up with you not in her life any more scared her more every day, having grown to look forward to your goofy selfies and tight hugs; Leigh wasn’t stupid, she knew what that meant. “I don’t think I’m good at being loved, or loving people well. Sometimes I ask for too much or I’m selfish and I don’t, I can’t hurt you.”

“You could never hurt me.” You leaned down just enough to nose at her chin, just trying to remind yourself that she was real, she wasn’t rejecting you, and this was just another conversation you needed to have. “I can’t think of a time where you ever felt me feel uncared for, even on your worst days. Give yourself more credit.” She wound her arms around your waist, pulling you until you had to lay on her; all she needed was to feel your weight grounding her. Sometimes Leigh needed a physical anchor during serious discussions, good or bad, and you were always happy to provide. “Tell me how you need to be loved and I swear I’ll do everything to never make you think loving you could ever be a burden.”

You flipped the two of you so she could lay on your chest; Leigh yelped with the sudden change, but she understood. Just like she needed to feel grounded, you liked being able to hold her whenever you were at risk of spiraling too deep into your own brain. As soon as Leigh got her bearings, she clung to you like a koala, trying to hold you in place just in case you decided you’d rather leave. As much as she was known for expressing how she felt, this was completely different, vulnerable in a way she hadn’t had a chance to prepare for. The only bit she could offer was small, just a minor thing where, if denied, she could force herself to smile through it. “I like kisses… I feel like we don’t kiss enough.”

It was true, you had a thing about kisses. To you, they were more intimate than most acts and while you’d often give her a quick peck on the cheek goodbye, it was granted her a full kiss— those you held close to your heart. But you loved her, she loved you.. that came with trusting her to value what those kisses meant to you. “I’ll kiss you if you want me to.”

Leigh smiled, nodding eagerly, “I really want you to kiss me, right now.” Green eyes stared down at you, hoping she hadn’t missed her chance from earlier. She couldn’t remember the last time she wanted something so simple so badly, but right now it was important. Every day you proved you loved her and today you'd said it; it was her turn to show it back now. “I love you. Please kiss me.”

She wasn’t an easy girl to crack, but you didn’t love her because she was easy. You loved her because she was human, missteps, fears, and all. Closing the distance was easy, just a few inches separating you, and when you kissed Leigh now, it felt like the first time you ever did. You kissed to convey emotions and thankfully, you had so many for the woman laying on you. “You’ve got an awfully kissable mouth.” 

[somewhatgreatexpectations]

Leave, Then Go (Wanda Maximoff/ Reader)

Hello! Soooo... I did a thing. 

The response was positive, so I went with it. Double Lizzie! Excited to present you with the Wanda/ Leigh crossover! Let me know what you think, I’m actually excited about this!

Summary: Y/n works on mending bridges with Leigh when she meets the alluring Wanda Maximoff. 

After waiting for what felt like hours, the woman you were waiting for finally appeared. You scrambled to your feet as you rushed forward to meet her. Concern immediately took precedent when you were able to fully take in her appearance. 

She looked like a ghost of who she used to be. Beautiful, but void of life. 

The bags under her eyes were prominent and the naturally glimmering emerald eyes that you used to love were dull. Empty. Dark like a storm rather than bright like the sea. Her shoulders were slumped forward with the weight of life when she used to stand so tall before.

It was as though she had been drained of all the light that she used to radiate.

Guilt clawed angrily at your chest. “Leigh.” You breathed out, swallowing down the lump in your throat. 

When she met your eyes, her expression hardened. That was always a special talent of hers. Making you feel small with just a look. “What are you doing here?” 

“Hi Y/n. You look good. Thanks, I did start running again. Green juice, it does wonders.” You sarcastically began a conversation with yourself. If her defense mechanism was being cold, yours was humor. 

Leigh wasn’t amused by your antics in the slightest.

If looks could kill you’d be six feet under now. “What are you doing here?” She repeated in annoyance, heavily emphasizing every word. 

Everything about her posture screamed impatience. “I-I wanted to check on you sooner. I did.” You fearfully watched a disbelieving smile spread across her lips. You knew that look. She was about to tear you apart. “I know! I know. I’m way too late and I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Leigh.” You rushed out, the words clumsily stumbling over one another as they tumbled from your lips. They were sincere though. You hoped she knew that.

“That’s not good enough.” The bite of her words made you flinch. Leigh moved to step around you, but you caught her arm.

You dropped your hand when you noticed her eyes fall to the place you made contact. “I know it’s not.” A heavy sigh escaped your lips. “By the time I heard the news, it had been months. Then it took me months to work up the courage to see you again… The last time we saw each other wasn’t exactly a… fond memory.”

Leigh’s eyes began analyzing you critically. You shifted uncomfortably under the weight of her gaze. “I needed you, Y/n. I needed you and you weren’t there.” Her eyes began to shine slightly with unshed tears.

The shame you felt made it impossible to maintain eye contact with the woman before you. “I know.” You whispered. “And I’m sorry, Leigh. Truly. I am. If you allow me, I’d like to earn your forgiveness. Your trust. To prove I can be there for you and be the friend you need.”

“Friend?” Leigh raised an eyebrow as she loosely crossed her arms. “If my memory serves me correctly that’s the reason you weren’t there in the first place.”

You awkwardly rubbed your arm. “Yes. Friend. I can do that. I can be that for you… If you give me the chance.”

Leigh stared at you intently, her eyes searching yours, for what you didn’t know. “No more grand declarations or ultimatums?” 

“No grand declarations or ultimatums.” You repeated as you smiled hesitantly back at her. 

You desperately tried to beat back the memory that lingered at the forefront of your mind. Of tear stained cheeks and white dresses.

After a tense moment of silence, Leigh nodded. “Probation.” She warned simply with a point of her finger as she moved around you to go into her house.

To say you were surprised would be an understatement. You expected her to tear you apart. Scream at you until she was blue in the face. “I’ll call you?” You called after her unsurely. “We can get coffee?”

“Mmm.” Leigh hummed flippantly over her shoulder, barely audible as she closed the door behind herself.

With a small smile you turned and began walking back in the direction of your own apartment. The conversation had gone better than you had dared to hope it would. Leigh could be cruel when she was hurt, and you knew you had hurt her. Leaving the conversation unscathed felt like nothing short of a miracle. 

___________________________

Lying awake in bed later that night, your mind couldn’t help but wander to Leigh. Not that those thoughts were anything out of the ordinary. Seeing her today though made you worry even more than usual. 

Hey. I don’t know if this is still

your number. It’s Y/n. 

Read 12:14 a.m

You watched the bubble appear and disappear at the bottom of the screen several times before your phone chimed with a reply. 

Is this a booty call?

Sent 12:19 a.m.

What? No! I just wanted

to check on you.

Read 12:20 a.m.

Surprising. 

Sent 12:21 a.m.

Surprising that it’s not

a booty call or surprising

that I’m checking on you?

Read 12:22 a.m.

You tell me.

Sent 12:22 a.m.

I really did want to check

on you, Leigh.

Read 12:24 a.m.

I’m fine. Goodnight.

Sent 12:25 a.m.

Goodnight, Leigh. I’ll be at 

Coffee Code tomorrow morning doing 

some work if you want to stop by.

Read at 12:26 a.m.

After a few minutes of silence, it was clear she wasn’t going to reply, so you allowed your eyes to close as you drifted into a restless sleep. Still haunted by the image of white dresses and tear stained cheeks. 

___________

The bustle of the early morning crowd at the local coffee shop was always a place of serenity for you. The sounds of everyone around you going on with their lives was calming white noise to you and made doing tasks easier. 

“Excuse me?” You looked up and smiled slightly, actually surprised that Leigh had taken you up on your offer. “Do you mind if I sit here with you? It’s pretty crowded.”

Relief was your initial response to seeing her. There was still sorrow in her eyes, but the resentment she regarded you with yesterday had faded. There was an air of shyness that she carried that was unfamiliar to you. 

Leigh was many things but timid was not one of them. “Of course not, I did invite you after all.” 

Her head tilted slightly, and her movements became hesitant as she sat across from you. “I’m sorry?” 

Nerves forced you to look away from her and fiddle with the cup of coffee before you. “Last night? I really was trying to check on you.” The smooth porcelain under your fingers distracted you from seeing the way the woman before you watched you with confusion. “You look beautiful today by the way.” 

Regret flooded your racing mind as soon as the words fell from your lips. The compliment was definitely overstepping the boundaries of friendship. 

A light blush spread across Leigh’s cheeks at your words. Odd. Leigh usually dismissed your compliments or rolled her eyes. “Um…” The other woman’s nose scrunched slightly. “I think you may have me confused with someone else.”

You weren’t sure what game she was playing, and it put you on edge. “Leigh, it’s obviously you.”

“I’m sorry. I’m not your friend. My name is Wanda.” The woman informed you shyly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Your eyes widened in disbelief. This woman was the spitting image of Leigh. It wasn’t Leigh though. That much became clear the more you observed her.

For the first time since she sat down you were able to detect the subtle differences. Wanda’s hair was just a shade darker. The make-up she wore was just a tad more noticeable. The many rings stacked on her fingers were accessories that Leigh would never wear. 

More importantly, the way she carried herself. It was heavy and timid but lighter than Leigh. Something about Wanda reminded you of breaches of sunlight breaking through storm clouds rather than the perpetual storm that Leigh carried. The storm that always seemed to be moments away from sweeping you away. 

Wanda was beautiful. Obviously. She was beautiful in a way that was different than Leigh even though they looked identical. There were no sharp edges to her beauty. It was soft. Like the first break of day. Leigh’s beauty was all sharp edges threatening to cut you to your core at every turn. 

You didn’t know Wanda, but you wanted to.

“I’m so sorry!” You quickly apologized when you realized you had been spacing out. “I must have made you so uncomfortable! It’s just that you look exactly like my friend and she makes me nervous so I didn’t even notice the difference at first. You could be her twin-” Your nervous ramblings were cut short by a hand being placed over your own. 

Wanda smiled slightly and all you could do was cover your face in embarrassment. She must think you’re a psychopath. “It’s okay…” She trailed off and raised her eyebrows in an unspoken question.

It didn’t take long for you to catch on. “Oh! My name is Y/n.” You shook your head as you humiliated yourself even more with each passing minute. “I’m so embarrassed.”

The melodic sound of her laughter drifted into your ears causing your stomach to flip. “Don’t worry. I think it’s cute.” Your cheeks burned at her words. The chime of her phone interrupted the moment as she finally pulled her hand back. 

A small frown tugged at the corner of her lips as she read over the message on her phone. “Not to over step, but is everything okay?”

“Yes. I just need to leave now unfortunately.” You noticed an almost undetectable accent framed her words. The accent just made her all the more alluring to you. “Do you think I could have your number?” She asked shyly as she tugged at the sleeves of her sweater.

Without hesitation, you scrambled to find a pen and a loose scrap of paper to write your number on. “Here you go.” You both shared bashful smiles when your hands grazed one another.

With a small wave, and a soft smile Wanda turned to leave. “I’ll call you.” Excitement bubbled in your chest at the thought as you dreamily watched her walk out of the coffee shop.

“Okay. Am I going to regret coming?” You jumped at the unexpected appearance, causing you to spill your coffee. You mumbled several choice expletives under your breath as you desperately attempted to salvage the papers that you had spent the entire morning working on. 

Realizing that the attempts were futile you crumpled the papers and focused on drying the table. “We’re off to a great start already.” You heard Leigh sarcastically muse from her place across from you.

Nerves bloomed in your chest, knowing it was actually Leigh sitting across from you. You treaded forward cautiously. “S-sorry. I’m glad you made it out, Leigh. It’s good to see you.” You stuttered out. 

“I would ask how the coffee is, but it looks like the table would know more than you would.” Even more sarcasm. Definitely Leigh. Like you had noted when Wanda was there, Leigh was all sharp edges.

At the thought of Wanda, you leaned forward, pretending to not notice the way Leigh’s aloof attitude faltered slightly. “Do you have a twin?”

A dry laugh fell from Leigh’s lips. More controlled than Wanda’s. “What? Are you on drugs?” 

“I think I may have just met your twin.”

Leigh’s stare became cautious when she realized you weren’t joking.

There it is! Debating making this into a series. If I did should Wanda have powers or should she just be a normal person? Also how does the title Love Me (Or Let Me Go) sound? :) Let me know what you all think, I’m excited to hear back from you all! Thoughts and comments always welcome!

[graciesstrap]

Welcome to my blog!

About me:

my name is laura and i‘m 20 years old. I’m a lesbian! my mbti type is infp. I’ll write mostly smut, but feel free to sent me some request’s if y’all are craving something different :)

Rules:

no hate! only critic!

be nice in the comments:)

minors are not allowed on this blog

Masterlist:

smut: ☆ fluff: ♡ angst: ❀

Gracie Abrams:

Olivia Rodrigo:

Sabrina Carpenter:

Taylor Swift:

Madison Beer:

________________________

don’t copy, translate or steal my work and claim it as yours!

[randomshyperson]

Main Masterlist - All Works

Welcome to my blog! Here you can access all my published work on Tumblr. You might wanna check my AO3 and Wattpad as well, I strongly recommend reading the series on AO3 because it's easier.

Who do I Write for?

This blog is dedicated to Wanda Maximoff and Elizabeth Olsen Characters. Also includes other female characters from Marvel such as Natasha Romanoff and Carol Danvers. On my secondary blog (MarySandBox) I write about other fandoms and characters that also contain reader inserts and/or couples.

Warning about Tumblr flagging

The site's default configuration does not allow viewing adult content, so it is possible that some works are not visible to all of you. I suggest checking AO3 or Wattpad if you don't want to change this setting on Tumblr (as the change will affect your entire dashboard for any flagged post). If possible, during reblogs, don't flag my work.

Request Status: Closed

Last update: 15-03-2024

TAG List: Not doing this in most of the posts because this site has too many bugs regarding it. Turn blog notifications on and/or follow the fics on AO3. Most of my posts in this are fics since I have a main, so don't worry.

AO3 | Spotify | *Wattpad

MarySandbox (Other Fandoms Blog) | Main

What happened to my Wattpad? I abandoned the site because my stories continue to be reported by bots and deleted by moderation, and it is very tiring work that exhausts my patience. The only reason for uploading to that site was to avoid plagiarism, but apparently, the moderation gave the reason to the plagiarists instead of the original creators, so I left the site. My fics will only be posted/updated on A03 and Tumblr.

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Masterlist Per Fandom

Marvel Universe Masterlist

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Alternative Universe (High School/College)

Canon Divergence

Other Alternative Universe

Blurb/Drabbles/Others Collection

Series Masterlist

Song Based Collection

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Canon Divergence Works

Blurb/Drabbles Collection

Carol Danvers x Reader

Canon Divergence Works

WandaNat x Reader

Everybody Talks

Punishment Lesson

Leigh Shaw x Reader

Palm Springs

Jane Banner x Reader

Cold Hands and Warm Lips

Seasons and Challenges [All Characters]

The NSFW Alphabet Challenge

Kinktober [22] | [23]

Song Based Collection

Holiday Season [23]

Elizabeth Olsen x Reader

All Works Masterlist

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[abimess]

Ok so you want a request! How about one with Leigh Shaw. So Leigh and r (female) have feelings for each other but Leigh, is being well... herself and won’t let it happen. So r starts to move on with someone else, so Leigh realizes her mistake and big love declaration ensues from a jealous Leigh making a scene. With happy ending, with a cherry on top, please.

Hi, anon! This was so fun to write, although I don’t know if I portrayed Leigh very well, she’s a very complex character, but I hope I did. Also, I know this title is huge but it’s the only one I could think of lol Anyway, hope you like it =)

Good reading!

Friends are not supposed to care with who their other friends go out with

Leigh Shaw x Reader

Summary: It’s a fact that Leigh is a complete stubborn person. But what happens when her stubbornness almost makes her lose you?

Word count: 2.732

Warnings: angst (? idk maybe not); fluff

You do NOT have permission to repost or translate my work on any platforms (even with credit)

Masterlist | Library Blog (Read on: Wattpad)

───── ⋅ ✮ ⋅ ─────

Leigh Shaw is your friend.

That’s probably the sentence you repeat to yourself the most. You would say it when she laughed at one of your jokes, when she hugged you goodbye and her perfume would invade your senses, when she made you laugh with one of her sarcastic, unrequired comments. But mostly on moments like this one, when you were alone and thoughts of her took over your mind, causing you to smile like an idiot. Leigh Shaw is your friend, and there’s nothing you can do to change this fact.

Not that you haven’t tried, though. Almost two months ago Drew assigned you to help Leigh with her columns so she would send him the material on time. Leigh was not happy about it and she had no problem showing it in every opportunity she had. Drew had told you that the woman had been through a lot and could be hard to be around due to her temper, but he never told you she was almost a psychopath!

You were about to ask your editor to find someone else to help her when Leigh started to become way more friendly. The change of behavior came out of nowhere and you never asked the reason, too afraid that she would go back to the way she was and attack you with one of the chairs of the coffee shop.

After that, you and Leigh started to share really pleasant afternoons. She allowed you to know more about her, even if it was just a little, and you did the same. Soon you found out that Leigh’s sense of humor was pretty much like yours and that you had much more in common than you thought you would have. Also, both of your performances with your columns increased a lot and so Drew encouraged you to keep going with your meetings, what you had no problem doing.

Not after long, you found yourself longing for the next encounter and wanting to know more about Leigh.

“I was thinking…” You started one day, trying to sound as casual as you could. When Leigh hummed for you to go on, you did. “Maybe we could hang out sometime.”

“We are hanging out.” She retorted simply, her eyes never leaving the screen as she typed.

“No, I mean. Like, actually hang out.” You explained, beginning to stutter a little and Leigh finally looked at you. “Why?” her brows were frowned in confusion, a not-at-all amused expression on her face. “No reason, forget I asked.” You mumbled and turned your attention back to your notebook and Leigh did the same, not saying another word. And that’s how your first and last attempt to ask her out went.

You tried to stop, but the more you did, the more you fell for her. She definitely wasn’t helping. There would be days she would smile at you and give you all her attention, and there would be a tenderness in her eyes that would fill you with hope. And there would be days she would shut you off in any possible way, barely looking at you or answering your questions.

You remember one day you both were having one of the good days, when you would smile the whole way through and Leigh would place her hand softly on your shoulder as she spoke and you would melt to her touch. It was peaceful, it was good. Until it wasn’t.

“Hey, there!” a female voice that you didn’t recognize sounded next to you. Leigh was the first one to look, her smile faltering on her face as she assumed an apprehensive expression. You looked at the mysterious woman, trying to understand what was so intimidating about her presence but all you saw was a smiling woman that was a little younger than you.

“Hi, Jules. (Y/n), this is my sister Jules.” Leigh said stuttering a little and then shifting her gaze from you to the woman you now know is named Jules. “This is (Y/n), my coworker.” You offered your hand for Jules to shake, trying to ignore the hurt that settled in when Leigh said ‘coworker’.

“Nice to meet you, Jules” you said with a warming smile as she shook your hand. The younger woman had a knowing smile on her face as she answered “Nice to meet you, (Y/n). Leigh told me a lot about you.” You frown at her statement, not really sure if that was a good or a bad thing. Coming from Leigh, it could easily be any of them, maybe even both.

But before you could say anything else, Leigh immediately stood up, picking up her stuff in a clumsy way, as fast as she could. “Okay! We should go now.” She said, grabbing her sister by the arm and walking out of the coffee shop, not even bothering to say goodbye to you.

Being around Leigh was a vicious circle of ups and downs, and you were sure nothing would ever give you the strength to break it. Until one day something did.

“I slept with someone.” She said as soon as she got to the coffee shop a few days ago and you choked on your drink. “What?” you tried your best to repress the hurt on both your words and your expression.

She then excitedly told you about her amazing night with this dude in a hotel. You couldn’t care less. In fact, if you could, you would go deaf for the day only to not hear her speaking about it. But you couldn’t let it show. Because Leigh is your friend, and friends aren’t supposed to care with who their other friends go out with. So you listen, smiling and nodding whenever you thought you were supposed to.  

You sigh running your fingers through your hair as those memories of Leigh overwhelm your mind. You have to move on. You can’t go on like this.

So, as if heaven had decided to be nice to you and sent you a sign, a notification pops on your phone and you give it a little smile when you see the name on your screen.

Emily is one of your friends from Basically News and she has been asking you out for a while now. Emily is fun, and funny and beautiful, but she is not Leigh so you always made up excuses for not going out with her. But maybe this time the universe was giving you a chance to move on, so when she asks you out for dinner on Saturday, you say yes.

 -----

 You and Leigh were working on your columns on her living room with Jules laying on the couch. It was a comfortable silence, eventually broken by Jules bringing up some random subject or by you and Leigh exchanging ideas for the website.

“We should do a Harry Potter marathon Saturday night” Jules suggests after the three of you spent a while discussing your Hogwarts houses. Leigh is a Slytherin, none of you had a single doubt about that. But apparently Jules is a Slytherin as well, what surprises you because you would say she was a Gryffindor, but maybe you didn’t know her well enough to make that statement. When you tell them your Hogwarts house, they both nod saying it was obvious and you chuckle. “You should stick around too, (Y/n)” she completes, poking you and you smile. “I can’t, I have a date.”  

“You have a what?” Leigh says immediately after you finish speaking, her brows raised in surprise and slight irritation. “I have a date. I’m going out with Emily.” Leigh sighs in annoyance, turning her attention back to her computer. “I can’t believe you’re going out with Emily.” She completes with disdain and it’s your turn to raise your brows.

“Why? Emily is a nice person. Besides, why do you care-”, “I don’t. In fact, I couldn’t care less about who you go out with.” She interrupts you and you clench your jaw, trying to ignore the bitter taste on your mouth put there by her words.

Leigh just gets up, looking nearly furious. “I gotta go. I have important stuff to do.” And she leaves, not saying another word to you or Jules, who had an amused expression the entire time.

“Well I guess the beast has awakened.” You joke and Jules chuckle. “It could’ve been worse. She could’ve strangled you with her notebook charger.” She retorts and you snort, giving her a half-hearted smile before getting up “I should go before she comes back and actually do it, then.”

Jules giggles before saying her goodbyes and you leave, not knowing what to think about that whole interaction.

 -----

 “I’m just saying that I don’t know what (Y/n) saw on Emily, that’s all” Leigh says in full annoyance.

It’s Saturday and she hates it. She hates that she’s about to start a Harry Potter marathon and you are not there. She hates that after that stupid afternoon she couldn’t stop thinking about you and your stupid date with Emily. She hates Emily. Doesn’t matter if she only talked to her, like, twice. She hates her, she has enough reasons to do so. She hates that you’re going out with her. She hates that you’re going out. She hates you. But the fact that she can’t actually hate you is what she hates the most.

“And you sure have many reasons for that because…” Jules said in a playful tone and with an amused smile as she checks her clock “… you have been just saying that for almost an hour now”.

Leigh rolls her eyes, grabbing some ingredients to prepare a smoothie. She didn’t even want a smoothie. But if preparing it meant she would keep her mind minimally occupied then she would drink the damn smoothie.

“I have no idea what you mean” She says, trying to sound as indifferent as she could as she chops the ingredients with way more strength than it’s necessary. “(Y/n) is my friend, I just don’t want her to go out with some boring, stupid girl, that’s all”.

“Of course” Jules says leaning in on the kitchen counter, the amused smile never leaving her face. “No one would never want that for a friend.”

“You shouldn’t be testing my patience while I have a knife on my hands” Leigh retorts with her brows raised in irritation, pointing the item to her sister.  

“No murdering on my kitchen” Leigh heard her mother saying as she walked in to get herself a glass of water.

“Hey, mom, do you know that girl Leigh has a crush on?” Jules asks taunting, her eyes never leaving her sister’s. Leigh sighs. If her anger keeps growing the way it is, she will commit a crime.

“(Y/n)?” Her mother says without hesitation causing Jules to giggle and Leigh rolls her eyes, sighing in irritation “Oh, come on, not you too!”  

“Oh, honey, don’t get me wrong, but it is pretty obvious…” Her mother starts but Leigh just turns the blender at full power, turning to face the other two with a taunting expression and a sneering tone “Sorry, ladies, I’m not hearing you.” Leigh turns back to face the blender, not seeing the knowing smiles the other two exchanged. She tries to focus on the smoothie, but her mind is far away with thoughts of you.

Maybe her mother and Jules were right. Maybe friends aren’t supposed to care with who their other friends go out with.

-----

 She had enough. It’s almost 8pm now and the only thing Leigh has done was think of you, not giving a damn about the movie on the TV. And she had enough. Leigh gets up and rush to her room to change her clothes. She thinks Jules called her, but she had no time to answer.

“What are you doing?” Jules asks with frowned brows and an amazed smile when she finally came back, heading to the front door. “I’m going for a walk.” Leigh retorts, well aware that her clothes were not for exercising, but Jules just nods, amused. “I see… Good luck on your walk.” Jules says, but Leigh is already out, heading towards her car and to your house.

“Fuck” she mumbles after knocking on your door for the fourth time, realizing you’re already gone. You and your stupid, adorable punctuality. Leigh lets out a deep sigh and turns around, cursing herself for what she’s about to do.

 -----

 This is wrong.

You’re talking and eating and laughing, but this is wrong. Emily is not Leigh and that’s the only thing you can think of. You’re about to tell Emily you can’t do this and that you’re sorry when a voice by your side startles you.  

“Can we talk?” Leigh asks, not even bothering to say hi or to acknowledge Emily’s presence. You look at her, shock clear on your face as you wonder how she knew where you were and why the hell she’s here, but you can’t manage to ask any of those things.

“Why… how…”, “You told me this was your favorite restaurant so I figured… Can we talk?” She asks again sounding more anxious and impatient than before, and you try not to smile at her explanation, not believing she paid attention to that.

You nod and excuse yourself from Emily. Leigh just walks ahead of you. You follow her cautiously and she only turns to face you when you’re out of the restaurant.

“What are you doing?” She asks, pointing at the restaurant, and you raise your brows “What am I doing? What are you doing?” You breathe, trying to control your irritation. She couldn’t play you like this anymore. “Why are you here, Leigh?”

She impassively scans your face in silence and you sigh impatiently. “Look, if you came all your way here just to stare at me I’ll have to-”, “Do you even like her?” She interrupts you and you straighten your posture, surprised.  

“What?” you ask and Leigh clench her jaw, shifting the weight on her feet, apprehensive “Emily. Do you even like her?”

“I thought you didn’t care.” You retort and watch as tears start to form on Leigh’s angry eyes “Well I do care. I care a lot, actually. Maybe more than I should.”

“Why?” You ask defensively, her answer definitely caught you unguarded. Leigh lets out a dry laugh, running her fingers through her hair. “God, you’re so stupid. And annoying, and oblivious and beautiful and caring. And the way I can’t stop thinking about you is infuriating. And the fact that you’re here, going on a date with someone else drives me mad!”

She’s poking your chest and talking way too loud, making the people around you turn their curious gazes to the scene but you couldn’t care less. Your attention was completely on Leigh and on the things she was telling you.

You think you should say something, but soon Leigh is speaking again, and what she says next gets you frozen in place. “And I love you. That’s why.” She locks her eyes on yours looking for an answer and frowns in anger when she doesn’t get one. “Won’t you say something? Don’t stand there staring at me. Do something!”

She demands and you do the only thing your body allows you to do. You place your hands on Leigh’s cheeks and lean in, connecting your lips together. Leigh startle at your sudden action, but it takes less than a second for her to respond to the kiss, placing her hands on your waist, grabbing the cloth of your clothes tightly as if to not let you go.

As your mouths wander together, you feel the whole tension from the last months leaving your body. There’s no more doubt, no more fear or hurt. There’s only happiness and peace and harmony.

You don’t want to break the kiss, but the two of you are smiling too much, making it hard to keep going. “I love you, too” You whisper after you move away, resting your foreheads together. Leigh giggles happily and you can’t help but smile, your heart warming up at your favorite sound in the entire world.  

You know you have to go back inside and apologize to Emily. But right now it’s just you and Leigh, and nothing else matters.

───── ⋅ ✮ ⋅ ─────

And that's it for today! I hope you enjoyed it, thoughts and comments are always welcome ツ

Taglist: @yuhloversxx @madamevirgo @an-evergreen-rose @helloalycia @wandas1mp @cantcontroltheirfear @diaryoflife (let me know if you wanna be tagged)

[ginnsbaker]

fic: if i bleed (you'll be the last to know) (12/?)

Part Summary: You know Leigh well enough to recognize that she never acts without intention. She must have agonized about this too—about that kiss, about you. And she's making it difficult for you to guess just what conclusions she had come to in the time you were apart.

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x Fem!Reader | Word count for this part: 6.500+ | Warnings: Smut | Author's note: I honestly don't know what else to write in the summary without giving too much away, so without further ado… P.S. No cliffhangers this time ;)

Masterlist | Part I Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI

-

A week after Thanksgiving, as the icy Maine wind whips across the tarmac at Rockland Airport, you find yourself holding a container of lobster cakes—your mother's way of sending a piece of home back with you. Despite her protests about you cutting your visit short, she spent last night in the kitchen, crafting your favorite dish, the smell of butter and ocean filling the house. “Eat these when you miss home,” she had said, pressing the container into your hands with a sad smile. The decision to leave early was anything but easy.

You initially planned to stay five more days in Camden, but Leigh's radio silence prompted you to book a direct flight to Los Angeles. It was eating you up inside; you had to go back. The familiar dark screen of your phone kept you on edge; you hadn't expected Leigh to strictly follow through on her promise not to contact you. She had a way of doing the unexpected. Or maybe you've been so wrapped up in your thoughts that you underestimated how deeply she wanted you that night. And perhaps you've overestimated your own anger, believing it would even slightly lessen your feelings for her.

Sitting in the window seat with the whole row to yourself, you stare at your phone as the flight attendant's voice crackles over the intercom, signaling it's time to switch to airplane mode. Impulsively, you tap out a text to her.

Belated Happy Thanksgiving, Leigh. If you’re free tomorrow evening, maybe we could talk? Perhaps over dinner?

It’s straightforward, maybe too much so, but it’s sent before you can overthink it.

The flight attendant's voice fills the cabin once more, reminding everyone to switch their devices as the plane is about to take off. You comply, toggling the setting and sealing off any immediate replies. The engines roar to life, and as the plane ascends, you try to push away the knot of apprehension tightening in your stomach.

As you wait to fall asleep, you think about Leigh—whether she’s seen your message and what she might be feeling. You wonder about the time apart, recalling the old saying that distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Or does it make it forget instead?

-

You touch down in L.A. just as the date ticks over to December 1st, the clock a little past midnight. The moment the plane reaches the gate, you grab your phone and switch off airplane mode. There's a message from your mom, checking in to see if you've landed safely, and you text her back to let her know you did. Suzie has also texted, saying Foreman called in sick and asking if you can cover at the clinic later. You shoot back a quick reply, saying you just landed, you'll catch some sleep, and might be in late in the morning.

But there’s nothing from Leigh. No text, no missed call, nothing to indicate she received your message or is interested in meeting.

You sigh and, without thinking, tap her name on the screen. The call goes through, and the phone rings as you make your way through the late-night crowd at LAX. It continues ringing, unanswered, until it finally clicks over to voicemail. You mutter a soft curse under your breath. Of course, she's not going to pick up—it's 12:30 in the morning. You consider sending a quick apology text but then reconsider, figuring you've already pushed enough boundaries by calling her this late.

Instead, you slide your phone back into your pocket and head toward baggage claim. You weave through the half-awake travelers and the sterile glow of the airport lights, finally spotting your suitcase trundling along the carousel. You heft it off and make your way through the automatic doors. You glance one more time at your phone, half hoping for a notification, but it's blank. With a sigh, you head for the exit, feeling the exhaustion settle in.

-

You check your inbox first thing in the morning, but there's still nothing from Leigh. You don't have time to overanalyze this again because you're already running late for work.

-

The whole day is swamped, with emergencies piling up alongside a packed schedule of immunizations and follow-ups. Suzie mistakenly booked an entire week's worth of scheduled vaccines for today, a Saturday. She explains that the clients requested to move their appointments to the weekend, adding, “We're closed on Sundays, so I thought today would work.”

You try to hide your frustration, not wanting to lay the blame on her. Your nerves are already frayed, and every hour that passes without a word from Leigh has you feeling more on edge.  As you tend to your patients and give instructions to the staff, you feel the pressure building, a headache beginning to throb behind your eyes. The never-ending stream of clients leaves you with no time to catch your breath. Between each appointment, you plaster on a polite smile, but inside, you're counting down the minutes until you can check out of, well, everything.

As the clock hits seven, you can't take another minute. The clinic has been a madhouse since the doors opened. You barely glance at Suzie as you callously tell her, “Close early. I'm tired.” Without waiting for her response, you trudge straight to your office and slump into your chair, eyes closed against the harsh fluorescent lights. Resting your head back, you exhale slowly, letting the tension drain from your shoulders. The fatigue wraps itself around you like a fog, and for a moment, everything falls away.

A few minutes later, you hear a gentle knock. It's Suzie, standing in the doorway with a paper in her hand. Without opening your eyes, you mutter, “What is it?” Your irritation seeps through, but you’re too drained to rein it in.

Suzie hesitates before stepping into your office, her expression unreadable. She extends the paper towards you. “It's my resignation letter,” she says quietly.

Your eyes snap open, and the paper feels heavier than it should as you take it from her hands. You’ve been nothing short of awful to her all day, snapping at every turn. 

“Is this about today?” you ask. 

She gives you a small, weary smile and points to the date on the letter. “I wrote this last week, right after you left for Maine.”

You glance down at the letter and see that it’s dated exactly a week ago. “Why didn’t you give it to me sooner?”

“I didn’t want to ruin your vacation,” she says softly. “I know how much you needed that break. And honestly, you’ve got enough on your plate right now without me adding to it.”

You can feel the burn of frustration and shame behind your eyes. “You’ve been a rock here, Suzie. I don’t want you to go. Please reconsider.”

She shakes her head gently. “I’ve thought this through. It’s time. I care about this place, and about you, but I need to move on.”

You let out a long breath. “I see. Still, I'm sorry today was so rough,” you say, looking up at her wistfully. You try working your puppy eyes, and for a moment it seems effective as her expression softens into a frown. 

But then she says, “It’s not the clinic or the work I do here. I got an offer for a research position; it's something I've always wanted to try.”

That makes you smile. If that’s the case, then you’re truly happy for her.

“I understand. I wish you hadn't felt the need to keep this to yourself, especially with everything else happening today,” you say, still clutching the paper tightly in your hand, crumpling it slightly.

Suzie shrugs. “I didn't want to add to your stress. Don’t worry, I’ll count the 30 days' notice from today, not the date on my resignation, so you have time to find someone to replace me.”

From that, you know her mind’s already made up. As you read her letter again, your eyes start to sting. You glance back up at her, your vision blurring. “Suzie, thank you,” you mumble thickly.

“Hey, it's okay,” she says gently. “I'm not leaving town. We can still grab lunch whenever. I know how glued to your desk you get, so I'll drag you out for a bite now and then.” You let out a shaky chuckle, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand.

“It's just—I’m going to miss you, and I don’t know how I'll replace you,” you say with a sniffle.

“Missing me is a given,” she says, leaning against the doorframe with a smirk. “Actually, I might know someone interested in my job.”

Your ears perk up at that. Good help is hard to find these days, especially with more demands from applicants and a tight job market. “Who?” you ask, curious.

Suzie turns around as if she's going to leave without answering, but then she glances over her shoulder, her smirk widening. “Sara.”

-

A little while later, you catch Suzie just as she's finishing up in the lobby.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll lock up. You’ve done enough today,” you say, sending her home. She gives you a grateful smile, slings her bag over her shoulder, and wishes you a good night before heading out.

Finally alone, you take a moment to decompress. Clasping your hands behind your back, you stretch, trying to release the day's tension. A dull ache climbs up your spine, reminding you how tight your muscles are. Unable to hold the position for more than a few seconds, you relax, the discomfort too much to bear. It's hard to tell whether it's from the long-haul flight yesterday, your age creeping up on you, poor posture, or all of the above. 

On a whim, you book a late-night yoga session at the Beautiful Beast, hoping to relieve the tightness in your back. It’s been a while since your last visit.

Afterward, you head to the small bathroom in your office to get ready. It's basic, not meant for much more than washing hands and changing scrubs, but it’s all you've got. Stripping off your day's clothes, you step into the shower, letting the hot water beat down on your back. The steam fills the tiny space, and the heat melts a bit of the stiffness away. After a quick rinse, you towel off and slip into your yoga gear. The stretchy fabric feels liberating after being in stiff work clothes all day. You roll up your yoga mat, tucked behind the office door, and switch off the bathroom light.

As you're about to head out of the clinic, you check your phone, hoping to see something from Leigh. There's nothing—she hasn’t even read your last message. The stonewalling feels all too familiar, and you're tired of it.

You slide into your car, letting out a weary sigh. As you start the engine, thoughts of Suzie's suggestion to hire Sara sneak back into your mind. You can't help but chortle at the idea—it’s so unexpected, almost comical, considering how you know Sara and her standing friends-with-benefits proposition. It feels far-fetched, and knowing Suzie, she was likely just teasing.

The drive to the fitness studio is as mechanical as it gets. You're hardly aware of the turns you take until you park in front of the building. You step out, mind still elsewhere, and open your car door—right into someone walking by.

“Ow!”

“Shit, I’m so sorry, I didn’t—” you start to say, cutting yourself off when you see who it is. 

Leigh, of all people, is rubbing her elbow, wincing. Her hair is tied back in a ponytail, and she’s wearing a plain white shirt under a jacket, paired with simple black tights. 

“See me? Lovely excuse,” she quips, her eyes fixed on her arm rather than you. Her expression is primed to unleash more frustration when she finally turns to meet the source of the blunder.

 “I—” Leigh stops, visibly surprised to see you. Quickly, her face smooths into something more neutral. “Y/N. You…you really should watch it.”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” you say, rubbing the back of your neck. “Are you alright?”

She rubs her elbow once more, then nods slowly. “Just startled me a bit, but I’m fine.”

Once you both regain your bearings, you unconsciously begin rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet, hesitating despite the things you’ve rehearsed in your head all week. Your text message inviting her to meet tonight lingers at the forefront of your mind. But before you can bring it up, Leigh catches you by surprise.

“So, you’re heading in for a class?” she asks casually, as if the last time you saw each other didn’t end with a kiss and a confrontation that put the aforementioned kiss on hold.

“Uh, yeah, yeah, I am,” you reply. Then you remember Leigh doesn't work here anymore, but with her mother owning the place, it's no surprise to see her around occasionally. 

Still, you ask, “How about you?”

“You mind if we walk while we talk?” Leigh suggests.

You nod, a little thrown off but managing to say, “Sure, just let me grab my stuff.” 

She waits a few seconds as you gather your belongings, and then you both start walking toward the building. Leigh sets a brisk pace, always a step ahead, and you find yourself almost hurrying to keep up with her.

“I just got back to working here again,” she says after a beat.

Surprised, you ask, “Oh, how did that happen?”

“Long story,” she replies with a slight shrug, her eyes focused ahead.

Unsatisfied with her vague answer, your eyes drift to her lips. Memories of that last kiss flood back—their soft, velvety feel and that distinct taste that’s all hers, like fresh water after a long, grueling hike. It's a taste that's unmistakably Leigh, nothing else like it. As you walk together, you struggle to stay present. This isn’t at all how you pictured your reunion with her would go. Not by a long shot.

“Leigh,” you call out, stopping abruptly. Your voice comes out higher than intended, quivering a bit. You clear your throat and try again, “D-Did you get my text yesterday?”

Leigh glances back over her shoulder, her expression unreadable. “No.”

The bluntness leaves you momentarily stunned. You wait for her to follow up, to ask about the text, but she doesn’t. As you both step into the Beautiful Beast studio, you start to ask if you can talk later, but Leigh gets there first.

“We can pick this up later, Y/N. We should really get to class,” she says, heading into the room full of waiting students without waiting for your answer.

You're left more stumped than ever. Last time, she was almost on her knees, begging for forgiveness. Now, she's acting like nothing happened. How did everything change so much in just a week? With a head full of questions and doubts, you roll out your yoga mat and try to focus on the practice ahead. You can't help but wonder if the kiss you shared with Leigh really happened or if it was just a mirage of your desires.

You struggle through some of the poses, wobbling and nearly toppling over more than once. Leigh, however, doesn't chide or correct you as she used to; she mostly leaves you alone, focusing instead on helping others who are struggling more than you. It makes you feel strangely isolated, even though you know she's just fulfilling her role as an instructor and there are plenty of beginners in tonight’s session.

As the hour winds down, Leigh's soft “Namaste” signals the end of the class. She bows gracefully to the students, and you don't waste a moment, rising immediately to make your way to her as she rolls up her mat.

“Leigh.”

“Hey,” she responds breathlessly, not looking up. Other students pass by, thanking her, and she responds with smiles and cheerful “see you next times.” You stand there, feeling awkward as you wait for a turn.

When the last person leaves, Leigh finally looks up at you. “What's up?” she asks.

You find yourself stuttering, still fixated on the text message. Feeling a bit pathetic about how much it’s affecting you, but you shake it off, remembering why you cut your visit to Camden short. It was because of this—because of her.

“Leigh, can we talk? About... you know, how we left things that night?”

Her face remains jarringly impartial as she wipes down her mat. “Talk? Here? Right now?”

You quickly shake your head. “No, I don't mean right this second,” you clarify, watching her closely to gauge her reaction. Are you the only one feeling like you're on a tightrope? 

“You haven't had dinner yet, right?” You try to sound nonchalant too, but it's a struggle.

She looks around the emptying studio as if she needs a moment to consider. After a few beats, she nods. “Sure, why not? I’ll just change and meet you out front.”

You can't help but smile, mainly out of relief that she said yes. “Great, see you in a minute,” you say, realizing you need to change into drier clothes too.

Fifteen minutes later, Leigh steps out, looking refreshed as if she didn't just burn through a few hundred calories leading a rigorous yoga session. She's wearing a cozy gray sweater and cargo pants, a much more laid-back look compared to your jeans and cardigan.

As she draws near, she tilts her head slightly and says, “I actually brought a car. Have you thought of where we're going to get dinner?”

You scramble to think of a suitable place. In-N-Out pops into your head—quick, easy, but completely wrong for the kind of talk you need to have. You can't imagine hashing out your feelings under the harsh lights of a fast food place, over burgers and fries.

“Um,” you stammer, looking around like inspiration might hit you in the face. 

“How about we head to your apartment?” Leigh suggests out of nowhere. “It's closer, and we could grab some drive-thru on the way.”

You blink at her suggestion, surprised she'd even consider it after everything that went down last time at your place.

“There's only one parking spot,” you say blankly. “And the street has no parking after 10 p.m.”

Leigh seems unfazed, offering a quick solution. “Then we’ll just take your car. I can leave mine here.”

Your nerves flare at the thought of having her back in your apartment. Your tongue feels heavy, and you can't think of a single reason to tell her why it’s a bad idea.

“Okay,” you say slowly. “Let's do that.”

You head to your car together, fumbling with the keys as you unlock it. Leigh slips into the passenger seat, and you take a deep breath before starting the engine. You pull into a drive-thru of In-N-Out and Leigh scrolls through her phone, picking out what to order. 

You know Leigh well enough to recognize that she never acts without intention. She must have agonized about this too—about that kiss, about you. And she's making it difficult for you to guess just what conclusions she had come to in the time you were apart.

-

The takeout is spread across your dining table, a small feast that Leigh ordered for the two of you. Boxes of fries, nuggets, and burgers crowd the surface, enough to feed a group. You barely nibble on a fry while Leigh is already finishing her cheeseburger, wiping her fingers with a napkin and eyeing the remaining food.

“You weren’t hungry, huh?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Guess not,” you reply, wiping away the residual salt from your fingers.

Leigh takes a sip of her drink, washing down the last bite before looking at you with purpose. “Mind if I go first?” she asks.

You narrow your eyes. So, she's eager to dive right in. “Sure, go ahead,” you say. You observe Leigh closely for the first time in what feels like ages. Concealer cakes beneath her eyes, settling into the natural wrinkles there. She’s still undeniably beautiful, but there's a tiredness to her now that’s hard to miss. Her cheeks, usually lifted by her prominent cheekbones, seem hollowed out more than usual.

“I guess I want to start by saying that I'm…” Leigh trails off, her eyes darting around as if the right words might be hidden among the packets of ketchup and silverware. “...a horrible person.”

You open your mouth to protest, but she cuts you off smoothly.

“No, listen. You were right. I ignore you out of nowhere. I take advantage of your kindness. And it’s not just you—I’ve been doing this with everyone around me for a while now. I haven't cared about what others think or feel because I was focused on being true to myself, always playing the ‘dead husband’ card. I’ve taken everyone's patience and understanding for granted, and I’m really, really sorry.”

You sit back, stunned. The whole evening, you'd braced for a different kind of conversation. You expected Leigh to say the kiss was a mistake—just a result of nerves or a lapse in judgment driven by jealousy. You had been so sure she'd shut you down, just like all the other times. 

“You're sorry?” The words slip out unbidden, tinged with surprise and skepticism.

“Yeah,” she says, looking you square in the eye. “I know it's hard to believe, but I really am sorry for how I've treated you.”

It’s going well—too well. Your mind struggles to accept it, but your heart?

“I thought you were going to say that night was a mistake. That the kiss meant nothing,” you whisper so faintly, almost as if you don't want her to hear.

“It kept me up for nights,” Leigh replies just as softly, “and that doesn’t usually happen to me over a simple kiss.”

Your heart soars.

She doesn’t regret it. She’s sorry. This is all going too well.

“It was on my mind the whole time, even when I was all the way across the country,” you whisper wantonly. 

The corners of Leigh’s lips twitch upward, and you can't tell if it's a good sign. Her saying she’s just as affected blinds you to any other cues that might suggest otherwise.

“There’s something else I need to tell you,” Leigh says darkly, leaning back into her chair with a weary slump. “Because I’m done living in half-truths and half-realities. I can’t handle any more surprises.”

You feel a flash of confusion, trying to stitch together what Leigh might say next. She knows about your cheesy alter-ego on her advice column, the details of your past with Matt. But half-truths? What does she mean by that?

Leigh meets your gaze, and there’s something about her stare that tells you she’s coming apart, yet she's clenching every muscle to keep herself intact. You want to reach across the table, to offer a touch that might steady her, but her hands are hidden, clenched in her lap beneath the table. Her shoulders hunch, making her seem smaller, as if she's trying to fold into herself.

“Leigh, just tell me,” you urge, though not impatiently.

She exhales slowly, the breath you hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “I broke up with Danny,” she finally says, and for a brief, absurd moment, relief washes over you. 

That's…it? 

Your smile starts to form, naive in its inception, but it’s quickly stifled as Leigh’s voice drops lower, and her next words cut through the nascent joy. 

“And then he said something I didn't think could drive the dagger Matt left in my heart any deeper,” she says slowly, like she’s having a hard time dragging every syllable.

Leigh takes a deep breath, her chest rising and falling deliberately. “He told me he was pretty involved when you and Matt got together. That you first knew him as Nick, and he helped Matt reach out to you.”

Your heart sinks. You had almost forgotten that night with Danny when you discovered his real identity and how he fit into everything. He'd begged you to keep quiet, and in his desperation, you agreed—not because he pleaded, but because you believed Leigh was happy with him. It wasn’t your secret to reveal, not then.

You've known this all along and never said a word. Your throat tightens as panic sets in, your heart racing with the implications of having kept this from Leigh. Guilt pricks at you, cold and sharp.

“I…” Your voice falters, and you swallow hard, thinking, This is it, this is how I lose her. 

“I didn’t think it was my place to say anything,” you say. “I thought you were happy with him. I didn’t want to be the one to—”

“Y/N,” Leigh interjects softly. Her tone stops you cold—it's not angry, just… defeated. Which, somehow, feels worse. She looks down, twisting a napkin between her fingers. “I’m telling you this because I’m finding out that secrets can be just as hard to handle as loss.”

You nod absentmindedly, still processing, and move to clear the table in a daze. Wrapping up the leftover food, you tuck it into the fridge. The mundane task doesn't ease the tightness in your chest, but it gives your hands something to do.

“You’re not upset I didn’t tell you?” you ask, like you can’t believe you’ll come out of this conversation unscathed.

Leigh takes her time to answer. With your focus on tidying up, you miss the way her hands ball into fists. When she finally speaks, her voice has a steely edge for the first time this evening.

“At first, I was livid, of course. But Danny bore the brunt of it. He claimed he wanted me, but he was never on my side. If he were, he would’ve never helped Matt cheat on me.”

You finish tucking the last container into the fridge and lean back against the counter, your eyes on Leigh. She's staring out the window. How is it that she’s telling you these things, yet it still feels like she’s not revealing anything at all?

“I should’ve told you sooner,” you say softly. “I’m sorry.”

Leigh gets up and walks toward you. She stops so close that your breath catches. You remember the last time she was this near, how the world blurred, and how hard it was to think clearly. You can see the way her jaw tightens as she takes a breath.

“It wasn’t your secret to tell,” she says.

“But—” you start to say, though the thought fizzles out as she steps even closer.

“You're okay in that regard,” she murmurs, her voice low. 

In that regard? 

You want to ask what she means, but Leigh shuffles nearer still, her eyes searching your face. She's so close now that you can see the faint reflection of the kitchen light in her eyes, specs of yellow in darkened green. It’s nothing short of dazzling.

“Do you forgive me for last time?” she asks quietly. 

A lump forms in your throat, and all you can think about is how desperately you don't want to mess this up. You had forgiven her long before stepping onto a plane back to Maine. It happened as soon as you let her walk away that night, but you just couldn't accept how easy it was. 

You nod, unable to trust your ability to speak. 

Leigh's eyes soften as she watches you. Her fingertips brush against your jaw, her touch feather-light. 

“Is it okay if I kiss you, then?” she asks, both careful and seductive.

Your resounding yes comes in the form of you closing the gap, your lips meeting hers like an arrow striking its target. Leigh’s arms wrap around your shoulders instinctively, her fingers brushing the back of your neck, and you pull her in even tighter, deepening the kiss. Her breath mingles with yours as she sighs softly against your mouth, and it’s only then that when you feel all of her that Los Angeles starts to feel like a second home.

There are still questions, an unending list that always surfaces around Leigh, but they evaporate one by one when her tongue flicks out, seeking entrance. You surrender, lips parting, allowing her to taste you. The kiss grows with a messy urgency in seconds. Her hands roam down your back, gripping tightly as she presses in, as if trying to melt into you. You draw her nearer, your chests flush together as the kiss becomes wet and breathless.

Your apartment is silent except for your soft pants and the slick sounds of your lips meeting.  Doubts about your ability to please a woman creep in after such a long hiatus. But before these thoughts can take hold, Leigh takes charge. She grabs your hips and gently guides you backward toward the bedroom, cutting off any chance for you to slow things down.

She breaks the kiss just long enough to slip your cardigan off your shoulders and whisper, her breath warm against your lips, “Should we take this somewhere more comfortable?”

It seems almost unfair for her to pose that question while simultaneously moving to your neck, drawing a soft groan from you. Her teeth gently graze a sensitive spot just below your clavicle, applying pressure that promises to leave a mark, then soothing it with her tongue.

Leigh smirks when she feels you struggle for breath, much less for words. Your knees buckle slightly, but she holds you up with a firm grip, guiding you back until you bump against the edge of the bed. 

You know you're on the verge of something that might change everything, but right now, you're entirely Leigh's. There's no space to consider the implications, to remember that she was Matt's grieving widow just months ago. Right now, she's just the girl who holds your attention completely, the one who couldn't get rid of you even if she tried.

Leigh tumbles with you onto the bed, her thighs straddling your hips. With practiced ease, she removes her shirt and bra all at once, leaving her bare above you. The sight strips you of any last coherent thought. She isn’t the image of perfection peddled in glossy and well-curated social feeds; her body is beautifully real. Her tits look heavy and asymmetrical, round as grapefruit; her nipples pinkish-brown, pebbled and inviting. There’s a soft fold in her belly, and an overwhelming desire washes over you to kiss it. You think you might die just from looking at her.

You look up at Leigh and tell her, reverently, “You’re so devastatingly beautiful.” 

Leigh's cheeks flush as she tries to hide her smile behind her hair. “You don't have to tell me that,” she whispers. “You already got me into your bed.”

You chuckle, nerves still humming under the surface. “You were just as beautiful when devouring a cheeseburger.” Both of you laugh, the sound light and easy, allowing some of the thick sexual energy to dissipate slightly. 

You find yourself relaxing just enough to admit, “I'm not sure how to touch you right, but I want to make you feel good.”

“Just do whatever feels good for you,” she suggests, her expression softening further.

You scrunch your face a little at her, letting out a small chuckle. “That’s the thing—I haven't been getting much action myself.”

Leigh’s smile spreads wider into something mischievous and you swallow dryly at the sight. She shifts off your lap and settles at your side, propping herself up on one arm to look down at you. “Let me help you with that,” she murmurs, her voice low.

You're no longer smiling, feeling your face flush as you ask, “What do you have in mind?”

Instead of answering, Leigh’s fingers trace down to the button of your pants, deftly unfastening it. She gently scratches the skin beneath with her fingernail before sliding the zipper down. You watch as she bites her lip at the sight of the wet patch on your underwear before glancing back up at you. Her pupils are wide, the deep green of her irises barely visible in the surrounding darkness.

“Take them off,” she instructs softly.

You swallow heavily and do as she says, trying not to cover yourself despite feeling incredibly vulnerable. You haven't been naked in front of anyone in so long, and you're embarrassed by how exposed and wet you are right now.

Leigh watches you closely, and you can see the desire burning in her gaze. With her free hand, she reaches for you, her touch gentle, coaxing your thighs open as she trails her fingers up your inner thigh. You draw a sharp breath and close your eyes, expecting her fingers to graze your wetness next.

But Leigh surprises you—and herself—by guiding your right hand just below your navel, her fingers warm and sure on your wrist. Her times with Danny were about dominating and taking, but with you, she wants to give, to watch, to soak up every moan, every breathy reaction, every shiver. She wants to see you take pleasure for yourself, deriving her own pleasure from it.

“Start there,” she murmurs, her breath hot against your ear. “Tease yourself.”

Your hand hovers there, and she gives a slight nod of encouragement. As her touch slips away, you begin to explore the softness of your own skin, tracing light circles below your belly button. You utter a soft, “Fuck,” when your fingertips graze your slick, discovering just how turned on you really are. The filthy noises it creates make you whimper.

Leigh watches you hungrily. “You should be doing this more often,” she murmurs, eyes tracing the movement of your fingers now glistening with your own arousal. “You're so fucking hot. It's such a shame.”

The sound of her voice makes you arch your back further, hips bucking as you start a wide circular motion against your clit. Exerting every ounce of control not to come right away, you focus on the sensation of Leigh's eyes on you and the stimulation from your own fingers. You want to hold out, to let her watch you teeter on the edge. Your teeth dig into your lower lip, trying to curb the wave of pleasure building inside you.

Leigh's voice is a soothing command, whispering, “That's it, be patient. Don't rush it.”

“Fuck, Leigh, I’m—” Your words die in your throat as she lifts your shirt slowly, exposing your nipple to the cool air for a brief moment before her mouth engulfs it. The sensation of her sucking, then laving your nipple with her tongue, circling it, mimicking the motion you're doing on your clit, sends a jolt through you. Little flicks of her tongue to the tip of your nipple drive you crazy, and you gasp, your body responding eagerly to her touch.

Your rhythm stutters as she discards her pants and panties in one swift motion, leaving her gloriously bare. The sight of her naked body ignites a strong wave of desire to touch her instead, but Leigh pins you with a warning glare, silently telling you not to stop.

She straddles one of your legs, and you gasp when you feel her warm, wet pussy against your knee as she starts rocking against it. You position your leg to give her better leverage, and she starts sliding against you, her tits bouncing with each motion. Leigh's sucking on your nipple becomes sloppier, more frantic, until she can no longer concentrate and releases it with a wet pop.

“Oh, fuck, Y/N—” 

Leigh’s face contorts in pleasure as her drenched folds meet your thigh over and over, sweat dripping down between her breasts from the strain of holding herself up above you. The sight of her fucking herself against your leg is nothing short of mesmerizing. You increase the movements of your fingers, rubbing harshly at your clit as you watch Leigh, her breath coming in short gasps. Her eyes flutter closed, and a soft moan escapes her lips. The sound drives you wild, and you curve your spine, lifting your hips to meet your own hand.

Sex with anyone else has never felt this good before, and she hasn’t even properly touched you yet. It’s intoxicating, the way she takes her pleasure and gives it to you all at once. You’re lost in the haze of it all: the smell of Leigh’s arousal, her sweat-soaked skin, the sight of her tits bouncing and her face flushed with desire.

With your free hand, you grab the back of Leigh's head, guiding her down towards you. “C-Come here,” you manage to say, your voice breaking with need. 

Leigh obeys, her mouth meeting yours in a frenzied kiss. You swallow each other's moans, the taste of her lips sending a fresh wave of desire coursing through you. It's this simple, sweet connection of lips that utterly dissolves all your defenses.

A keening moan escapes you as Leigh slides a finger inside you, pushing deep to the third knuckle, causing your head to tip back and break the kiss as the tightness in your belly becomes too much. “Leigh, can I—” Your voice is a mere whisper, your body trembling with the effort to hold back.

Leigh's eyes meet yours, and she nods vigorously, her breath coming in short gasps. “Yes, come. Come with me.”

It's too much—the sight, the sounds, the feel of her—it’s all too much. With a final, shuddering whine, you let go, your orgasm crashing over you. Your body convulses, muscles clenching and releasing as you ride out the intense pleasure. Moments later, Leigh follows, her body shaking as she comes, her moans mingling with yours. Leigh’s face is a picture of bliss, her eyes half-closed, a satisfied smile playing on her lips. You try to memorize it before she collapses on top of you, a sweaty mess of tangled limbs and satisfied sighs.

Blindly, you stare up at the ceiling, trying to catch your breath, feeling Leigh's hot puffs of air tickle your neck as she catches hers. Slowly, you circle your arms around her waist, keeping her on top of you, acutely aware of every point where your skin meets hers, the warmth spreading between you. 

You bury your nose in her hair and breathe in deeply. This act feels more intimate than anything you had done moments ago. The simple closeness, the quiet afterglow, the way you can actually feel her heart beating steadily against your chest.

Minutes pass in comfortable silence, your thumb tracing lazy patterns on her back. Her breathing gradually evens out, each exhale growing softer and deeper. Realizing she's fallen asleep, a contented smile spreads across your face. You press a gentle kiss to her temple, letting your lips linger there for a moment. Carefully, you reach for the covers and draw them over both of you. You hold her close until your own eyelids grow heavy, and you drift off to sleep as well.

[gingiesworld]

Y/N: You're not going to be sad forever.

Leigh: What?

Y/N: I intend to make you smile everytime I see you. (Walks into the door on their way out.)

[wellsayhelloaagin]

Ｒｅｑｕｅｓｔ≣ Ｇｕｉｄｅｌｉｎｅｓ

↪ Requests

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⇢ Please check the request status to see if they are open. This can be found on my navigation post and in my bio

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↪Characters I write for

Marvel

⇢ Wanda Maximoff

⇢ Natasha Romanoff

⇢ Other characters may be considered upon request

Other

⇢ Taylor Sloane

⇢ Jane Banner

⇢ Leigh Shaw

⇢ Gerri Fields

⇢ Other Lizzie characters may be considered upon request

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⇢ I will write for (list may change over time): angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, smut: sex toy use, choking, praise/degradation kinks, multiple characters, exhibition kink, dubcon, dark!character/reader, bondage, overstimulation

⇢ I will not write for (list may change over time): pet play, mdlg, incest, pedophilia, toilet play, mommy/daddy kink, anal play, hateful content (homophobia, transphobia, racism etc), RPF

⇢ If there is anything you are unsure about or that isn't included above, please ask for clarification

[wandabear]

DAYLIGHT ㅤㅤㅤ   

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x female reader Summary: 'Sunflower' prequel. Read that first, if you want. You and the love of your life meet for the first time, you don't know everything that awaits you. Leigh Shaw is a tropical storm. This is also part of a request, thank you sweet anon. ㅤㅤㅤ    warnings: ansgt, mentions of death, alcoholism. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤPART I

Her gaze was lost on the ceiling, perhaps for twenty minutes until the alarm went off. The dark circles under her eyes showed how much it was difficult for her to sleep lately.

Y/N sighed heavily.

ㅤㅤ

She got up from the bed and went to the bathroom to take a nice hot shower. Some melancholic eyes were reflected in the mirror, she watched the scars on her body while she undressed.

ㅤㅤ

Didn't even feel like making breakfast, she just left the apartment and walked to the nearest coffee shop. Waited patiently in line until she could chat with the barista for a moment while waited for a large latte and a delicious bagel.

She took her time finishing it, listening to some music through her headphones for half an hour until she decided to leave.

ㅤㅤ Even though the barista gave Y/N her number, it didn't matter too much. She just got back on her Iron 883 and drove to the Los Angeles Fire Department, Station 12.

Some of her coworkers greeted her, surprised and happy to see her again. Everyone except her boss, who turned to see her quite surprised.

ㅤㅤ

“What did I tell you?” The man in his sixties grunted, shaking his head as he signed some papers.

ㅤㅤ “I have to go back to work.” Y/N sighed, ready to fight for what she wanted this time. “I've already learned whatever lesson you're giving me.”

ㅤㅤ All her life she dreamed of being a firefighter, of being able to help people and being in that very place where she was standing. Years of preparation, mental and physical sacrifice, her heart belonged to that place, how could she not be there?

ㅤㅤ “You can’t do it unless-” He was going to repeat the usual but Y/N cut him off.

ㅤㅤ “Cut the crap, chief.”

ㅤㅤ “Y/N.” He scolded her, looking up. With a single look it was enough for Y/N to know that she fucked it up. She swallowed.  “I have told you many times, you have to go to the meetings or I can't let you come back.”

ㅤㅤ

“It's stupid!” Y/N raised her voice, so annoyed. “I don't need those stupid meetings, what I need is to get back to work.”

ㅤㅤ

“Y/N, I know what it's like to deal with loss. Trust me, I've worked here my whole fucking life.” ㅤㅤ

“Chief, please…” ㅤㅤ

“Tonight. Grief support group, Y/L/N. I need you SOBER and better than this. Last chance.” Her boss watched her and didn't back down even a step. She knew perfectly well that those were the rules and it was necessary.

ㅤㅤ

If she wanted to get back to her job, her life, she had to do what she had to do to earn it. Life is about one sacrifice after another, after all.

ㅤㅤ

“FUCK!” was heard in that place when Y/N left the place in a hurry, completely furious.

ㅤㅤ

“So… that was what happened.” That young man explained, surrounded by the group of people.  He seemed quite sad but felt better when he noticed that everyone was listening to him, not ignoring his pain.

ㅤㅤ

“Thanks for share with us.” They all said, surprising Y/N, who awkwardly joined in.

ㅤㅤ

“I'm glad you could express that to us, James.” The moderator of the group, Janet, smiled kindly, turning to see the new person joining them today.  “Today someone joins us and it's always good to welcome you. Do you want to introduce yourself?”

ㅤㅤ

“Umh… I’m not-” Y/N stammered awkwardly, feeling all eyes on her. Her heart raced, she could feel it. The firefighter hated being the center of attention, but she had to do this if she wanted to go back to the Station.

ㅤㅤ

“My name is Y/N Y/L/N, I'm not from Los Angeles… I mean, I wasn't born here, but I live here in L.A” She cleared her throat somewhat nervously, settling in the chair. “My job asks me to do it, and- and I love my job. And it doesn't bother me, I got used to this nice place.”

ㅤㅤ

“Even if it's a bit hot.” She teased, making some laugh. “I… umh-”

ㅤㅤ

They all expected to know more, they seemed like wild animals waiting for a part of the prey. Or at least that was how she saw it.

Silence flooded the place, Y/N remained thoughtful for a moment. Her gaze was lost somewhere in the room, but she just couldn't hear or say anything.

Just relive that memory, so tragic.

ㅤㅤ

And despite the fact that she wanted to keep talking, Y/N was unable to continue. As if anguish took her by the neck, she just frowned and shook her head.

Swallowing hard, the dark-haired woman just listened to the testimonies of each person who wanted to open up and express the pain they felt.

ㅤㅤ

When she was asked again if she wanted to say something else, Y/N just shook her head slowly and remained silent. It was typical, especially for someone attending for the first time. ㅤㅤ

As soon as that meeting ended, Y/N approached the coffee table in that room so she could pour herself some nice steaming cup and run away as soon as she had the chance. Y/N didn’t want to look so desperate or they would discover the truth. She was just using this meeting to go back the job.

ㅤㅤㅤ    After having a steaming cup of coffee, she turned ready to leave but ended up colliding with a brown-haired woman with lovely but melancholy green eyes. Though thanks to her skills, didn’t spill even a single drop of coffee.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Oh, I’m sorry.” The girl apologized, muttering something a bit embarrassed but didn’t care much either. Something that caught Y/N’s attention, completely out of this world.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

The woman in front of her, a downcast gaze looking at her phone, atractive and charming features.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

ㅤㅤㅤ    “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t saw you…” Y/N mumbled softly, noticing how the woman tucked one of her strands of hair behind her ear.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Feeling completely stunned by the beauty. Even with a half-done bun and hoodies, she was… different. Interesting. Hot as fuck, yes, but… gorgeous. Those huge green eyes caught her attention, a somewhat adorable nose and the fact that she was shorter than her.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Hi… I’m Y/N .” Said the taller woman finally, holding out her hand so they could shake it. That gesture made the green eyed stranger smile, maybe surprised by her desire to socialize.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“I’m Leigh.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Nice to meet you, Leigh.” Y/N smiled widely, nodding a bit. Something that Leigh thought was adorable. A big dork, again. “Sorry, I wanted some coffee.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“And I wanted a donut, although the ones here aren’t so good tho…” Leigh whispered, wrinkling her nose, making Y/N’s heart to start pounding faster. “You’re new here. I haven’t seen you before, welcome.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Y/N swallowed hard again, both began to walk together towards the exit. She just nodded, giving Leigh a chance to speak again. Maybe the brunette might socialize a bit, her mother and Jules always insisted so much. Surely would later regret it later.

Or maybe not.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“I understand the feeling, it’s kind of intimidating.” Leigh shrugged.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Yeah… it’s something… it makes you feel exposed.” Y/N babbled  then opened the door for Leigh to go through first. They both talked for a while until Y/N couldn’t take it anymore. “Umh… Do you promise that if I tell you something you won’t get mad?”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Promise.” Leigh smiled and raised her hand, it was incredible how they barely knew each other and they got along, even being quite friendly with that stranger.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“This isn’t the AA group by any chance, is it?” Y/N bit her bottom lip to hide a guilty and somewhat regretful smile.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“No, it’s not…that’s Wednesday at 6 pm.” Leigh frowned, somewhat amused. Of course she knew because Jules attended every Wednesday.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Yeah… I realized that when everyone started talking and I… was embarrassed to leave. When I started listening to everyone talk about their losses, I felt really bad about it. I mean, I came to talk about how I couldn’t feel comfortable on birthdays or Christmas…”

She lied, again. It was so much better than having to explain, she wasn't going back to that damn meeting anyway. She would tell her boss that she did go, present evidence, and then goodbye.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

And although that would surely end up annoying Leigh so bad, and she would surely get mad for feeling so exposed by telling her story to someone who wasn’t even there for it, Y/N smiled when Leigh started laughing.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

It wasn’t a fake laugh, it was a pretty genuine laugh. And Y/N loved it. Y/N completely fell in love with it.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“It would be worse if you said ‘I only came here for coffee’.” Leigh joked. “Hi, I’m Y/N and I just came here for coffee and to see your sad mopey faces…” ㅤㅤㅤ    Y/N laughed somewhat surprised, glad that the brunette didn’t get mad at her.

ㅤㅤㅤ    “Maybe I do, the anguish revitalizes me and makes me younger. In fact, I am about fifty-two years old.” Y/N continued, walking together out of that building. Without even thinking about it, both were walking side by side, keeping each other company through the streets of Los Angeles. She took a sip from her cup but the coffee was cold. “This isn’t the best coffee tho, but it’s not that bad either…”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Leigh thought for a moment, the sound of cars and footsteps made her lose herself. She strangely felt comfortable with a stranger she hadn’t known more than a few minutes ago. How many times that happened in her whole life? Maybe just one.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Would you like to go to a place where both things are better? Coffee and donuts.” Leigh finally asked as she snatched the coffee out of her hand and tossed it into the nearest trash can.

ㅤㅤㅤ    Surprised at that, Y/N simply nodded and followed Leigh who seemed to know a good coffee place that was open 24 hours. ㅤㅤㅤ   

“So…” Y/N settled into her seat while she put two tablespoons of sugar in her coffee. “How long have you been in the group?”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“A year? I think so…” Leigh wrinkled her nose. “It’s not so bad, I know it's hard to start, but then... it helps.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Does it? Well, she wasn't going to deny that it helped to be able to share the pain with people who understand that too. Although at first she refused a lot.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“They seem like a pretty nice group of people.” Y/N nodded slowly. “Why are you there?”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Perhaps that question was more direct than expected, Y/N cursed herself. Silence for a moment was an answer enough.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, I was too… you know. I… I'm not used to socializing yet.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s okay… I lost my husband a year ago.” Leigh set her coffee cup on the table and licked her lips. “It was quite a difficult time for me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m sorry.” She sighed, seeing how Leigh just nodded, surely tired of hearing those words over and over again. 'Im sorry, sorry for your loss'. That’s exhausting. For a year, each person who crosses your path repeating how sorry they are. For what? They didn't kill Matt. He did. Or the cliff, whatever.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I wasn't looking just for the AA meeting.”  Y/N added, opening up to someone else for the first time. “I mean, I was too. I needed to go to one, but also… I did... I did lose someone. Two.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N cleared her throat, holding that cup with her hands. “It's more complicated than it seems.”

She lowered her gaze.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I see.” Leigh muttered. She didn't know what to say, Leigh wasn't the most talkative person in the world either. But the woman seemed nice, ever since she stopped talking to Becca it had been hard to socialize. Well, it always was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I try to fool myself and people that I don't need it. I don't need to get over that loss because I already did, I mean, that's it, they’re dead but…” The dark-haired woman narrowed her eyes. “I didn't.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Leigh tried to smile but it just seems like an awkward expression, failing completely. She just stretched out her hand to squeeze that stranger's hand and then leaned back in her seat.

The song from the radio seemed to help with the long silence.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What’s the most weird or embarrassing song on your playlist?” Y/N finally broke the silence, an utterly bold move.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What?” Leigh frowned without understanding, maybe a smiling a bit because of how random that was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on, are you afraid that I'll laugh?” Y/N challenged her, raising an eyebrow and smiling mischievously. “What's your guilty pleasure, Leigh Shaw?” She read the name tag on the brunette's jacket.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Far from bothering her, Leigh gladly accepted the challenge.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Barbie Girl by Aqua.” Leigh smiled victoriously. “You?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I never told you that I would tell you.” She teased, drinking her latte. “The baby shark song.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on!”  Leigh giggled.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Spice Up Your Life by Spice Girls. Oh, I love it.” Y/N shrugged and drank some of her coffee. “What Taylor Swift era are you in if you had to pick one?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, I don’t like Taylor Swift.” Leigh said trying to look disinterested but seeing Y/N's look, she just laughed. “Just kidding. Umh… I think I’m… Reputation?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, you totally look like Rep.” Y/N nodded slowly.  “If you were an animal what would you be?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I- I don’t know.” The brunette licked her lips after finishing her coffee.  “Umh… maybe a… a bird. I could fly away, that's it.” She shrugged.  “What about you?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I would be a panda.” Y/N leaned back in her seat, narrowing her eyes as if she had made the best decision of her life, trying to make her laugh. And she did it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Cute and fat. Nice.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“And a loner, and really pissed off. Pandas look cute but they are always angry.”

ㅤ

"It must be the huge dark circles that don't let us see them."

ㅤㅤㅤ

And though she didn't want to admit it, Leigh seemed to be having a good time with this woman. Maybe a bit slow at first but Y/N seemed cool, and it might help if she knows someone in the grief group.

Between giggles and some weird but interesting questions, they both spent the time trying to get to know each other. And time goes by fast when you feel at ease.

Leigh told her that she was a writer, working on a book for some time but hadn't known how to continue.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N told her that she was having a 'break' from her job, as if her wounded ego wouldn't let her reveal that she wasn't allowed back unless she took a step away from alcoholism, self-hatred and pain.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey, Leigh… Umh… Do you know what is white, black, white, black, black and white?” Y/N narrowed her eyes, hoping Leigh would fall for it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Mmm, no.” Leigh narrowed her eyes.  “Piano keys?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“A panda falling down the stairs.” Y/N bit her lower lip to keep from laughing at how stupid that joke sounded.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Despite the fact that that joke was pretty bad, Leigh began to laugh little by little, shaking her head. They both burst out laughing; the connection between the two of them had been instant and the warmth of the moment felt so genuine.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Finally someone was bursting her bubble in an unexpected way and it terrified her. Suddenly Leigh felt a deep pang in her chest. Her eyes filled with tears for a second, remembering the first time she met Matt.

What was she doing? What was she doing in that place?

ㅤㅤㅤ

The smile on Leigh's lips faded so quickly that it made Y/N's heart skip a beat. Did she say something wrong maybe?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, I-I've to go.” Leigh babbled getting up from her chair and taking her jacket.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Surprised -and maybe a bit sad-, Y/N just nodded quickly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Of course, yeah.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She got up and stood in front of the brunette, looking into her green eyes for a moment. They didn't know what to say, just feeling that connection and having to cut it off was so… sad.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It was nice to meet you.” Leigh smiled nervously and grabbed her bag, turning to walk towards the door.  “See you in the group next week.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“See you, Shaw.” Y/N murmured, sitting back in the chair and looking thoughtful as she looked at her empty cup. This was not what she expected, not at all.

Was she doing something wrong? Had she gone too far? She'd just made her laugh! Leigh was beautiful but she wasn't trying to… push her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

What was she going to do there anyway? Y/N took her keys and her jacket and left the café, to go back home before it was late. Maybe tomorrow would be a different day.

ㅤㅤㅤ

But when she returned home, loneliness invaded her completely. Like a dark misterious being, caught her i its cloak, drowning her in misery. That desolate apartment made Y/N’s heart slowly sink.

Y/N took a deep breath and walked to the fridge, seeing only thing she had was beer cans and some old food.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N took the beer to the sink, looking at them for a moment.

ㅤㅤㅤ

What to do? What to feel? She needed to drown all those negative feelings inside of her, and the only way to numb them was... that.

But unlike other heartbreaking nights, now there was something else on her mind. Something that aroused her interest, even if she didn't know it yet.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N took the beers and one by one poured them into the sink, letting them go. Part of her said no, leave some, at least one in case someone ever came along or something. Or drink just one and throw everything Or perhaps better drink one and throw away all the rest, one more. The last one.

ㅤㅤㅤ

She tilted her head to see the photograph on the nearest cabinet, an adorable photograph of her and two other women, hugging in front of the beach. One was redhead and the other brunette. The three of them laughed, making funny faces. ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N remembered the time Nat and Jules invited her to go to the beach that weekend, although Y/N refused saying that they should 'make it a romantic trip', they just wanted to spend time with her.

That weekend they spent one of the best days of her life, ending it with that photograph in a beautiful sunset in front of the beach.

ㅤㅤㅤ

This is what they would have wanted.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing, Y/N dropped the rest of the beers and took the phone to order something to eat, other than a piece of cheese and bread. And although she didn't want to think about it, that night Y/N lay in bed thinking about that woman, and that perhaps it wouldn't be bad to visit the group again next week.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Anyone else want to share something with us?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thomas?” Janet asked but the man just shook his head, he wasn't ready to do it. Now the gaze of Janet fell on her. Y/N settled into her seat, surely Janet noticed how she moved her leg anxiously.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N? Would you like to tell us something?” Her voice was so warm that Y/N had to stop herelf from telling her to fuck off for it.

ㅤㅤㅤ It had been quite a difficult week. Y/N believed that by throw away every bottle and presenting a paper that said that she attended ONE meeting, her boss was going to accept it, but it wasn’t like that at all.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Swallowing, she just tilted her gaze. “I’m angry.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Being angry is good, it's good to allow ourselves positive but also negative feelings.” Janet nodded, and the others around her did the same. All those looks on her, just made it feel like some kind of experiment.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m so angry. Because I want to go back to my life, to my work and I have to be here.” She let out again, not knowing why she was saying all that. Y/N just knew that every word was escaping from her mouth and couldn't control it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone around her listened attentively, including Leigh, who was in front of her with a coffee in her hand.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Everyone looking at me like I'm a fucking guinea pig or something. Okay, wanna know? Let's see... I lost my whole life thanks to alcoholism.” Y/N frowned, thinking how far she had come. How is it that everything changed so much from one moment to the next? “And I fell into alcoholism because I lost my sister and my best friend at the same time. Also my parents treated me like shit.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Leigh, who was staring at her, felt a little sorry, understanding the woman a bit more now. Everyone there did it, in their own way, everyone suffered an irreparable loss but slowly they tried to heal.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“My sister died a short time ago. Sh- she wasn't my biological sister, but she was my sister.” Y/N sighed deeply, entering a rather complicated field. Her lip twitched. “As I said, a year ago.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone listened carefully and said nothing, when someone opened up like that it was important that they feel heard.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Julia.” Y/N swallowed at the thought of her best friend, her sister. “That was her name, we called her Jules, she was wonderful. A lovely human being, she had a lovely wife too. They died… and I'm here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

That name made Leigh look at her, having her full attention. As if fate somehow played a trick on them. ㅤㅤㅤ

“We were together since elementary school, always… She was there for me more than anyone.” You could tell that talking about it hurt deeply, Y/N swallowed and narrowed her eyes several times to keep from crying. “Even when I said that my dream was to be a firefighter, she decided to come along and support me. Although she chose to be a paramedic, so we could be together.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N felt her lips tremble and how those eyes filled with tears but she tried to stay strong because she couldn't cry in front of all those people, could she? Come on. ㅤㅤㅤ “There was a gas leak in a building... then there was a big explosion.  We were there.” Tears began to fall but she was too exhausted to wipe them away or hide them. “She and her wife Nat died… They died and I’m here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She hated having to be the center of attention, feeling like an 'attention whore' or something. But once she started expressing what she felt, she couldn't stop. Because she no longer had anyone to talk to.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m still here and I sometimes I hate it.” She sniffled. "If we were a team… why didn't they take me too?"

ㅤㅤㅤ “I spent so much time thinking that… that maybe I'm just crazy. That maybe she's not gone. She’ll come around the corner any second, smiling at me.” Y/N smiled at the memory that came to mind.  “Ma- Making fun of how I usually breathe through my mouth when I eat, she says I look like a fish out of water.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N laughed through tears.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Since that day my head has not stopped telling me that it is better to get away from everyone before they abandon me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She felt a soft hand resting on her shoulder and for a moment she thought about leaving, but seeing that the old lady only wanted to comfort her, Y/N just let it happen.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“And I'm mad at myself and everyone.”  Y/N looked down. “Especially my boss who won't let me go back to work and be able to save people. That’s it.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thank you, Y/N. For your sacrifice and for sharing this with us.”  Janet said and they all repeated again, nodding.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It is important to be able to express what we feel in order to move forward.” Janet smiled kindly. “Denial and anger are two huge steps towards acceptance.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing deeply and managing to calm down, Y/N nodded and dried her tears with a tissue that the kind old lady offered her, making the woman smile a bit.

After the group finished, Y/N left the place feeling the load on her back slightly lessen. Not much, but enough to take the first step out of darkness.

ㅤㅤㅤ

She noticed how Leigh waited, sitting on the stairs. Scrolling down her phone.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey.” The brunette stood up when she saw her, smiling kindly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey, Shaw.” Y/N stood next to her, her heart beats faster but she told herself that it was surely because she was crying before. “Did you run out of gasoline?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No, I just took an Uber today, I didn't feel like driving.” Leigh wrinkled her nose and crossed her arms, as she began to walk with Y/N. “I'm glad you could express what you feel.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sure.” Y/N smirked, while playing with the keys of her motorcycle.  “Crying like a child in front of a group of people I don't know isn't too bad.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“But do you feel better?” Leigh arched an eyebrow.

ㅤㅤㅤ

They stopped when Y/N reached her motorcycle and she got on it. “Yeah…”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, this is yours?” Leigh pointed at the motorcycle in surprise.  “I thought it was from some bearded drunk old man who mistook this place for a biker bar.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The brunette joked and within seconds she realized what she just said, but Y/N just bit her lower lip trying not to laugh. 

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, too soon for someone recovering from… alcoholism. Fuck.” Leigh had always been too direct and perhaps a little cruel at times, even if she didn't want to.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N finally laughed at that joke, holding the helmet in her hands. “It’s okay, it wasn’t that bad. I’m not a baby.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Good then.” Leigh turned to walk away but stopped to say something else. “Y/N?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah?” She looked up as she started the bike and made it roar.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“How can you want to save someone if you don't do something to save yourself?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Perhaps one of the best questions she had ever heard. Leigh raised an eyebrow and smiled victoriously.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What are you some kind of cheap shrink or something?” Y/N growled.

ㅤㅤㅤ Leigh shrugged. “I have an advice column on a website. That must give me some kind of value to my words, right?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N gave a small laugh. “Yeah, it shows.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing deeply, Y/N handed the helmet to the brunette who looked at her blankly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on, sunflower.” Y/N made the bike roar, but Leigh still didn't move. That nickname made her narrow her eyes, not knowing how to take it.  “I'll take you home, okay?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm not going to get on that.” Leigh rolled her eyes, she was definitely not going to get on a bike with a stranger -not so stranger- and much less at night. What was she? One of those bitches from Grand Theft Auto?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on! It's dark and the Ubers will take time, plus you could get any psycho here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing in defeat, Leigh snatched the helmet from her hands in complete annoyance. Y/N helped and when she was ready, she drove through the city to the brunette's house.

It wasn't too far from her house, so that wasn't too bad.

Once they arrived, Leigh hurried to get off the motorcycle and removed her helmet, afraid someone would see her. Especially her nosy mother or sister.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thank you.” Leigh said quickly, arranging her hair a bit.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You are welcome.” The dark-haired woman smiled and nodded. “Not bad for a biker.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

But far from laughing, Leigh just rolled her eyes and then saw how Y/N started her motorcycle again, ready to go.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why?” the brunette asked, making Y/N to look at her, confused.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why what?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why did you call me sunflower?” She frowned blankly. She had to know or her doubt would eat her up all week.

ㅤㅤㅤ

But this time, the one who smiled victoriously was Y/N.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“See you next week, Shaw.” She just looked straight ahead and drove away from that house, leaving Leigh behind.

🌼 cute people i'm gonna tag here: 🌼 @oh-thats-cute - @katiemay-025 - @imnotasuperhero - @marvelogic

[yelenasdiary]

Kinktober Info

So, I have decided to join in on the kinktober trend this year! Please have a read below on how to request a fic and the times I'll be posting etc.

Please DO NOT read this post or interact with my blog in any form if you are a minor! This is for people 18+ ONLY!. Men, please do not interact, thank you.

This is kind of long but it includes everything you need to know before sending me a request x.

Requesting -

If you'd like to request a fic for Kinktober, please read these points carefully.

~ The deadline to have requests sent is September 23rd (AEST). For anybody outside Australia, this would be September 22nd.

~ When requesting, please mark your request with "For Kinktober", if you don't I will just assume your request isn't for the event.

~ Sending a request doesn’t guarantee it will be written, I may get an overwhelming amount of requests for this & if that happens, I simply cannot write them all.

~ When sending a request, please state if you want Reader to be fem or GN! If you want Reader to have a penis in the fic, please mention if you want them to be Fem, GN or AFAB/AMAB.

Here is a list of what I am comfortable with writing & what I am not comfortable writing. Please read these carefully, if you send a request that I am not comfortable with, I will delete it without an explanation.

Comfortable With: Daddy/Mommy kinks, Con Non Con, Character x Character, Character x Reader, Breeding Kink, Voyeurism, Desperation, Toys, Bondage, Double Penetration, Lactation Kink, Somnophilia, Exhibitionism. FAB! Reader with a penis and/or Character with a penis.

Not Comfortable With: Scat, Incest, Pedophilia, Character x Male Reader, Body Shaming, R*pe, Racism, Age Regression in a sexual setting.

I do not write smut for celebrity x reader. I only write smut for female fictional characters x reader.

Extra Details -

~ I will post a fic every Monday, Wednesday & Friday for kinktober, giving you all a total of 13 fics. Again, for all those outside Australia, this will be every Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday.

~ All fics will be posted at 5PM AEST. If for any reason I will be late posting, I'll make a post about it.

~ I will not have a seperate taglist for this, if you want to be tagged for any of my work, please leave a comment on THIS POST.

Who I Will Write For -

If somebody isn’t listed here, it doesn’t necessarily mean I won’t write for them.

Yelena Belova (Marvel)

Wanda Maximoff // The Scarlet Witch (Marvel)

Natasha Romanoff (Marvel)

Kate Bishop (Marvel)

Agatha Harkness (Marvel)

Melina Vostokoff (Marvel)

Emily Prentiss (Criminal Minds)

Charlie Ross (The Little Drummer Girl)

Kelly Foster (We Brought a Zoo)

Jane Banner (Wind River)

Leigh Shaw (Sorry For You Loss)

Alice Chambers (Don’t Worry Darling)

Taylor Sloane (Ingrid Goes West)

Any variant characters from THIS LIST.

With that, I can't wait to be apart of this little event (or trend, whatever you want to call it!) I'm excited to see what you guys come up with! If you have any further questions, concerns or if you're confused on anything, please don't hesitate to send me a message or ask.